February 1, 2016 Coloring Inside The Lines Is Over Rated

From the time I was a little girl, I never did do the expected.  I would take off my clothes and run around the neighborhood naked.  The boys would take off their shirts and play; I would, too.  I never understood why the boys got to run around topless but I didn't get to.  Whatever!  I also didn't like to color within the lines or color my people "flesh" colored.  I colored my people purple, and the teacher and the students gave me flack.  "You can't color your people purple.  People aren't purple!"  Never mind the fact that the ONLY color we ever painted people was "nude" or that "white people color".  NEVER were our people brown or black or anything that was different than the white upper middle class people I shared a neighborhood with.  Talk about stifling diversity and creativity!

I just didn't fit in.  And that is okay.  It may have hurt as a kid, but as an adult (who still doesn't fit the social norm) I think I am pretty damn rad!  *laugh*

So today as I was coloring in my Sacred Geometry Coloring Journal, I colored this picture:

As I colored the first pink outside circle, it dawned on me that maybe the person who created this geometric pattern, wanted the parts that had lines in it to be painted different colors.  But instead, I colored the entire circle pink.  I also decided to keep with that theme in the rest of my circles.  I had to laugh at myself.  "Even though I am coloring within the lines, I still don't think I am coloring this correctly."  Look at what society has banged into our heads.  There is some sort of standard that we must live within.  We must fit in this pre-determined box.  We must act within a certain social norm.  We must color with the right colors.  And God forbid you let a toe hang out of that box, or yourlaugh a little too loudly, or you use the full spectrum of colors, not just primary colors!  

Instead of letting our creativity flow, we squash it.  We tell ourselves, "No.  No one will want to listen to that.  No one will want to see that.  No one will understand that."  We allow anxiety to creep in and we worry, "What will other people think?"  "Maybe it's not good enough."  

As I am typing this, I am thinking of my burlesque brother who just posted on facebook that he is feeling anxiety about a piece he is putting together.  I gave him a virtual hug and told him I believe in him (well in different words).  At the time I read his post, this blog had not even entered my mind.  Yet, here I am typing about this very subject, all because I colored that entire circle pink!

What if, instead of letting anxiety creep in, what if instead of letting self-doubt and our biggest critic have a say so, we just let art happen.  What if we accept our creative side and we follow that whimsy?!  What if, we say, "YES!!!!!"   We spend entirely too much time sitting on the edge "hmmmmings" an "hawwwing" wondering "what if" and worrying about the result of a *possibly* wrong decision.   We spend too little time LIVING and taking chances.  We spend too little time opening the window of opportunity and catching the gusts of wind that take us flying and laughing to places we have yet to discover and explore within ourselves or even outside of ourselves.  We play it safe.  We don't even move outside of our state much less our home towns.  Some people don't even travel outside of the state they were born in.  They are missing out!

Today, I spent this morning on the computer creating an email account and a YouTube Channel for my performer persona Leazetta Rose.  I made the decision to catch the gust of wind and laugh all the way while I fly through this adventure called "showgirl".  I am reopening the window to storytelling.  I am following my bliss with my dancing feet.  I am creating opportunities and saying YES!

Being authentic (to me) means living my life out loud and never looking back with regrets.  I am not going to be that scared little girl who got admonished for coloring my people purple.  Instead of I am gonna be the ballsy 9 year old who stood up to her bullies to prove she didn't stuff her bra (yes, I kept my clothes on that time).  

Remember, the person who created that geometric shape, may have had their own opinions about how it should have been colored, but I am the one who had the pen in my hands, and I get to create my life (color that picture) the way I see fit.  Why?  Because I am responsible for my own destiny and choices.  No one else gets to tell me how to live my life.  What about you?  Are you gonna catch that wind and ride with me?????