Typical of any night before race day, I only got 5 hours of sleep, but gratefully, it was a dreamless sleep. After being miserably sick all week, the ONLY reason I was still doing this Shamrock Shuffle was because Omi Girl was so excited for it. Earlier in the week, she had a really bad panic attack and she didn't really care. But once she got over that hump, she became very excited for the race and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with it. During the week, she kept checking on me and I could tell she was excited for the race. I had decided I was going to do the race whether I had a fever or not. Thankfully, I went to the doctor (again) on Friday and got some major drugs (a 2nd stronger antibiotic to be taken along side what I was already taking, steroids, and an inhaler) and a blessing to do the race from my doctor. (I think he knows me well enough to know that no matter what he said, I was going to do it anyway.) LOL So with 5 hours sleep, I rolled out of bed and got ready for the race.
Naomi was up and ready in a flash and was wide awake and raring to go! I had checked the last minute email from the race directors telling us that it was going to be hotter than heck and to be prepared. At the last half marathon in February, they had 2 people go to the hospital for dehydration. I gave this info to Omi and that scared and impressed her. I think that was the first time she realized that this isn't a distance for wimps and I was very serious about how tough these races can be and how proud she should be of her accomplishments. Anyway, we made sure we had salt tabs and electrolyte replacements with us and we headed out. It was over cast and breezy. I had serious doubts of the temps getting too high.
Naomi brought her jacket, just in case. As it turned out, that is a brilliant call on her part. When we got to St. Chappelle Winery, it was blustery and cold. There was an excitement in the air. Everyone was wearing their finest St. Patties Day festive wear and there were several men in kilts. The bag pipers came out to entertain and start the race. At exactly 9:26 we snapped a picture to celebrate the Epic Pie Day 3.141592652. This particular day was a day Nick had been looking forward to. He would have celebrated the heck out of yesterday, so as a family it was a pretty special day for all of us. Omi and I dedicated this race to her brother.
Finally the race started. We had decided we were walking the entire thing and taking it easy on ourselves. I mean, I was after all less than 24 hours from my last fever!
Naomi does NOT do hills. She doesn't even like to hike. We don't train on hills. And this course was HILLY. As a matter of fact, before we even got in our first mile, we had to climb a huge long hill. Naomi's heart rate got very high very fast and that sent her into full blown panic attack. I held her hand and kind of pulled her up the hill and told her to keep breathing and reassuring her that she was safe and I was right there by her side. I pointed out the beauty that was around us. I tried my best to refocus her mind and off of the hills that were climbing ahead of us.
I pointed out horses (her favorites). I tried everything. By mile 2, we were still climbing hills. She was almost in tears. Her rib was out. She was in pain. Then she tells me something no parent wants to hear....."I think there is something wrong with my heart. It keeps skipping beats and feels like something is stabbing it."
She continues to tell me that she thinks all of these panic attacks are damaging her heart. It's been like this for over a month now. She was afraid to tell me. So here we are 2 miles into a half marathon. In my heart of hearts, I know her heart is okay. But I also know how her anxiety works. I also know that after the 5K distance most of our hills will be over with and we will have some flat lands to relax in. I also knew that I could offer her a turn around and DNF (Did Not Finish) and just call it a day. Between hills, cold, wind and rain it was a miserable run. I simply held her hand, looked at her and asked her, "We can't get your heart checked right now. But I promise you, you heart is okay. Anxiety will not hurt your heart, but I will make an appointment with the doctor next week. But today, what do you want to do?" To my shock, her reply was, "I just want to get through this race." In that moment, Naomi showed more strength than most adults. I promised to help her do just that, held her hand and we kept walking.
In the title of this post I said this was the toughest half marathon yet, and I'm not taking about Naomi's very short 1 race experience. I am talking about my cumulative experiences. I have finished 5 half marathons, 5 marathons, 1 50K, several 5 Ks and 1 10k (and one of those half marathons was Robie Creek when it was 92 degrees outside). I have raced in the mountains. I have raced in cold rain. I have raced in extreme heat. I have raced in gale force winds with rain coming at me in sheets. But I am serious when I say yesterday's race was the toughest half marathon. And here is why.... 1) Omi's panic attack 2) The steep hills 3) Cold winds 4) Cold rain 5) (This is the biggest) Not knowing the course.
These endurance races are mostly mental. I have told Omi that over and over and over again. One of the best ways to help with the mental game is to know your course. The course was changed for this race like a week before the race. I was very unclear about where this race was taking us. I thought it was an out and back. But when our friends showed up at the race telling us that they were working the aid station at mile 7 something, Omi and I became very confused. Not only were they at mile 7 something but they were at the turn around point. A half marathon is only 13.1 miles. If this race was an out and back and we turned around at 7 something miles that was over 13.1 miles.
