No Big Revealing Secrets Today....

Just back to lacing up my running shoes!

After a 5 week break from running, I needed to get back to it!  I have missed it!  My emotional state has really missed it!  Bronchitis took me out originally, then an emotional roller coaster took all of my energy then it got really really cold (like in the negatives) and snowed!  It's been a crazy 5 weeks, I tell ya.  And to be totally honest, I am not thrilled with running out in the snow. If it is fresh snow, that is great, but the melted snow that has been refrozen scares me.  I am terrified of falling and hitting my head again this year.  I still have bouts of TBI related issues.  My head is super sensitive still.  I couldn't find my Yak Trax so going out in the ice did not sound like my idea of fun.  But today I HAD to get back to it.  There are only 15 weeks till the 100 mile race I want to do in March.  I need to get back on my feet.

So today, with the fog still lingering and the cold and the snow still on the ground, I headed out to run along the irrigation canal.  The snow was still soft and there was no ice so I felt pretty safe.  Today's run called for 6 miles.  The first 15 minutes was PAINFUL!  Even with gloves on my fingers, they felt like they were going to turn blue.  Finally, my body warmed up and my fingers were allowed to warm up and I was fine.  Running along the canal in the fog was a bit eerie.  I couldn't see more than 50 feet in front of me (if that far).  The trees and bushes were covered in ice crystals that were just gorgeous.  And it didn't take long for ice crystals to form on what strands of hair were peaking out of my warm head gear.

I ran 6 miles with a 14:12 pace.  It's not the fastest I have ever run, but it certainly wasn't the slowest.  This was  a totally flat run, which is what the 100 miles will be.  I miss the mountain trails, but with the 100 miles being flat, I need to train for those.  I need to be able to run with my own two feet propelling me (not gravity going downhill).

I'm certain I had some pretty profound thoughts today, but for the life of me, I can't remember what they were.  I do know that it felt great to be out running again.  I feel like I have spent the last 5 weeks doing alot of crying and pulling my hair out and really just feeling like I was going no where.  I had sat still for so long, I almost completely gave up on my dreams and goals.  I was ready to sit still and become a couch potato again, and that is NOT good.  I'm glad I got myself out there today!!!  And this is the song that played today that made me smile and made me remember what I am doing.. and where I am going....

No matter what happened in the last 5 weeks, I need to stay focused.  Life will always provide little road blocks and challenges to test me to see just how much I want something.  Well I WANT THIS!!!  I want the 100 miler belt buckle!  I want to say that I have done something that seems so dang impossible!

What is it that you hunger for?  What drives you?  And what are yo doing to get it????  Never give up!!!  It's yours!!!

Wanna Know a Secret?

Okay, this might not be a secret to some, but it certainly has never been said publicly!  And before, you read any further, this blog post could be considered one of an adult nature (nothing graphic, and nothing I would not share with my  kids, but well...just giving you a heads up..cause that's just the caring writer that I am.)

So here's my "big secret".  I have a strong desire to be a burlesque performer.  Please realize, I did not say, stripper at the local topless/bikini/nude bar (not that there is anything wrong with that, but there are people who do not understand the difference).  I said BURLESQUE!!!!

Just in case you need a definition of what burlesque is (I run into quite a few people who have no clue what it is), here is your definition thanks to dictionary.com:

bur-lesque [ber-lesk] noun, adjective, verb, bur-lesqued, bur-lesquing.
noun
1.  an artistic composition, especially literary or dramatic, that, for the sake of laughter, vulgarizes lofty material or treats ordinary material with mock dignity.
2.  any ludicrous parody or grotesque caricature.
3.  Also, bur-lesk.  a humorous and provocative stage show featuring slapstick humor, comic skits, bawdy songs, striptease acts, and a scantily clad female chorus.
adjective
4.  involving ludicrous or mocking treatment of a solemn subject.
5.  of, pertaining to, or like stage-show burlesque.

The traditional art of Burlesque is quite beautiful and amazing.  Yes, there is stripping (*often*) but it is not for the sheer purpose of someones sexual gratification and there are not actual nipples shown.  Yes, there are people who will look at the performers as sexual beings and some may even objectify the performers.  But that is not what the performance is about.  Some of the performances don't even have stripping in them; they are strictly singing and sexy without stripping; or they can be complete comedy acts.  This is a performance art.. plain and simple.  Beyond the performance art, there is something else so special about it.

So I am writing from my perspective, and my perspective only, and I am explaining the reason I am drawn to this art form.  My reasoning is much like that of belly dancing, only maybe taken a little bit further.  As a little girl I was always drawn to the belly dancers.  My mom told me I couldn't watch it cause it was too sexual.  But the art of belly dancing was never created and intended to be a sexual dance.  It was created for sisters to dance and celebrate each other (not to entice or seduce men).  But as the ages came and went, the art did become sexualized.  When I dance with my daughter and the rest of our sisters, we dance to celebrate the divine feminine in all of us.  We dance to celebrate our unique bodies and capabilities.  We dance to celebrate life and beauty in all of its forms.  We celebrate each woman's body as beautiful..in every shape and size.  Women are celebrated.  Plain and simple.  It is an empowering art form for women.  That is the way I look at burlesque, only taken up a notch.

To me, Burlesque is about celebrating my body, gifts and talents.  I have spent so much of my life being ashamed of my body.  I have always had curves.  I have never been traditionally skinny.  Even at 12 years old, I was wearing a size 13 with measurements of 36/24/36.  I used to brag about that.  I had the perfect hour glass figure!  I was bigger than my friends and I felt fat, but those measurements kind of kept me sane and helped me hold together what little self-esteem I had.  I have gone from that size to wearing size 24 clothing and now back down to a size 10/12.  My measurements are bigger than what they were when I was 13 years old.  *laugh*  Not by much.  I haven't taken them in a while, but rest assured I have curves.  More importantly, I have worked hard for the body that I have now.  Belly dancing has helped me really come to LOVE my body and all of its curves. And I LOVE to dance!  I also love to flirt.  I love to perform.  I love to tease.  These are things I have always loved.  I love the full expression of life..which includes celebrating this body that I was given.  It also includes being a sexual being and embracing and celebrating that in healthy ways.

