So about 2 weeks ago, I went in with Nate to get his eyes checked and had them check out my glasses since they seemed to not be right. I was correct. My prescription was incorrect. Today I went to pick up my new lenses and I'm walking around like I'm drunk. I actually almost puked from being so dizzy from the new glasses. I am suppose to wear them for a week or so to see how my eyes adjust. Oy! I really hope my eyes adjust and this is the right prescription. I have never had so many problems with a pair of glasses in my life.
I also picked up a letter from my mom's mortgage company. The letter sent me into a tail spin. It looked like the stuff I sent them to take care of her house wasn't received or something. Instead of freaking out, I gathered all of the paper work and made a phone call. The lady on the phone said everything is going well for the house wrap up and she doesn't know why I received that letter. *sigh* That was helpful. The house should be completely closed in the next couple of weeks. Yay!
I also picked up some dowels for my new Isis wings that did not come with the rods. I put the rods in and tried on my new Isis wings. I am so excited to choreograph my number with them. I do not have the mirrors big enough for this. LOL. I need a wall of mirrors to choreo and test this out! I also found the perfect song for the choreo and story I want to tell! I am sooooo freakin' excited. Yay for another burlesque routine..only this one is all my own creation. Can NOT wait!
I am also very grateful that Mom is living here in Idaho where I can keep an eye on her. We finally got her into Physical Therapy. The PT said it will take about 4 weeks to get her shoulders moving again. As soon as she has them moving again, we will get her back in the gym! Yay!
I even connected and cleared some space with a friend today and made plans with another friend for coffee later this week. I am getting back out there. I am trying to get life back on track...really I am.
All of this is great........then.... there... is.. Nate.
Nate is really struggling. REALLY struggling. His car is not working so he can't just up and go where ever he wants. Not to mention he has not job at the moment so no money for gas anyway. He has a job he is waiting to hear about orientation so he can start. He asked if he could use our car, but I told him "no" cause I thought Tracy was leaving. But then Tracy decided not to go and by the time that decision was made, Nate was already way too down in the dumps and just begging me to let him sleep. *sigh* I don't know how to help him. I see him hurting. I know he misses his brother so deeply. I tried to get him to go out and he tells me he has no one to hang out with. I asked him about his best friend Izzy and all he could say was, "I don't know." Nate spends all of his time in his bedroom. He rarely goes out. I don't know what to do or how to help him. My heart aches for him.
I don't know how to put my family back together again... or how to keep them holding on. I wish I could bring Nick back. I wish all of this was just a horrible night mare. I wish Nate's friends didn't live so far away. I wish a whole bunch of different things. Where's that genie and that magic lamp????
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