In case you didn't know; it is snowboard season here in Idaho. The snow really hasn't been the best, butt hat doesn't mean I don't miss snowboarding. I am grateful I got to go for Christmas with my family before I injured my back. But today, Tracy and Omi went with our friend and her kids to one of my favorite ski hills. Yes, I am jealous. I am not going to lie. I want to be out there shredding it up and laughing and having fun. Though, with that said, I am the one who encouraged him to call Tami to make the date cause I know he needed to go and he won't go by himself. So I'm glad he is out there having fun today.
An update on my back. I have been going to the gym and doing what I am allowed to do. I thought I was getting better. I am even sitting on the couch the way I used to without the help of extra pillows. So that is progress. I know most of you don't know this, but I had originally tried to see my favorite surgeon for this issue, but he was taking too long to review my records and get back to me. Instead, the surgeon that my primary care physician referred me to contacted me first. I liked him. He was cool enough. But a couple of days ago, my favorite surgeon called and said they can finally make an appointment. At this point I was not experiencing any real pain. I have not been on pain killers and I felt like I was on the upside of treatment. Tracy and I agreed that I did not need to see him (even for a second opinion); we would just wait another couple of weeks for my follow up with the current surgeon over seeing this issue. Then IT happened.... Tracy and I were making out like a couple of high schoolers. (We are prone to do that.) When all of a sudden, I felt that disc try to "pop out" for lack of a better word. It is the strangest feeling. It terrified me. Tracy didn't know what happened, but he knew something happened cause everything about me changed. Later, I explained and I was worried about my back.
The next morning, my back was a bit tender. I specifically walked around and did things in hopes of stretching it out and keeping it from getting bad. It hasn't gotten bad, but I can tell you that I do not feel the same kind of "peace" with my back that I had been feeling. And today I have a bit of pain. Nothing huge, but I know its there.
I have decided to make that appointment with my favorite surgeon. Not because I think the current surgeon (and I can't even remember his name) is blowing smoke up my arse. I just want some reassurances.
I know I should live in the present and not worry about the future. And I have been doing that. Until this incident with Tracy. Here is my concern. Yes, my back pain is next to nothing now. But what if I go back to the doctor on March 6th (which was scheduled for a follow up) and the pain is gone and the doctor says, "Well, you are cleared to get back to life. It looks like it cleared itself up." (which was the hope) Then I go back to life as previously lived and BAM I'm down again. I realize at that point, I would opt for surgery. And I realize that there is nothing I can do right now to change that outcome. But truthfully that is what I am worried about. That I have spent 2 whole months doing NOTHING or close to nothing and STILL end up with surgery when I could have just said, "give me surgery" 3 weeks ago and today be back to walking vigorously and a real training plain in progress.
Anyway, I made the appointment with my favorite surgeon to get his thoughts and I guess a second opinion. I feel a little silly using him for a 2nd opinion since I think he is pretty fantastic and I feel like I might be wasting his time a little bit and I know he is always so busy. But I would like to know what he thinks. I trust him with my life.
In the mean time, I am sitting on the couch while Tracy and Omi are out snowboarding, hooping and hollering it up. Nate is out moving mountains with his new job. And on my agenda for the day? Finish the first book in the Marry Poppins series and maybe start on the next one. I bought 3 books in the series, PL Travers Biography AND the 50th anniversary edition of the movie. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl (in case you didn't know that all ready). And ever since seeing Saving Mr Bank, I have had some questions about Mary Poppins (since I don't ever remember seeing it as a child and I certainly never read the books!) I am learning a great deal from reading the books! Who would have thought!
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