I have learned a great deal about myself in the last couple of years. I have learned that my kind of sexy is not the slinky sultry seductress...its quirky and silly!  I am good with that.

To be totally honest, before I bonked my head, there was an open audition for a new burlesque troupe in town and I was choreographing something for it.  Then I bonked my head.  *sigh*  I also wonder what my niche would be in this beautiful artistic community.  What could I provide that others may not be providing?  I would love to be able to sing. (I think I need some voice lessons first.)  I know I can dance, but there is already an amazing belly dancer who performs out in the burlesque world.....though what I do and what she does are completely different.  I wonder if I could morph my belly dancing into something silly and quirky to fit into the burlesque world...then I wonder if by doing that if I will hurt the image/purity of belly dancing.  I have often considered doing something on roller skates...since I love to dance on my roller skates and NO ONE in this burlesque community is doing that.  *laugh*  Then I wonder if there is a way to do my storytelling in the burlesque world.

Here is what I DO know...This is my dream and desire.  And as much as I *thought* it was my dream, last Sunday night while we were at a burlesque show,  I realized just how much I truly wanted this.  Frankly Frankie (the hostess), had the audience stand up and "wiggle".  Little did we know that they were going to pick "wigglers" from the audience to come up on stage. And little did those "wigglers" know that they would be in a "wiggle contest".  Well we were sitting right up front center stage.  I started to wiggle/dance. I was wearing a deep v-neck cardigan with a cami-bra under neath.  The bra was showing like any cami would and unless you knew it was a bra, you would have no clue. That is what this bra was created for.  To be shown under neath something that was deep cut.  It was "modest" in the sense that cleavage was showing, but not a whole heck of alot.  It was certainly more modest than some of the belly dance costumes we wear. *laugh*  Anyway, as we were doing this wiggle, I undid my sweater.  It just seemed like the natural thing to do and I danced.  I wasn't thinking about it.  I just did it.  And the next thing I knew, I was being called up on stage.  I'm not afraid of being up on stage or the spot light. So up I went. Then I was joined by several others.  We still had no clue what was happening other than we were up there.

These two pictures below show the actual top and cami-bra I was wearing that night....though these are old pictures and from a different date night.




This picture was taken that night of the show as we waited for it to start.

Then we were told we were in a "wiggle contest". (Basically it was a dance contest..whoever got the most cheers wins.)  I didn't care.  I was just having fun.  The first woman up was wearing this tight black slinky dress.  She was drop dead gorgeous with a slammin' body.  Then there were some men who went up.  Then some other women (my age or a bit older) who went; they went all out and danced their tushies off. It was so much fun to see!  Then it was my turn.  And the belly dance diva in me came out.  I did my diva walk to front center stage and started dancing. Now its important to know the song that was playing....."I'm sexy and I know it".  If any of you know me.. you KNOW how much I LOVE that song!  It was my favorite training song while I was training for the Honolulu Marathon.  So there I was up front, center stage, with my sweater still undone...cami-bra ON and my jeans.  I was up there shimmying and dancing.  People were watching me.  People were hooping and hollering.  There were people I knew out in the audience (besides my husband and our friend that came with us).  One of my old Bogus Basin supervisors was in the audience at some point that night....at least in the beginning he was.  I didn't care. I just danced.  And then I found myself taking my sweater off.  Cami bra stayed firmly in place. But I danced like no one was watching..even though there were at least 100 people watching.  *laugh*  Frankie was doing her thing, introducing me and saying whatever it is she was saying.  I wasn't really listening.  My time was up and I went back to my place in line.  It was so much fun!

Then it came time to "vote".  Juniper Rose (one of the other amazing performers) stood behind each of us as the audience voted by cheers and claps. First was the lady in the black dress. She was gorgeous.  Certainly she would win.  The audience cheered loudly.  Then the men, who always get a good response cause they are such great sports.  Then the two other women who went just before me.  The audience cheered...*I* cheered.  I was genuinely so happy to be up on this stage with such brave and fun people who wanted nothing more than to celebrate the life they have been given....who didn't want to take life so damned seriously...and just wanted to smile and have fun.  Then Juniper Rose came to me.  She placed her hand over my head.  Frankly Frankie said something, but all I heard was the roar of the crowd and the applause (Insert Lady Gaga's song "Applause" here).  I was declared the winner.  ME???!!!!!  ME!!!!!!!  A woman with curves. A woman who's stomach was bare to these 100 people. A woman with stretch marks and cellulite. A woman with extra skin from weight loss from being morbidly obese.  A woman who celebrates her life and her body and completely owns it and is present in it..or at least I was in that moment up there on stage.  It was right. It was beautiful.  It was one of the most empowering moments of my life!  And it was a confirmation.....this is what I want.

I am a performer.  I have always been a performer.  It is where I am comfortable.  And I love learning this about myself.  Now where to go from here?????  Ya, I don't know.  I am still going to belly dance. And in the beginning of the year, I will begin taking burlesque classes with Frankly Frankie.  And we will go from there!

