March 15, 2015 Recovery Day

The day after a half marathon is always a little slow and easy.  Unfortunately, the cat did not get the memo.  It is partially my fault; in all of the epic-ness that happened yesterday, I forgot to buy him cat food and we were out.  I tried to trick him with dog food last night.  That didn't go over so well.  So he started crying early this morning and finally at 9:30, he was really making a racket!  So I closed him up in the laundry room and went back to bed.  Tracy was finally getting some sleep and I didn't want him to be disturbed.  That didn't work. As soon as I woke up and rolled out of bed, he woke up too.  *sigh*  We did get in some quality snuggle time which we needed after his long trip last week.

Unfortunately, his back is out so laying in bed too long wasn't an option.  We finally rolled out of bed around 10:30 and went to the usual Bagel joint for breakfast.  Then it was off to buy a new toilet for the girl's bathroom upstairs.  I have heard nightmares about replacing toilets so I was a bit worried.  To my surprise it wasn't too expensive to purchase a new one.  I mean a toilet is a toilet, right?  I could be wrong.  *laugh*  Anyway, we got that taken care of and ran to the pet store for the much needed cat food and fish food (Fish are much quieter about not having food..just sayin'.)

Tracy and Nate got the toilet replaced in very quick time.  I am totally impressed and I am very grateful for Tracy's handiness!  I am also very happy that Nate got in there and helped him.  It's good quality time for them.

It really has been a low key kind of day.  Not much really going on around here; which is good.

We did end up meeting our friends at the movie theater to see Cinderella.  Tracy was not impressed, but he only went to spend time with me and Omi.  I managed to eat entirely too much popcorn.  I actually feel sick to my stomach.  *laugh*  The movie was very good actually.  I know the original story is kind of grotesque and rather grim in places.  And this movie version didn't miss that entirely.  Actually, they got the sad parts so right that I was pretty worried about Omi Girl.  She powered through it, though.  As I watched the movie, I was remembering what Tracy said about seeing all these little girls dressed up like princesses this weekend and he didn't know why.  And I remembered when Omi used to dress like that.  I remember when she was so sweet and innocent and thought the world was this magical beautiful happy place.  Now, she doesn't think that so much.  It kind of makes me sad.  It's not that I want her delusional, but the anxiety and PTSD have really taken its toll on her I think.  Though every once in a while, I see glimpses of that bubbly girl she used to be.  And today in the movie, I saw it again.  She leaned over and said, "I want a dress like that!"  Omi, who hates dresses.  Omi, who would rather run around in sweats and flannels was telling me that she wants a big flowy poofie princess ball gown!!!!  I about fell off my chair!!!

Last night I had more dreams about Nick and I was sad when I woke up this morning.  I can't remember what my dream was about specifically, but I do remember being sad.  I woke up telling Tracy that I wish my time of the month would hurry and come and go away because then my dreams would stop.  I always dream vividly during PMS and since Nick died, they have always been about him....*sigh*

Even with the sad dreams, I feel hopeful.  There is a part of me that is sad and really wishes my life could go back to pre-november.  But there is the other part of me that says this is my new reality and things are hopeful.  Mostly there is this thing inside of me that keeps telling me that tomorrow is a new day and with each sunset comes a promise of a returning sunrise.

Here's to a beautiful sunrise!