I had HUGE plans for the day. Get Omi to school, Tracy to work, Nate to his eye exam and then tackle the garage and the office and pay some bills. It started out smoothly enough....
While I took Nate in to get his eyes checked, I thought I would have them check my glasses. I just picked them up something like 2 weeks ago, and this week while I was reading my book, I felt like my glasses were not working. Sure enough, my prescription was wrong. It wasn't wrong because the doctor made a mistake; it was wrong because my eyes were too tense to begin with. Now that my eyes are relaxed from the new glasses, they are having issues with the new glasses and we can get a "true" prescription. Joy. Gratefully, the new lenses will not cost me any more. The doctor also said, Nate will likely have the same issues since he has been straining his eyes for so long. (At least he got a warning.)
We came home and I checked my computer before hitting the garage and I found out that one of my favorite people from church died unexpectedly. Jody has the best smile, the easiest laugh, and a magical way about her. She was one of my favoritest people to hug when I went to church. She was so full of life. She was truly the life of the party. I bawled my eyes out.
I'm not sure when all this grief is going to end, but I sure wish it would happen soon! Just when I think my heart can't take anymore, something else happens. Seriously, universe. I'm done. I have reached my limit. Thank you for thinking I am this strong, but seriously.. I'm done. Now where is my beach vacation filled with dancing and laughter?
Filled with rage and anger, I went to the nearest MacDonald's and stuffed my emotions with toxic comfort food. Then paid off a big bill. Then came home and attacked my garage with a vengeance! After moving and lifting heavy boxes, wood furniture, and big filled tool chests, the car can now be parked in the garage! And I am very grateful for my friend Brandon who came by to give me a hug and make me laugh. As usual, are jokes and silliness are not for the "pure at heart" and I think the nice Mormon lady across the street got more than she bargained for when she decided to ease drop on my conversation with the strange man who comes by to visit when my husband isn't home. The song, "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About" comes to mind.
Beyond the garage, I managed to get the boxes unpacked in the office and got other things put away. I still have a few more things in there to take care of, but I feel like Tracy can find some peace in the rooms that were driving him crazy. Maybe he can find some order in these rooms now.
Tonight we went out on a date. For a while there, I thought we were going to be able to have a dinner without talking about our grief. That lasted about 45 minutes. It's okay. We still had a good time. We even had cocktails at a bar while waiting for our table to get ready at the restaurant. We treated ourselves to dessert. And the move "The Imitation Game" was amazing (even if it did make me cry). There were parts of the movie that reminded me of Nick. Then the kicker was that Alan Turing was found guilty of homosexuality and forced to take hormones to chemically castrate him and make him "ungay". Heart breaking (especially after yesterday's HB2 death in committee).
I am emotionally drained today. But I am pretty proud of myself. There are a few people on facebook that I really want to let lose on, and I am behaving myself. My emotions are high and there is not one bone in my body that can act reasonably... so I just choose not to act. *laugh*
Oh.. one more thing.....Today I was emailing Nick's boss at his lab at the college. We were talking about Nick's upcoming graduation and about his article. The publisher is binding the publication for us. I knew that they were going out of their way for us. But today I found out just how much they are charging the college for bound copies.. HOLY COW!!!! I would have had NO CLUE it could cost that much! I am very grateful for their compassion and kindness!
Here's to a new day tomorrow....hopefully the sun will shine and Omi and I will have a beautiful long walk tomorrow.
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