LOL.  I love my life!  I love that there are so many facets and things about me that make me who I am. I love that I can run through the hills and get dirty and sweaty and grimy and then come home and get cleaned up and get sparkly and pretty to dance for an audience or get dressed up in regular street clothes to tell stories to a packed room.  I love my deep side that loves old English writers and spiritual teachings.  I love my silly side that plays tag with my dog or dances around the room with him.    I love the nerd side of me that likes super hero movies.  I love the mom side of me that loves to hang out with her kids, play games, cooking, doing arts and crafts, snowboarding and just being a mom.  I love the wife side of me who loves to spend time with her best friend and lover doing silly things or romantic things or just nothing at all.  It's all of these things that make me who I am and I love who I am :).

Do You Know Who You Are And What You Want?

So do you?  And how do you define yourself?  How do you really know who you are?  Does it change depending on who you are around or is there a core sense of who you are that doesn't change?  Is there a particular person in your life that really shakes you and makes you think twice about who you are?  Are you swayed easily?  Are you a people pleaser and find yourself changing certain things to make other people happy..or wishing you were someone else or like someone else to make someone happy?

I think at some point in our lives, we have all felt like this.

One lesson I have been taught (and that I try very  hard to remember in my moments of doubt and frustration) is that people come into our lives for a reason.  They are here to teach us something or vise versa.  I have also been told that people are just mirrors of us.  So if something about that person irritates us, they are just reflecting a part of us that irritates us.  So when people come into my life and things get stirred up, I try very hard to remember this and ask myself, "What is it about them that reflects a part of me that I am  not happy with?"  But what if we can't find the answer?

What if we look at that person and all we see is stuff that seems positive from the outside and stuff you generally like and do anyway, yet that person still gets under your skin?  Is it a matter of learning acceptance?

Generally people say, if that person really affects you negatively, then let go of them.  But what if the situation is such that you can't?  What if it is more complicated than that?  What if you have let them go and yet they keep coming back..obviously for a reason... a lesson you haven't learned yet and you need to learn it.  So how do you do that?  For that matter, how do you figure out what you are suppose to learn so that you CAN learn it?

I'm the kind of person who is open to learning these lessons.  I *want* to learn.  I *want* to accept.  I have a true desire to see the beauty in all things and in all opportunities.  But I'm not gonna lie, it can be down right painful and frustrating!

As women we are brought up in such a culture that teaches us that everything is a competition between women.  Heck, even men are taught that competition is everything (just look at the love affair with competitive sports).  Yet in my spiritual and business practice, I have learned that there is no such thing as competition.  There is enough for everyone.  But the basic core of what I was taught as a child..."You gotta think, act, look a certain way in order to be accepted by boys, peers, teachers......."  You gotta be smarter.  You gotta be prettier.  Your smile needs to be brighter and whiter.  And if you are not, and someone else is chosen by the boy of your dreams, the job you are applying for, your best friend....you are heart broken and feel as though you are not enough.  And what happens when that competition is just inside of you.  You compete against yourself to get stronger, faster, better and you struggle to meet those goals and again you don't feel "good enough".

I'm not going to lie.  This is something I have been dealing with (on several different levels) for a little while now. I have all of these amazing things that people would die for in my life.  I have much to be grateful for.  So some would say this feeling of "not enough" or "not good enough" is based on lack of gratitude for what I do have.    Some would say it is based on jealousy which comes from insecurity.  Some would say, "Martha, for Pete's sake, go for a run, you will feel better!" (Which is probably the real truth in all of it...but I'm sick and I can't.  So here I sit with diarrhea of the mouth. *laugh*)

The other day I took a personality quiz based on some Jungian thoughts.  It compares your personality to that of an animal (based on a test you took).  Mine compared me to a dog: "ENFJs are social butterflies who are cheerleaders and supporters of a wide variety of friends and acquaintances.  They hate bullying and they love to greet their loved ones with a face lick and a tail wag.  They feel good when the people around them feel good, and they tend to adapt to the group that they are in very quickly, even adopting the values of whoever they are surrounded by.  They are loyal and expect loyalty from others--think of them as the living embodiment of a 'team player.'"  The letters ENFJ basically means I am an extrovert that relies on intuition for information and uses my feelings/emotions/empath while making decisions and in my life I would like things to be set and decided rather than flowing.

You can find this test here.

Anyway, this got me thinking.  Am I really swayed by those around me?  Am I really not as open to the flow of life as I would like to think I am?    I do know that I love being around people.  I love cheering people on and helping them reach their goals.  And honestly, nothing makes me happier than hearing about someone reaching their goals (no matter what those goals are).  I am a very loyal friend and I do expect my friends to be loyal to me, and when they are not, I will walk away.

I know that I tend to be a people pleaser.  And I do want others to be happy.  So I guess I can be swayed by the people around me in order for them to be happy (sometimes even to my detriment).  So where is that fine line?  Like a dog, who adores its master, I will do just about anything to make the person I love happy cause all I want in return is to be loved by that person.  And like a dog, I thrive on the positive feedback of the people around me.  And like a dog, if I feel as though I am not getting that positive feed back or if I am feeling threatened or neglected, I will act out.  *laugh*

Every day this life teaches us something about ourselves.  And I really try to be open to the teachable moments, even if they are painful.  It's vitally important that we become honest with ourselves; this is the only way we can heal and grow and become better.  And for those of us holding on to extra baggage known as weight, this is the only way we can truly let go of it for good.

