It has been a great week and a half. I have been happily busy. I've been dreaming and redecorating. I have also been dealing with a very cranky back, but the good news is I think I finally kicked the cranky back! Woohooo!!!
2 weekends ago, we opened up Belly Dance/Festival Season at Eagle Island Experience Festival. I was a bit nervous to dance at the festival. Our class dance was not coming together as we would like and the other 2 just won't stick in my brain. It seems as though I can only keep one dance in my brain at a time. I think its part of the head bonking but I also think grief has kind of wiped out some of my brain. I'm sure it will come back. Anyway, Omi and I went and we danced and we had a great time. My favorite part of all was watching the little girls in the audience try to keep up with the dancers that were "on stage". Then at the end, we did the open dance, and I had the pleasure of dancing with a 4 or 5 year old named Haiden. She was too adorable. She loved to dance. And we had so much fun together. We laughed and giggled and for a few minutes, I remembered what pure joy felt like. We should all dance like little children! Thank you for such a gift, little Haiden!
Then last weekend was Memorial Weekend. For most people that means a 3 day weekend. But Tracy worked all weekend. He has been so busy, and with him being so busy and not really being into dancing, I have decided that I am going to find a dance partner to take swing dance lessons with. I want to incorporate more kinds of dancing into my life... both for the dance experience to make me a better performer as well as more exercise! So last weekend over the long weekend, I met with 2 potential dance partners. One is a complete no go. The other, was very kind and will fit in with my group of friends when we all go out dancing.. and with Tracy for motorcycle rides. I also spent some time with our friend Mishi. It's always a pleasure hanging out with her and laughing. The family spent some time around the fire pit.. which seems to be our favorite place these days, and that is always fun. Nate's girlfriend, Tricia is spending more time over here and I enjoy getting to know her. I really do like having a house filled with "kids". I also took my mom on an adventure this last weekend. I took her to Shoshone Falls and Thousand Springs. We spent the day walking and admiring beautiful water falls. It was a very fun day!
Ohhh... I also went to ecstatic dance at Grace Place. I danced for 2 hours straight. This was an amazing experience on so many levels. But most importantly, Nick came to dance with me for 2 songs. We laughed and danced together. And I cried and laughed some more. It happened during one song by Madonna that was pretty profound something about "speak you truth and that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Then it was followed by a didgeridoo piece... Nick used to play a mean didg! That song, in that moment, was his gift to me....and I laughed and cried and danced to it remembering when he used to play. And remembering when he played it for the junior high talent show. He was very talented. It felt good to cry and laugh with him. It felt good to dance and just FEEL the music. Definitely something I would do again!
Today, however, I woke up feeling very introspective. What do I want to do with my life? What am I doing? I went for a walk around Eagle Island this morning just thinking.... is working out and getting healthy enough for me? What about my performing? I am born to perform. I have always loved performing. Ever since I was a little girl I loved church pageants. I loved taking dance. I loved being in choirs. I loved being in band. Then I grew up and went to the Storytelling Institute. I had big hopes when I graduated from there. When I moved here, I made pretty decent money as a part time teller. People around town even knew me as Martha the Storyteller. I would run into people on the street and they would recognize me. Now I am belly dancing and doing burlesque. I am longing to take voice lessons and different kinds of dance classes. I want to expand my performance tool chest. I even want to take improv. So...I am kind of thinking about going back to college for theater. Why? There isn't any money in it, and the idea of me having to memorize lines for a play drives me crazy. My memory is not so great. But I want to perform more and grow as a performer, and I would like get a degree in SOMETHING. *laugh* Maybe I will look into this some more.
The other thing I am feeling like I REALLY want to do is go on some backpacking adventures. I am really feeling pulled and called toward this. I do not have any equipment or know anything about doing that type of thing. My biggest fear is running out of water. And sleeping on the ground is always painful. *laugh* But I would love to go back packing. I feel like it would be a cleansing/healing activity. This is the way I felt when I took up trail running. I needed that challenge... that feeling of being out there on my own with noting but the mountains, sky, and wild life.
I just feel like adventure is calling my name.
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