So I joined Planet Fitness again today. We used to belong to this gym before we moved to Meridian, but since there are not any close by PFs, we cancelled and I signed the entire family up for the YMCA. No one went but me, and I really only like it for swimming. It wasn't worth the $73/month. So I cancelled that. Then my friends Brandon and Megan joined PF to take their niece to the gym, and this particular gym is a mile from my mom and I need to get her back in the gym. After talking with my mom about what she wants in a gym, this is our best option. For her its $10/month. For me, it is more because I want to tan, massage, and take people with me. *laugh*
Anyway, I went today and worked out. I forgot to mention in the above paragraph that there are several senior citizens that work out there. I thought this would be good for mom. I, however, did not realize how it might affect me. *laugh* I was doing great. I did a 15 minute warm up on the eliptical. I visited with a couple of friends that were just finishing up their work out. Then I went to do the 30 minute circuit. The idea of this circuit is that you follow machines numbered 1-20. You follow them in order. You change machines/activities based on a red light and green light. The first one is step for cardio. The 2nd (at this gym) is triceps machine. The 3rd is a step, and the 4th, is the bicep curl. You are supposed to go in order; it keeps people moving in an organized fashion. This area is intended for circuit training ONLY. So I had just finished my step (1) and was ready to move to Machine 2, when a senior citizen had wiped down both machines 2 and 4. She planned on using them both...alternating.... and those only. Clearly, (if you followed the numbers) she had jumped on the machine that I had planned on using in the proper way for this area. My blood pressure started to boil over. I took a few deep breaths and decided to work backwards instead. There was only 1 other woman (another senior citizen) using the area. She and I managed to work around each other; she had seen what had happened with the other lady. *sigh* Eventually, I got into my workout and forgot the rude lady. And to be fair, at my old PF, lots of people (young)would jump into the circuit area to use the bicep machine when no one was using it; but they were at least respectful of the process.
(I might have issues directed at senior citizens..........just sayin')
Anyway......I am glad I got that work out in. The other thing I love about this particular gym is their trampoline/medicine ball area. Who needs to punch things, when I can throw a heavy ball at a trampoline and have it hurt itself back at me? This is a GREAT exercise for putting you in the moment and forgetting everything else. You HAVE to be in the moment, or you will get hurt. And when you are in the moment, in the NOW, there is only happiness! I see myself using this equipment a great deal! They also have the heavy ropes there. I will using those as well. Yes indeed, this gym will be good for me!
On a different note, last night I had a strange feeling. I had made dinner and, rather organically, we all ended up sitting at the dinner table together. I know this sounds horrible, but that is something that we rarely do. Anyway, we all sat there eating and talking about our day. It was all very natural. Then later, Tracy passed me while we were both changing rooms, and he stopped to hug me and kiss me and flirt, and I saw an old familiar look in his eyes. I have not seen that look since the accident. Then last night as we went to bed, I felt guilty for feeling almost normal. Like, "what if we all stop hurting. What if we all stop crying. Will we forget Nick? I don't want to ever forget my son." Logically, I know that I will NEVER forget my son. Logically I know that eventually, the pain will decrease and punches to the gut will be fewer and farther between. But in that instant, I was sad that maybe we were getting over this too fast. Weird feeling.
Here's to getting back to routine and regaining my health!
Oh honey - I understand that last part. I feel guilty for feeling scared. I have dealt with so much depression that I have been scared that feeling so heartbroken will throw me back into depression. I'm trying to remember that Nick loved me and would want me to take care of myself. Same thing with you. I know without any doubt that Nick would want you to grab those moments of happy. As an aside, Trey and I are also PF members. :) I love going to the gym. Being an introvert, I DON'T like to take people with me! LOL.
ReplyDeleteMisty,Yes, Nick would want you to be happy. I have dealt with alot of grief in my life....the worst was losing 4 people that I cared about in a few short months time span. I litterally came home from Grandma Firmin's funeral to find out my business partner had died. Ugh! And that was AFTER my favorite massage client died like a month before. Then my female soul mate died a month later. It sucked!
DeleteLosing those 4 in such a short time doesn't even compare to losing Nick. But I kinda feel like going through all of that was preparation for going through this (at least for me).
I do understand that as well. I felt like I was finally coming out of the fog caused by Sarah's murder. I know Nick was not my son, and I do NOT try to compare my grief to yours..... but please know that I am here. If you just need someone to scream at - I'm here. Of course, I'm here for anything else, but I know you've had a lot of anger, so know that I have big shoulders! :)
DeleteThanks. I really have been trying to keep my anger to this household, my blogs, and a few outside of the family friends (maybe). Lots of people offer to listen, but for whatever reason, I just don't talk to people about this directly. I have lots of friends who want to get together and have drinks and talk.....and the thought of it... well....its all just so much when all I really wanna do is just kinda keep that stuff to myself and maybe stick to myself (and the family).It's hard to explain. Love you!!!!
DeleteNope - don't worry. It's totally cool, and I get it. I just want you to know that it is available, and that I love you. And it is always available - a year down the line or more even.
ReplyDelete