So what do I know about myself?  I know that in general I live a life of gratitude and happiness.  I am stronger than I think I am.  I am beautiful on the inside and out.  I am creative.  I am passionate.  I am compassionate.  I am talented.  I am a loving and caring individual.  I am empathetic.  I'm intelligent and intuitive.  I love people.  I love being around people.  I am loyal to a fault.  I love quickly and deeply.  I'm stubborn and I want people to see things my way and I like things a certain way. I like predictability.  I like labels cause they put things in order.  I like to know what is expected of me and I like people to know what I expect of them.    I love communication and lack there of scares the hell out of me.  When I recognize a fear of mine, I really do try to face it head on.  I do not let people tell me what I can and can't do.  If you tell me that something is impossible, I am likely to do it just to prove you wrong.  So go ahead, dare me!  I love adventure.  I love being active.  I love nature and playing in nature.  I would totally live my life on a nudist beach or in a nudist colony if I thought the rest of the world would not think twice about it (that includes my entire family).  I love music and dancing.  I'm a hugger...dogs lick and wag tails, I hug!  I'm touchy feely.  I'm a hopeless romantic.  I am deeply sensitive.  I love to  laugh.  I love to grow, even if the process is painful.  I love a good challenge.  Unfortunately, I still long for the approval of others and how I feel about myself sometimes depends on how others treat me or how I *THINK* they feel about me (I'm working on that).  I'm pretty liberal in the way I view relationships and life.  However, I can also be very old-fashioned.  (What can I say, I'm a conundrum.)

Here's to continual growth, learning and awareness.....yours and mine :)

Big Goals Require Even Greater Gratitude

Last Friday, I went on my long slow training run that was scheduled for 24 miles.  From start to finish, it ended up at 24.75 miles.  

Why so  many miles?  Well, I had a change of plan.  I had originally decided to train for a 50 mile race in March.  Then while talking to another running friend on Facebook about the possibility of her doing 100 miles during the same race I had planned on doing 50, my interest was peaked.  What *if* I could do a 100 miler instead of a 50 miler?  I have not registered for the race yet.  And honestly, the idea of jumping from a 50K to a 50 miler was a little scary, and the idea of jumping from a 50K to 100 miles is deathly scary!  So I decided to look up training plans for a 100 mile race.  My plan?  Train as if I am going to do the 100 miles and when I get closer to race time, check in with my body and make the decision then.  The goal is to push myself, not to injure myself.  Train smart, race smarter!  But it's still scary!

The first 10 miles of my training run were gorgeous and I was feeling so incredibly strong!  I was very happy to be out there running and enjoy my day out in nature.  My knee that has been speaking to me, was not speaking to me while I ran.  My body was feeling great!  By mile 14 or so, my back was beginning to hurt.  My legs were beginning to cramp up.  I was getting tired, and in that moment, I had this huge fear.....

"Going from a marathon of 26.2 miles to a 50K of 31/32 miles is 'easy'.  I  mean its only another 5 or 6 miles.  But the training plans for a 50 mile race have my longest training run at 30 miles.  There is a HUGE jump from 30 miles to 50 miles!  How is my body going to handle that?  Then I *think* I want to do 100 miles?  My longest training run for my 100 mile training plan is 30 miles.  It's an even bigger jump from 30 miles to 100 miles!  I am crazy!  I am never going to be able to do this!  Even with back to back long run training days, training my legs to run on tired legs, HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS????  This seems impossible!  How do people do this?  I'm crazy to even *think* I can do this!"

Then, in that moment of serious doubt, depression, fear, my iPod decided to play one of my favorite songs from a punk rock band called Set It Off. I know the young men in this band; they stayed at my house one day.  I have seen them twice in concert.  They are amazing.  And their song "Dream Catcher" played in just the right moment.  (Please take a moment to listen to it, it truly is a magnificent song.)

My iPod must have known exactly what I needed.  Of course, it followed this song with another very inspirational song about following your dreams.  (I have a bunch of those.)  Anyway, I was able to keep pushing through the pain, or what I thought was pain.  Even my knee decided to talk to me a bit, and I just said, "Yes, I hear you and we are stronger than we think we are so let's just keep going."  And I finished my 24.75 miles.  I won't lie.  I was disappointed in my time, in some regards, but not in others.  I want to increase my marathon finishing time to 6 hours.  But the 100 mile race I would like to finish with a 20 min/mile pace.  Those are two very different goals and training for those are two very different things.  I need to remember that.  But most of all, I need to be very grateful for my body and the ability to do ANY of this.

Then today, I went back to church for the first time in very long time.  Since this is November, of course the message was on gratitude.  It really hit home for me when it comes to training for my races and what I was feeling in the dark moment of my long run last Friday.  It also spoke to some stuff that Tracy and I went through this week in our relationship.  I wanted to take a moment to share these thoughts with you.

Rev. Jackie mentioned a TED talk about Gratitude done by a monk (I think); I do not remember his name.  But there were 3 steps in which he mentioned how you could change your life through gratitude....even in the midst of pain. (Let's face it, it's really easy to be grateful when life is fantastic, but it is something completely different to feel genuine gratitude in the midst of a very challenging time.

1)  Recognize the gift (opportunity) that is being given to you.  (Yes, even if it feels as though it is coming in the form of some kind of pain.

2)  Acknowledge the gift. This is not always easy, especially in the midst of pain.  In order to acknowledge it, we need to step outside of ourselves (as an act of will) to be able to see things from a different perspective.

3)  Welcome the gift.  Open your arms wide and accept it.  Be receptive with your whole heart.  You need to be wide open and vulnerable.  Being grateful does not protect us from pain but it will make us stronger so that we can deal with the pain.  We will feel all of the pain, but we will also feel so much more gratitude!

So in the midst of the dark part of my training where I doubted everything.  I heard the voices of people I know who say, "Maybe you should stick to the 50 miler; that's big enough isn't it.  I don't think you are ready for 100 miles." When my body hurt and it started to believe that I am smaller and weaker than I truly am,  I had the song come on to remind me to step outside of myself and what I was feeling in that moment and look at where I have come from.  Take note of how strong I truly am.  This life, my running, is a gift and an opportunity for me to grow not just in physical strength but in every area of my life.  Not every one gets this opportunity, and who am I to squander it by believing I am smaller than I am...by believing that I am a limited being.   Everything is possible!  Infinite possibilities reside in this body and I am grateful and open to them all!

