So I have been meaning to type this in a blog, but I always keep forgetting.
The night we were told about Nick's accident, we immediately got on the phone to get air plane tickets to Florida. I thought I had counted properly, but when Tracy got the confirmation emails, we realized we missed getting a ticket for Naomi. This has happened so many times over the last 3 months. I miscount how many people are in my family. The other day, I made dinner, and miscounted so badly, that I ended up eating a frozen dinner while the rest of my family ate what I had made.
I don't know if anyone has ever had this issue before. It seems odd to me. I don't know if it is because Nick hasn't live at home for years. I don't know if its because Suzy has moved in. I don't know if its a combination. I do know that the night we paid for air plane tickets. My thinking was, "I had 4 in my family (me, Nate, Omi and Tracy) and I had just lost a child so I only need 3 tickets." But I have 6 in my family (including Suzy). I do not know what was going on in my head. And the other night when I made dinner, I was like, "I have 5 in my family and one is gone so I have 4". But I have 5 living here. This happens all the time to me now. It's not because I forget people in my family. It's not because I don't count people as part of my family when they are not here. I just have a hard time counting now that Nick is gone. I'm sure it will get better and back to normal as time goes by, but for right now it is darn frustrating!
Okay.. now that I have gotten that said......
Yesterday morning started out brilliantly with the box of Nick's articles arriving. They must have came the day before but no one told me. I saw them when I came back from taking Omi to school. My hands shook as I opened the box. It was if I was holding the holy grail or something. Then his lab mates posted a video of the interview the lab did regarding Nick's research. It was amazing. But all I could think was, "If Nick had been alive, it would have been him talking instead of Samaneh (probably)." And then they ended with a dedication to Nick telling how he died. I bawled like a baby. I could not be any prouder of Nick.
The rest of my day was spent getting ready for Suzy's birthday which is Sunday. I had so much fun shopping for her!!!
We took the whole family out to steak and 'gitas last night to celebrate Nick's article and to kick off Suzy's birthday weekend. It was fun to see the kids laugh and the family to be together. Man I love my kids. Each one of them makes me proud in so many different ways. I know I talk about Nick alot in these blogs, but each one of my kids have something special!!!! Nate has this amazing talent of working with people. He has such a great attitude around people. He is creative and brilliant. I love to hear him singing and playing his guitar! Omi just got on the honor roll. She is smarter than all get out. And she has recently been stepping outside of her comfort zone to train for a 1/2 marathon. She is growing by leaps and bounds in confidence and strength. Suzy has such a deep soul. She is compassionate and strong. She is so freakin' funny. I love them all.
My life is blessed with an amazing family!!!
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