A Quiet Walk With Nick Brings Resolution and Closure

It has been a wild ride for the last month.  The loss of Nick's wedding ring has been traumatic.  It wasn't the loss of the ring that was traumatic, but rather the insensitive way in which the hospital handled the situation.  Today, Nick told me to go for a walk through the Turkey Creek Sanctuary. He told me that I would get the phone call I was waiting for while I was there.  So I went to the sanctuary, and I saw his shadow walking beside me (there was no sun out.. and no one around me, but I saw a tall then shadow of a man right beside me on the board walk).  I felt his arm around me and he told me he loved me.  He brought back my playful side and helped me relax and laugh and be silly.

And sure enough, I got the phone call I had been waiting for.

From the very first visit to pick up Nick's belongings and we asked, "Where are the missing charms and wedding ring?" The answer SHOULD have been, "I do not know, but let me put you in touch with Rosina Jones our Risk Management Manager, and she will do a thorough investigation for you."  That is not what happened.  Instead that first day, we got "I don't know." and a lecture from the security officer about.. "this is why I do not let my kids ride motorcycles."  It snowballed from there.

Seeing my blog posts and facebook posts about the  missing wedding ring, a family member decided to intervene by getting an Investigative Reporter involved (without asking us for permission or even warning us to expect a phone call).  I was already following up through the proper channels (that i knew about) and my next step was to send emails up a higher set of people).  I was furious at the intrusion and violation of my privacy.  Dealing with an investigative reporter meant I would have to tell my story AGAIN, and every time I have to do that it is so freakin' painful.  But in the end, it was *MY* decision to work with the reporter. Why?  Because I thought I would only have to tell my story ONCE more and that "once more" would go straight to where it needed to go and BAM! I would have my answers.  That is not the way it worked.

Instead, I  had a barrage of calls from the hospital employees trying to cover their asses.  I had some complete lies told to me.  And there were some genuine misunderstandings and miscommunications (both on my part and the Risk Management Manager).  Each time I spoke to someone at the hospital, I got angrier and angrier. This anger was pretty damn scary, and truthfully, even though it was *my* decision to work with this reporter, every time I had to speak with the incompetent people at the hospital, my anger would be directed at not just the hospital but the family member who contacted the reporter.  I am working very hard to heal this anger, but right now....its a matter of unwinding something very tangled.

Anyway, after being interviewed by the reporter the day that we put up the memorial signs at the intersection where Nick was killed and speaking with Rosina Jones, the Risk Management Manager at the hospital, we have finally found peaceful resolution, and the fact that this happened because a reporter got involved at the request of a family member is not lost on me..but that is a different issue right now.

Nick (in his death) has found a way to teach and help me grow and help a whole hospital grow and learn to provide better more compassionate service.  Here is what is happening according to Rosina Jones.

1)  The entire hospital staff from phone operators to security to nurses will under go new sensitivity training.

2)  The Security staff will be retrained with new policies on how to handle "lost personal items".  Instead of reciting policy and pointing fingers or simply saying, "I don't know" or "Well his ring must have been cremated with him", they will now be able to say, "I am so sorry about this. I do not know the answer, but let me put you in contact with our Risk Management Manager and she will do a full investigation on this and get back to you with answers."  (Had this happened a month ago, this would have all been resolved in a day instead of a month later).

3)  The Florida Highway Patrol will also work with the hospital to find a more efficient way to get victim ID info to the hospital so that the family can be notified sooner and if the victim is a donor (such as Nick), they will be able to actually pursue this and make this desire a reality..instead of having a "John Doe" die on a table with organs now unusable and family not notified until HOURS later.   This would have also helped with the loss of personal items.

4)  And finally, Nick made sure that the Physics Department that he loved so much will be shown some more love.  No one knew this, but when I was given a tour of the lab that Nick worked in, I had wished there was a way to make a donation in his memory to the physics department.  A way to give back in his name.  But we were focused on making sure there was enough money to get Suzy home and Nick's services taken care of.  Well Rosina Jones, after apologizing profusely, offered to make a donation to the physics department in Nick's name with a memorial plaque.  This was Nick's doing.. his way of making sure my wishes were carried out....and making sure the people that he loved, the department that he loved was cared for.

So as horrible as all of this was... and handled in a fashion I would have never asked for... good things have happened or are happening or will be happening.  And for that I am grateful.

The TV piece will air sometime next week, and if it brings awareness to motorcycles and prompts the hospital to follow through with their promises... then all of this will have been for good.