This week while Tracy and I were going through some stuff that brought up memories from a particularly difficult time in our marriage, for the very first time, I was able to stop and look outside of myself and look at things from a different perspective.  Then I was able to look on from a place of compassion and gratitude.  It was an amazing experience.  Then when Rev. Jackie spoke today, she spoke about the exact steps that I went through in order to change things around, and I wanted to share them with you.....

1)  Stop..... pay attention to what is going on.  Pay attention to what you are feeling.

2)  Look.....at it and open your hearts for the opportunity to work with and through you.

3) Go....Live your lives and take the opportunities that life gives you!  You must do it and enjoy it even if it is a bit difficult.

Sometimes the memory of a painful moment is the opportunity to learn something and to be grateful.  Sometimes it's the opportunity to practice compassion.  Sometimes it's an opportunity to learn that you are much stronger than you believe you are!  Don't let those opportunities pass you by!  Grab them with all of your strength and live your life to the fullest with a heart full of gratitude and keep moving forward!  This is the way to change your life.  This is the way to change the world.  This is the way to finish a 100 mile race...even when your longest training run is only 30 miles!!!

Set It Off- Dream Catcher (Acoustic)

http://www.youtube.com/v/gx-2n4SHepc?version=3&autohide=1&feature=share&showinfo=1&autohide=1&attribution_tag=KaLr4rz8A_4lS-jsDHeSSQ&autoplay=1

Slow Down.......

Yes, I know that is something you don't usually hear from a runner, especially one who is trying to get her speed up.

This morning was quite the morning!  You know what they say about the best laid plans.....

I had a plan.  Take Tracy to work then go run 6 miles along the unpaved section of the Greenbelt off of Eagle Rd then head home to shower/change before heading to my Weight Watchers meeting.   Just as we were about to leave the house, Tracy started getting emergency texts from work.  This required that we hang out at home while he fixed some issues at work before we even left the house.  This put me an hour behind my schedule.   Just in case I ran out of time,  I went and grabbed an extra shirt and extra jacket to change into for my meeting.   Finally, we were able to leave, but I saw the time.  I'm very glad I grabbed the extra clothes!

On my training schedule, today was 6 miles on flats with my 5:1 timing.  I had just killed my legs last night in a tough 5 mile run so my body was not very happy about today's running.  It was a hard day today.  I was beginning to get discouraged, but then I just had to chalk the day up to a slow running day and not quitting (even though I had all these excuses...like getting to my meeting on time...to quit.)  Instead, I just kept plugging along. I needed to get my 6 miles in, regardless of time.  So I just switched my attitude and kept on going and enjoyed the leaves falling on my head.  As soon as I allowed myself to slow down and enjoy the run/walk, things went much better!

What I found while running today was so much love!  There was so much of it, it was falling from the skies and piling up on the trails!

I finished my run just in time to rush off to Weight Watchers, throw on a tshirt over my base layer, get weighed in and only be 2 minutes late to the meeting!  Whew!  Thank god there were no cops doing speed checks along the roads!

In the meeting I found out that this month's focus is to SLOW DOWN!  Put our forks down and sip water between bites.  But this can be taken even further.  As my leader says, "Slow down between bites of life!"  We do not have to go at break neck speeds all of the time.  This is true for everything we do in life (including running).

The holidays are upon us and with all of the parties,  shopping, working, kids school holiday performances, and just general life, things can get very busy.  It would behoove us to slow down.  Take a moment to take some deep breaths.  Don't lose sight of the things that are important in life.  Remember to take time to take care of ourselves.  Eat right.  Get some exercise.  Do things that make us smile and help us relax.  Instead of having a short temper when a car cuts you off on the high way, give that person a break; you have no idea what that person is going through.  Be patient. Be reflective.  Take it easy and just slow down a bit.

Here's to a peaceful holiday season and taking time to smell the Christmas trees :)

Are you HWP, BBW, BHM, BMW, FFA, or FA? Do you even know what they mean?

What kind of labels do you give yourself and what does that say about you?

I will admit it, every once in a while I get on the Craigslist Personal Ads and peruse.  Being a bisexual woman, sometimes, I think I would like a girlfriend, but I rarely respond to any of these ads.  I would rather let things happen naturally (but that would mean I would need to hang out with other bisexual women, and well most don't advertise it with a label on their shirt)!  Anyway,  mostly I just look through the personals and say to myself, "What the heck does THAT mean, and how would I even answer that question?"

Last week, I came across an ad that sounded very interesting.  She seemed like a woman I could hang out with.  However, in her request for women to respond, she asked that they be HWP.  That got me thinking about these labels:

HWP = Height Weight Proportionate (usually meaning someone who fits the usual BMI chart of what is healthy)
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman (usually reserved for women who are obese...or at least that is the way it is understood when looking at it)
BHM = Big Handsome Man
BMW = Big Mexican Woman (So I supposed BBW could also stand for Big Black Woman? *shrug*)
FFA = Fat Female Admirer or Female Fat Admirer
FA = Fat Admirer

When I read that lady's request for a HWP female, it made me think about MY body.  I am 5'4"(ish) and weigh 190# (ish).  According to BMI charts that is obese and NOT HWP.  According to those charts, I should be 5'4" weighing in at the heaviest part at 145#.  However, I am a size 10 or 12 depending on the clothing.  My friends tell me I look "tiny" (though I think that is probably an exaggeration and certainly not a word I would use to describe myself).  However, I would never describe myself as a BBW (that is the way I used to describe myself at a size 18, 20, 22 and 24). What I do know is that I am an ultra marathoner, I am healthy fit and strong.  I do have some extra fat I could stand to lose and some extra skin from having lost the weight I have already lost.  I have a body that has had 3 c-sections so there are those affects on my body as well.  So ya.....just wasn't sure how to respond to that woman's post and it gave me pause......

