Dropped Omi Off and then Tracy off and then off to my mom's. I had made plans to go to her place to help her deal with some paper work.
Today at Mom's place, I finally felt like my brain was coming out of a fog. I was able to get so much done today. I think all of the dancing and concert going this week has helped. Laughter and music truly are the best medicine! Anyway, I managed to get mom's bills changed to her local bank and change the addresses from here to her new apartment. That was a huge deal. Now we just need to get her Social Security switched over. Whew!
We also spent a bit of time talking about grief and how people handle it differently. She handles grief so different from us. But I think each individual relationship requires a different kind of grief. You just never know how you are going to grieve from one death to the next. It was a good hear to hear talk with her. It was the first time we talked about Dad's death and how she handled it and why she handled it the way she did. It was a good talk.
Then it was off to lunch with Tracy. I love being able to have lunch with him. Today has been a good day with him. We have found time to reconnect and a special way.. we have needed that. Yay!
At lunch I decided I needed to go back to Crone's to pick up stuff to smudge the house. Yesterday, Suzy mentioned that she agreed that the energy in the house was feeling heavy and that it needed to be smudged. So I dropped Tracy off and drove to Crone's Cupboard. I knew this would be difficult on me. I was already kinda crying as I drove there. I pulled into the parking lot and felt like my legs were not going to be able to move. I got out of the car and felt my heart beating fast and heavy all at the same time. I walked in and Jeannine saw me and just said "Hi" like she didn't recognize me. That was okay. I wasn't sure if I could handle the immediate conversation about Nick. I knew they knew about him because I had told their daughter who was friends of a friend of mine. (not to mention the circles we all run in... they were bound to hear eventually.) Anyway, I was on a mission. I needed to get stuff for smudging and I felt like Nick had something he wanted me to pick up.
I came across some stones with "spirit animals" on them. I found 4 of them with dragons on them. Nick LOVES dragons. I also found one with a butterfly and one with a moose on it. I picked up all of these for the alter in the sweat lodge. While I was looking at them, I heard Jon and Jeannine talking to someone. I looked up as she came around the corner and it was Mearah, my belly dance mom and friend. She gave me a huge hug and I started to cry. Nick sent her there at the same time I was there.. to comfort me.. to be there for me.
I continued shopping and then I saw Wytomi (the man who is doing the sweat lodge for us)..the one who was part of Nick's teen years. I was JUST telling Mearah about him, and now he was there too. We shared a hug and he pointed me to some other things I needed for the smudging. Again, Nick made sure that I was surrounded by people who loved me...
It was Nick who was sending me to Crone's in the first place. Then he made sure that I had people there who would love and support me as the flood of memories of him running around that store came to mind. Finally, I checked out. Jon mentioned "I know how hard this time is for you." As I was leaving, Jeannine gave me a hug and I told her that Nick loved them. She started crying and saying how crushed she was. And just like that, Mearah stepped up and said something and I was back in her arms being supported and loved. I guess Nick knew that *I* needed the support and could not help other people grieve (like I have been doing for so many others).
Thanks, Nick, for keeping an eye on me!
I came home, swept the house from top to bottom and out the doors. I opened up all the windows and all the doors. I cranked up Olivia Newton John's Grace and Gratitude album to set the energy. "Gate Gate" (a Sanskrit mantra for clearing played while I saged the house). Once the house from top to bottom was saged, I lit some frankincense and blessed the house with "The Power of Now" playing....filling the house with positive energy and high vibrations. I blessed the house with lavender oil in every room. By the time I was done, the house felt amazing and peace and gratitude filled my heart.
Then it was off to walk with Omi. We had 11 miles schedule for this weeks training. We had to do it today after school. Let me just say, Meridian is not long distance training friendly. The major roads do not have side walks. Grrrrr. Thanks to severe pain in my body and Omi's body, we ended up catting our walk short by 1 1/2 miles. It was a VERY slow walk.. over a 19 minute mile. There was just too much pain during our walk today. By the time we got home, I could hardly move. Oy! Here is hoping we rest up and can move fast next week for our race!!!!
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