Another night of dreams. They can stop any night now. This one was bitter sweet. It started with me and Tracy back in Belize at the Coco Plum Resort.... my favorite place on Earth. This is the resort that Tracy and I went to for our 25th anniversary. While we were there, we met some amazing people that we call our Island Family. I am still friends with some of these people on Facebook. The staff there are like family to each other and the guests. We had so much fun on the catamaran sail boat and kayaking and paddle boarding and drinking and dancing. It really was the best couples vacation anywhere.
There are no kids allowed on the island. However, you can rent out the entire island and bring whomever you would like. Families have big reunions there.
Last night I had this dream that Tracy and I were back on the island. We were there with our friends Brandon and Megan. They day that Brandon and Megan went on the usual favorite tours, Tracy and I decided to spend the extra money for an all day deep sea fishing trip. Afterwards we all met back on the island with drinking and dancing and laughing. Then all of a sudden, there was a 3rd couple with us. I smiled and looked over, it was Nick and Suzy. We were all laughing and having a great time together and Tracy and I were talking about how much we missed our other kids and wished they could be there. Then I realized Omi couldn't come because she is a minor. I got sad that I couldn't share this kind of vacation with her. Then all of a sudden I looked at Nick's smiling face and in my dream it hit me. This isn't Nick. I was having a great time with him and Suzy, but this isn't real. It's only a dream. I woke up crying. No more fun family vacations with Nick. No more beach vacations with all of my kids. No more family snorkeling trips.
My family had the best family vacations. We hit the beach to surf. We went on snorkeling trips. When the tiki bar that was supposed to be at the hotel had been burned down, we brought our own drinks and fun to the pool. We sat in hotel breakfast areas and ordered pizza and played games like dominoes or pick up sticks. We rode insane roller coasters. We fed squirrels; Nick's favorite were the black squirrels in Seattle. Nick and Nate used to practice free-running in downtown Seattle before it was cool. We toured San Fran's ghost scene. We canoed and had massive splash fights. We hiked. We swung on rope swings into lakes. We took over whole hotel pool areas with more of the Spiva clan for a family BBQ and pool side antics. We took long road trips and sang silly songs. We camped and fished. We always had a great time together. There will be more family vacations, but without Nick. Gosh I miss his smile and his laughter. I miss seeing him with Suzy and how much he loved her.
*sigh*
So I went to the doctor today. Getting into my family doctor is next to impossible when you are actually sick. He is usually very busy birthing babies or seeing the moms or babies after they are born. He is a general family doctor who does alot of birthing. But he is more than that. He is the only doctor I have ever met who will remember every person in the family. He will notice if your hair is purple today or if you all of a sudden have long purple nails (when you didn't have either of those a month ago when he saw you last when you took your daughter in). He will notice your glasses and compliment ALL of these things. He knows why you are in his office. But he will also inquire about your mental and emotional state; and he will remember the date that your son (his previous patient) died.. even if that death happened in another state.. even if he only heard you say it once. He will remember, and he will ask you how you are doing. Then he will ask you how the rest of your family is doing. And he will ask you about Nick's wife (whom he has never met) to make sure she is doing okay. Because that is the kind of doctor/man he is. THAT is the reason he is impossible to get into! So today, since I was awake and up and running at 8:30, I called to see if he had any free appointments. I was in luck.. even if it is Friday the 13th.
I explained my cold/ear infection/possible sinus infection situation. I told him I went to the Doc in the Box on Tuesday. He pulled up the notes in the computer, and sure enough, the notes from my Primary Health Care visit were on the computer in this exam room that is not affiliated with my the Doc in the Box. Creepy, but efficient. Anyway, while he was checking me out he asked about my plans for this weekend. I told him about the half marathon tomorrow. He stopped and looked at me. I thought for a certain he was gonna say.. "Ya, that's not gonna happen." Instead he looked at me and said, "Have you even been able to train while you are sick?" I explained the situation and he was like, well, we will get you hooked up and ready to tackle that race! Have I mentioned how much I love my doctor? I left there with steroids, (Yup, I'll be juicing for the race tomorrow..don't hate me cause I'm juiced...hopefully Omi can keep up with me), another anti-biotic to go along with the first set (better start drinking yogurt like its a life saving force) and an inhaler to help with the massive coughing fits that will be coming after I am done (that happened at last month's race..I coughed for a week and I wasn't even sick then). So ya.. I'm all kinds of drugged up right now! As of today, this infection has been served an eviction notice!!!
After I picked up Omi from school, we went to Pulse to pick up some electolyte replacement powder and some SCaps. While we were there, we found a 13.1 necklace and I had to buy it for Omi. She loves it, and it will be a great reminder of how strong she is.
We went from one running store to the other one to pick up our race packets which was quick and painless and Omi was excited to find the FinalKick logo sticker to put on her new (to her laptop). She said she is going to decorate her laptop in 1/2 marathon stickers. I tell you introducing her to half marathons is one of the best things I have done for her!
After packet pick up, we took her to her first aerial silk class. I thought it would be good for her to build her upper body as well as find out she is stronger than she thinks she is. Every once in a while I would peak out from the dressing/waiting room and take a picture or just watch her. She was smiling from ear to ear. She was climbing like a natural. I saw her find her strength! It was so amazing! And when she came to get me, she was all smiles and carrying herself with such poise and confidence. She told me she felt like a badass. She started the class feeling self-conscious of her body and the scars on her legs, but she completely forgot about that. She was wearing her spanky shorts and looked in the mirror and instead of seeing her scars, she saw strong beautiful legs. Yay!!! All she felt and saw in herself was strength she didn't know she had. The other ladies kept telling her how natural she was at it. She was smiling from ear to ear and can't wait to go back! She has big designs on taking this for years and then performing with Red Light Variety Show.
Then it was off to pick up Tracy. Yay!!! He is home! Now it's time to cuddle up with him.
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