All of these acronyms and descriptions are based on someones appearance.  While I understand that most people of the world have attraction to certain physical types (or quite the opposite and are completely turned off by certain physical types), I wonder what the world would be like if we placed personal ads that did NOT have any type of physical descriptions at all.  What if we placed personal ads strictly based on our personal attitudes, out look on life, personal interests, hobbies, spiritual beliefs, political beliefs.  What if we posted about the personality characteristics that we find sexy?  What if we posted about what we thought were our best personality characteristics?  What would happen if we chose to tell a story about a time that we overcame one of our fears or about one of our greatest adventures or something we were most proud of?  How would the dating world be different?

Here is my challenge to you.  I don't care if you are married, single, have multiple relationships or just aren't interested in a relationship.  I challenge you to write a personals ad (even if its just for your own personal review) describing yourself without describing any of your personal traits.  Also include what you are looking for in a mate without describing personal traits.  See what you can come up with.  And if you are brave enough..if you are looking for someone to date, post that ad on a place like Craigslist and see what happens.

Trail Running is Always an Adventure

The adventure isn't always about the run itself, but sometimes it's about gear and goals.


The Shoe Drama Continues...Hopefully This Is The End.....

A while back (in the middle of my shoe drama) my friend, Tina, suggested I try Altra shoes.  They are a minimalist trail running shoe with a zero drop.  Which basically means it has no real arch support and is close to running barefooted.  I wasn't entirely certain I wanted to try those shoes since I knew I needed arch support (but then again, I also run with hard plastic orthotics).  Anyway, ignoring her suggestion, I bought those crazy looking Rebock all terrain shoes.  What a disaster that was.  I ran 35 miles in them.  My last run with them was a 10 mile run along an unpaved section of the greenbelt.  I could feel every single step and the little knobs on the bottom of the those ended up being pressure points every time my foot hit the pavement.  And in the end, the sole of the shoe itself ended up being too flexible (which means they wore out in 35 miles).

Right after finishing my 10 mile run that day, I went to the Pulse shoe store to drop off some donated clothes.  While I was there, Beth, the sales clerk, asked me if I wanted to try the Altras. She knows I have issues with shoes, and she remembered the thread on Facebook where someone suggested it.  As it turned out, as soon as they came into the store, she thought they would be a good shoe for me.  Sweaty, tired and stinky, I agreed to sit down and try on these size 9, zero drop, minimalist trail running shoes.   They have a wider toe box (which was the biggest perk for my wide feet) and since they are zero drop with no arch support, they provide a deeper foot bed for my foot and my insert to fit in without my heal lifting out of he shoe when I walk/run.  They felt amazing.  I went back the next day and bought the very bright shoes.  They have a 2 week refund policy, and I knew I had a 20 mile trail run planned for the next day.  These shoes would have a trail by fire!

Swan Falls Dam to Celebration Park and Back 22 Mile Loop.....

Ever since I heard about this loop last year, I have wanted to run this loop.  I love Swan Falls Dam and the Snake River Canyon.  It's just gorgeous.  And since my running girlfriends had planned this little trip, there was no way I was going to miss it.  With my brand new bright orange Altras I met the girls at 7:45 am to make the 45 minute drive to the Canyon.  It was cool and crisp and looked like it would be the perfect day for a 22 mile run!

After getting a group shot, it didn't take long for the group to spread apart and settle into our own paces.  Andrea and Tina took off.  Andrea was working on getting her last long training run in before her 50 mile race.  She needed to run faster and get more miles in than the rest of us.  Dondi, Joyce and Lori stayed several yards a head of Mary and I but generally were within eye sight of us.  We did stop and meet each other to take some fun pictures at one of the stone house.  This trail was so gorgeous and had such a rich history; it would have been a shame not to stop and take the pictures!

At the mid-way point (Celebration Park), Mary and I stopped to take care of her blistered feet.  Dondi, Joyce and Lori took off as soon as we got to the park.  And while Mary was finishing up with her feet, Andrea and Tina took off too.  Again, Mary and I were on our own and made our way across the river on this really cool bridge that used to be a rail way bridge.

The trail on the North side of the River would appear then disappear.  I tried my hardest to follow foot prints. Neither Mary nor I had ever been on this trail and I had no idea this run would have me playing the role of tracker trying to track our running buddies up ahead.  It was pretty entertaining.  There were parts of this trail that were down right scary. Mary had to sit on her bum to get down a particularly steep part of the trail.  Then once when we caught up with Dondi, Joyce and Lori, we all had to cross a creek then crawl/climb on all fours up a steep rocky stretch up the trail onto a ridge.  Poor Mary was behind me and the rocks beneath my feet kept on rolling.  Thank god none of them hit her!

Dondi pointed out some really cool petroglyphs that I had been excited to see.  (Like I said.. a rich history!)

I have no idea what was up with this trail. But every rock on the trail tried to trip me. One of them actually succeeded and I fell to the ground and kept rolling landing on my back.  Mary was behind me and was a bit worried.  We all worry about me hitting my head again.  Or even just jarring my brain  (without hitting it).  After checking my tights and my long sleeves and the palms of my hands, I decided I was okay.  Nothing was ripped and my head seemed fine.  Off we went running again.

Like I said, the trail kept disappearing and we found ourselves bush whacking our way through sticker bushes and tumble weeds and climbing up big ol' boulders through boulder fields.  Mary and I lost our way several times.  But I just kept saying, as long as we follow the river, we know we will be okay.  We just had to get to the dam which is on the river.  But some how, toward the end of the run, we managed to find ourselves up on the cliff, passed the dam and did not see a trail to get us down.  Mary and I found ourselves scaling the edge of the steep cliff to get down to the trail below us to cross the dam.  It was certainly an adventure!