Not only had we climbed up some steep hills between the start of the race and mile 7 something, but we had also gone DOWN some pretty big hills. Naomi had been doing the math and had started to panic. She was cold. She was wet. She was hurting and started feeling the beginnings of a blister on the ball of her foot. She was freaking out. She didn't know where the course was taking us and she didn't want to go back up those hills. She didn't want to do more than 13.1 miles. I thought she was going to cry. THIS is the reason this was the toughest race!!! It's all a mental game, and we were not prepared for this one.
I know it sounded like a horrible day. But there were some really great parts. After the 5K distance, we hit the flats. The 10K racers had started catching up to us. I had friends in that distance. One of them caught up to us and gave us high fives... that is always fun. Omi had perked up and was talkative and singing and being silly again. We held hands about 98% of the time during this race. If I let go, she would grab my hand again. At about mile 6 or so, the half marathoners on their way back had started to pass us and that is always fun. I love cheering them on. The mutual "Great job! Keep it up!" is always fun. And I get to see my friends that are ahead of me. We saw several of them and got high fives and run-by hugs. One woman stopped and asked if she could take our picture. She said we were too cute. She took a video to get our names first, then she took a selfie with us. I have no idea who she was. Naomi and I just laughed and enjoyed the encouragement. We finally reached our turn around point and got hugs and "i love yous" from our friends at the aid station and we headed back to finish the race. At this point, Omi and I thought we were last. I have always been a back of the packer, but I have NEVER been dead last in a race. I was totally okay being last in this race. But on our way back, we came across someone who was behind us. Guess we weren't last. Then after that lady, we waved to the sweeper as he ran passe us to catch up with the last racer. These race directors do not take you off the course; they welcome walkers. But they will send a sweeper to escort you at your pace and keep you encouraged until you cross the finish line.
The last half of the race was the hardest. Omi's foot was really hurting her. I was in a great deal of intestinal discomfort and finally decided to make a pit-stop at mile 11. Glad I did cause it was the last place to stop and there is no way I could have made the last hill climb other wise. Finally at mile 11, we found the answer to the question "How do we get back to the finish line without going over 13.1 miles?" Omi had some sense of relief, but still didn't know where/which way the winery was and she did't know what to expect. When she saw the hill in front of us she exclaimed, "Who the hell puts a steep hill at the end of a race??!!!!!" Poor kid. I held her hand as much as I could, but since this was 2 lane road with no shoulder and the hill was steep, the cars couldn't see us. I made her stay behind me as we climbed that hill. As we climbed, people who had finished the race drove by in their cars and honked the horns and gave us thumbs up. My friends stopped to cheer us on. We may have been alone on that course, but we weren't alone. And I'm so grateful for that stretch in the race, even if it sucked!
I got my bearings and figured out where we were on the course. I told Omi we had no more hills and we were almost finished. We continued holding hands and we made our last turn to head down the hill that was at the start of the race. Someone else pulled over and cheered for us and yelled "I love you" out the window. I have no idea who it was, but it made us smile. I felt very sad when I saw the beer truck leave. I guess I missed my chance for beer at the finish line. Omi exclaimed, "There had better be green Hawaiian punch left for me!" And we kept walking. We turned the corner into the entrance of the winery, then we turned the corner to see the finish line stretch. People were walking down and eheering us on. Hand in hand, we walked and smiled and agreed we would not sprint the finish line. We were just too done. I kept telling Omi how proud I was of her. This race sucked bad, and she could have asked at any time to stop, but she didn't. She fought through it.
Finally we saw the finish line. Our friends (Megan and Brandon) from the 7 mile aid station were there waiting for us. If you have never been a serious back of the packer, there is no way to describe what it is like to arrive at a finish line where people are tearing down the race and no one is there to cheer you on as you cross the line. But there were Megan and Brandon, 2 photographers, and the time keepers. Brandon and Megan were cheering us on and being silly and making me laugh hysterically. Omi and I crossed the finish line hand in hand, just the same way we walked 98% of that race. We collected our medals, took pictures, and headed to hot soup, corn muffins and found our mugs and Omi's Green Hawaiian Punch! Brandon made Omi's first cup of soup and we visited for a bit and cheered on the last person to cross the finish line and give her high 5's. Then Omi had her 2nd cup of soup and we made the long drive home in wet cold clothes.
I could not be any prouder of that girl! She continues to shock and amaze me. I hope that she amazes herself and sees the immense strength she shows during times like today!
After the half marathon, I had another race of sorts. I had to get home, shower and change and run to the tattoo shop where Tracy and Nate were getting their memorial tattoos for Nick. Donna did an amazing job on their Pi tattoos (the same tattoo that Nick designed and wore on his right arm).
To finish the Epic Day off, Tracy, Nate and I met our friend Kris for Pie! Yummy!!!
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