We had a crazy weekend and the days keep flying by. While I am ecstatic that the weekend was so fun (compared to last weekend's break up drama), I am not thrilled that the days keep passing and the 10th is approaching.
First let me say, that the weekend was a total blast. It has been a very long time since I have seen Naomi act like a typical teenager. After Naomi started dating Kasey, her anxiety started to get more intense. She would never admit to that, but as her parents we saw a shift in her (after the initial "honey moon period" wore off). I'm not saying it is Kasey's fault; it's more of an observation. Then when Nick was killed, Naomi's emotional state really took a turn. Anyway, it has just been a very long time since she has acted like a typical teenager. The only teenagers she saw (other than Kasey) was her best friend Kenzy and just before school started, she saw Caleb. Other than that, Naomi did not socialize outside of school. This past weekend was a far cry from that.
Friday night she had a group of her friends join her at a Haunted Woods for some Halloween fun. It was Naomi, Lyssa, Cody, Carter and Deklin. We dropped Omi and Lyssa off to meet the other kids and Tracy and I took off on a date night for Sushi and 80's arcade games.
Tracy and I had a blast playing games of our childhood. It brought back memories of hanging out Bunky's doughnuts and playing arcade games while we waited to be picked up. We giggled and laughed and gave each other some competition. It was so fun just to act like kids again.
We finished our $10 in quarters just in time to head out to pick up the kids by closing time at 11:00 pm. When we pulled into the parking lot, it looked pretty deserted but the kids were no where in sight. We waited for a bit until we saw a line of five teenagers coming out, and it looked as if Naomi was holding hands with one of the boys! Oy Vay! She was holding hands with Deklin, a boy she has known since junior high. He used to walk her home from school. I am glad they are hanging out and talking again. But more importantly, ALL of the kids were giggling and laughing. I got out of the car to take a picture of all of them, and we met Deklin's grand dad who had come to pick up Deklin and Carter. It was nice to visit with him for a bit. Then we all piled in our cars to drive home. We were taking Cody and Lyssa home. All the way home, the kids very animatedly talked and giggled about their night. I was grinning from ear to ear.
Saturday, we woke up early to go meet the Ford Excursion guy. We had decided to buy it. She is a beast! That is her name. The Beast. Then it was off to breakfast where Naomi continued to talk our ears off. She was planning an evening with her friends that night. But first, she had horse riding lessons.
We arrived at the ranch and Naomi got to have a group lesson with the other two teenagers who lease with Jami (the trainer). All three of the girls rode circles in the arena following Jami's commands. They even got to switch horses with each other which meant Naomi got to ride the big draft horse, Belle. By the time we were done at the ranch, Naomi was grinning ear to ear. When lessons were over, we hurried home because Omi's friends were expected around 3:00 pm.
By 4:00 the house was filled with the laughter of four teenagers. Deklin, Carter and Lyssa had all arrived and they were hanging out upstairs watching a Supernatural marathon. Tracy and I relaxed down stairs watching movies. We ordered pizza and ate before Trick or Treaters started to arrive. Then I sat outside with Suzy while little kids dressed in their Halloween finest came begging for candy. And by 9:30 pm, all of the extra teenagers were gone for the night; the trick or treaters were done, and my house was quiet. Wow! But it wasn't an eerie or sad quiet, it was the quiet you get from being satiated and happy. Bliss.
Sunday morning came bright and early (well sort of). Omi and I were up by 9am. We were heading out to Birk Arena for a horse play date. Omi got to participate in her first play date and compete in a fun barrel race. She has never even seen it in person much less ridden the patterns herself. She was a complete newbie, and she did great. She wasn't competitive by any means, but she was riding a horse she had never ridden before that day and stepping outside of her comfort zone. It was a HUGE deal! I was very proud of her!
We had to cut the play date short, because Omi is very busy and had a huge Physics project to do (with Tracy's help). She had to build a catapult. Tracy and Omi spent the afternoon/evening playing with that. It was fun to watch them get the power saws out and build stuff together.
I spent the evening at a writer's dinner, which was something completely new and out of my comfort zone. Thank god one of my friends showed up. We had fun catching up, an I left feeling inspired.
But the real meat of this blog came today. I feel like the days just keep ticking on by. We keep getting closer to November 10th, and I would really like to not get to that date.
Suzy drove me to brain therapy today and we talked a bit about how we have been feeling. We both just want the 10th not to come. We both feel like we can be doing perfectly well one day and then BAM we are hit with grief. Right now we are doing great, but what if the 10h comes an we are shattered. Or worse, what if the 10h comes and we aren't. We are suppose to be sad, aren't we? But right now, we are actually doing pretty well an we are pretty happy. Is it okay to be happy? Suzy said, "Nick would want us to be happy. He and I talked about this before he died." (That was news to me.) She said, "These are important conversations to have with the people you love. What do you want done with your body in case you die? What would you want for your family?" All of that is important. And I agree. Tracy and I have had that conversation before. And, yes, Nick would want us to be happy, and we are.
Though I did tell Suzy that I still find it odd to see pictures of her with another family (her boyfriends family). I see her in the back seat of a car with Tom kissing her cheek and his little sister, Lyssa on the other side and I think, "That should be Nick kissing her cheek and Omi on her other side." It hurts. It stings. But she is happy and that is what we all want. It's just odd.
We also talked about funeral homes not offering multiple (personal) viles or urns with loved one's ashes. When they cremated Nick, they only offered us one Urn. But what if multiple family members want their own "piece" of the loved one? It was an interesting conversation, and we are going to do some research and see what we can do. I just always thought that at some point, we would scatter his ashes and not keep them. But it might be kind of nice to have something like a blown glass art piece that incorporated his ashes. (Yes, that's a real thing.)
We also talked about what we wanted to do on the 10th. She too, has contemplated going back to Florida to visit the corner of Eber and Dairy where Nick was killed. I thought it was just me and that I was weird. But nope. Suzy had been thinking it too. But I think we are going to go bowling and have a fire pit and burgers that night.
One thing is for certain, Suzy and I loved Nick very much. I'm glad that she and I can talk about this stuff together and share our memories of him. I'm glad we can share her new love interest and be happy about that together. I'm glad that as a family, we seem to be doing well. But I really would like he calendar to stop flipping so that the 10th doesn't actually come.
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