Now I want to go back and start by crossing the dam and go backwards and see if I can find the actual trail that doesn't require scaling the cliff :).  Soon.

Adventures of BIG Goals.....

I have already set a goal to do my first 50 mile race in March.  However, I found myself in a Facebook conversation with a friend who was asking about the 100 mile distance that is being offered at the same race in which I wanted to do the 50 miles.  (Neither of us have ever done a 100 mile race.) During this conversation, I told my friend that in order to do the actual 100 mile race which has a 32 hour cut off, she only needed to do a little over 3 miles an hour to reach that goal.  (That was after she said, she could easily walk a 15 minute mile..which is 4 miles per hour.) I have never been someone to discourage someone from following their goals.  I believe anything and everything is possible....especially with running goals.  All you have to do is have your head and your heart in the right place and train properly.  Yes, these races are huge challenges, and I respect the mental and physical strength and fortitude it takes to complete these huge goals, but I do believe anything is possible.  Maybe that is a Pollyanna  attitude, but its the truth.  As a matter of fact, I am a good example of this.

Anyway, after a conversation with someone else, I had to go back and read this entire thread.  My other friend said that I had said that this 100 mile race on flat ground would be "easy"...and I never said that. (I had to re-read the thread to verify that.)

What I do believe is.......no matter what goal you set for yourself, as long as you train (put your work in) and BELIEVE it is possible, then that is half the battle.  No matter what your goal is, there are going to be obstacles.  There are going to be nay sayers. There are going to be doubters.  But if you want to reach your goal, you need to stay focused on what YOU believe, stay positive and keep moving forward!  In the case of distance running, you also need to listen to your body to make sure you do not injure yourself.  You need to train smart.  But don't ever let someone else's limitations keep you from reaching your goals.  You need to run your own race...not anyone else's.  Just because someone else may not be up for the challenge, doesn't mean you are not.  Just because someone thinks something is difficult, doesn't mean it needs to be difficult for you.  At the same time, just because someone thinks something is EASY doesn't mean it is going to be easy for you too.  You can reach for a huge, scary goal and still be realistic. Only you know what you are capable of, and you should surround yourself with people who believe in you and will support your goals!  So go for it!!!  And don't ever look back!

This life is an adventure and its meant to be lived fully!!!  Get out there and live it!

Modern Day Teenage Romances....

Just one mom's perspective on teenage romance and heart break......

From the days gone by of passing notes in school and long curly phone cords that wrapped around to the next room to the modern day texting and skyping, relationships and heartbreaks remain the same but with a different frame around them......

Recently I have watched my 2 children at home go through some break ups and heart breaks.  As a mom, all I want to do is protect my children.  I want to hug them and tell them it is okay and it won't happen again, but we all know that it WILL happen again.  Only, it won't just be their sweet hearts, it might be their best friends or the death of their fur babies, or who knows what else.  And once again, I will want to be there to put my arms around them and protect them from the pain.  Yet,  I know that pain is what will build their character,  help them learn and grow, and hopefully not make them jaded to love and trust again.  And at times, I'm not going to lie, all I have wanted to do was reach out and touch the person who broke my child's heart.  (But that's just the mama bear in me and since I couldn't hurt a fly,  that certainly isn't going to happen....but sometimes the thought is entertaining.  I will say, however, that the older they get and the deeper the pain caused, the one who caused the pain is less likely to get a warm reception from me the next time I see them.)

All of this brings back memories of my own teenage heart breaks gone by.  Both the ones where my heart was hurt and the ones where I did the hurting.  I wonder how my parents felt, or how the other parents felt.  I also wonder how technology plays into the heart ache as opposed to how it played out back when I was a kid and all we had were push button phones and notes we hand wrote ourselves and passed around in school.

I remember having big crushes on boys (before Tracy came along).  Most of these boys didn't reciprocate my feelings, but there were a few who did.  

I was a bonafide "rink rat".  From a very early age, I lived in the Thunderbird Roller Rink.  I took lessons on Saturday morning, skated the Saturday afternoon sessions and every Friday night, I was there skating with my friends.  I LIVED in the roller rink.  I knew everyone who worked there and everyone who skated there.  I had the biggest crush on the DJ who had this amazing 1970's afro and wore the best double knit bell bottoms and crazy patterned blousey shirts.  His name was Elmer.  He was in high school and he was my skating instructor.  He could dance like none other on skates.  My heart broke when I met his girlfriend.  *sigh*  But that is okay.  Friday nights, I had a steady roller skating boyfriend.  His name was Reid.  Everyone knew we belonged together. Every couples' skate was ours.  This went on for years.  It didn't make a difference how much bullying I went through in my every day life, at the roller rink I was queen.  I could dance.  I was the fastest girl on skates and I had a boyfriend!  Till one day, I didn't.  He broke up with me for a girl who was older than me.  And my heart broke.  To be honest, I do not remember much about my heart break, except that I know it hurt. I do not remember anything about how my mom handled it or what she might have said to me.

In 6th grade I was "going with" (what we called it back in my day) a boy named Maximo. He was from the Dominican Republic and couldn't speak a lick of English, and I couldn't speak a lick of Spanish.  Well, okay, I could count to 10 in spanish and that is exactly what I did around him.  (Like a peacock showing off its beautiful feathers, I would spin around on the wooden prayer alters in the front of the church with Maximo beside me and I would count....uno...dos...tres..... showing him that I could speak his language, or at least try.)  In order for us to get this far in our "relationship" we had to depend on his cousins to help us communicate (for the most part). Language barrier be damned, we knew we liked each other and that was all we needed.  At Christmas he gave me a huge candy cane with a Christmas card in which he hand wrote, "Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!  Love, Maximo"  Broken English at its finest.  All was right in my world.  We had been "going together" for a couple of months.  We only saw each other in church on Sundays and possibly Wednesdays.  When our church group went out Rollerskating, I was excited to play the part of the peacock again, and show off my amazing skating skills.  I NEVER fell.  I was a dancer!  I was trained in figure skating and I could disco skate and I LOVED to dance! And I was fast. No one could beat me in a race.  I was a double threat!  *laugh*  But best of all, I got to couple skate with him.  We held hands and we skated.  Maximo did NOT know how to skate.  He was a little like watching a baby horse learn to stand up on all fours right after being born.  He was very wobbly to say the least.  When we were couple skating, something happened and he fell, making me fall  too.  That was it. It was over with.  I didn't care how much I liked him or how much he liked me.  No one makes me fall.  I broke up with him.  My mom was none to happy with me for breaking up with a boy because he couldn't roller skate and made me fall.  Maximo was the sweetest boy.  He went back to the Dominican Republic shortly after that, but I was constantly asking when he would return.  There was just something about him.  As a matter of fact, I continued having dreams about him well into my 30's until I finally found him again via the internet and we exchanged a few emails.  He remembered the card he wrote me and we laughed.  I'm still friends with his cousins on facebook, and all the old memories make me smile.  But I know that at one time, I broke this boy's heart over something so very silly.

There were other boys between Maximo and Tracy.  One broke up with me cause I kicked his butt in our Tae Kwon Do class.  It wasn't my fault that we were the same size and our instructor matched us up and Tim insisted on wearing his tight tight jeans instead of a gui.  *laugh*  How did he expect to move and kick in those jeans???  This was a boy that I had been crushing on for a couple of years.  We spent almost every day together riding our bikes after school.  But then all of a sudden, he wanted nothing to do with me cause I kicked his butt in class.  *laugh*  He is another boy that I dreamed about well into my 30's and even my 40's until I found him on Facebook and I knew he was "okay".   I know when he broke my  heart, I cried.  But again, I do not know what my mom knew or how she reacted.  There were other boys from my church that I crushed on and I had my heart bruised if not broken.  It happens.  What's a girl to do?

Then came Tracy.  In the nearly 5 years of dating before we got  married, we broke up 4 times.  3 times, he broke up with me (none of them lasted more than over night).  He broke up with me cause of other girls.  He liked other girls. He kissed other girls. His mom was strongly encouraging him to date other girls and NOT me, so to make her happy he would go out with the other girl, kiss her, then feel horrible and break up with me.  We cried and cried and cried each time he did that.   It was heart wrenching.  But the next day, he would call and we would get back together again.  I'm certain my mom saw me crying.    I'm certain she must have hurt for me.  But when Tracy and I got back together again, she never said a word.  Then years into our relationship, after I had accepted the promise ring that meant we would eventually get engaged (when we were old enough..cause Tracy proposed to me at 15 years old), I broke up with Tracy.  It was my turn to crush his heart.  I had a crisis of conscience.  I was good Christian girl and being sexually intimate was killing me.  I didn't want to go to hell.  I couldn't keep asking for forgiveness and then sinning all over again. I knew it wasn't going to stop, so breaking up was the only thing I could do.  It killed me.  It killed him.  But to be fair, it killed me just a little less, cause I started dating a boy I had met at church camp right after I broke up with Tracy.  *laugh*  I had made my decision to break up with Tracy while I was at church camp, and this boy worked at the camp and listened to my woes all week long.  Little did I know, that while he was listening to my woes, he was plotting against me. While I thought he was "coming to God" and supporting me in my quest to become virginal again, he was really thinking, "If I can get her to break up with her boyfriend and start dating me, then I can get her to have sex with me!"  PIG!  *laugh*  Anyway, it didn't take long for me to figure out his plan and my response to him was..."If I am not going to have sex with a boy that I absolutely love and had planned to marry, WHY would I have sex with YOU????"  Ya, that relationship didn't last.  I missed my Tracy and this new boy found a girl who would give him what he wanted.  Tracy and I got back together a month later and have not been apart since.

I KNOW I shattered Tracy's heart. And I KNOW his mom knew.  She didn't like me much anyway, so I can only imagine how much LESS she liked me after shattering Tracy's heart.   Ironically, I really thought I was doing what was best for our eternal souls, yet I was blamed for Tracy's fall out with his Christian faith.  *laugh*

Fast forward.....my kids are grown up and dating.  I have watched my children in relationships.  I watched when Nick had his heart shattered and there was nothing I could do for him.  But He did come to me one day and talk it out with me and ask my advice. It was the best conversation I have ever had with him (or at least the one I will remember the most), and I am so grateful to have been able to have that conversation with him.  Recently, I have watched Nate get his heart squashed and handed back to him on a silver platter.  This kind of heart break, I can not even begin to understand as it was about more than just some girl, it was about losing the girl and two little boys he counted as his own.  I am not going to lie and say I did not want to hurt the person who caused my boy so much pain.  Yet, I also have to say that I was a bit relieved; I supported my son and his decisions but I knew the hard work that was ahead if he had stayed in that relationship.  Then there is Omi girl.  Aside from her 5th grade boyfriend, who lasted several months if not the entire school year, her "relationships" last about a week maybe 2. Each break up she tells me about. She is a bit sad but usually doesn't cry too much.  She would tell me, "Mom, he broke up with me, but it's okay.  I'm fine." And there would be no tears.  She would just bounce right back up.  Until this last one.  This last boy she has liked for quite a while, and he finally asked her out.  These days they call it "going out" or "dating" even if there is no actual dating  happening.  Like her mom, Omi is a rink rat.  But I have seen her.  There is much more sitting and socializing than there is actual roller skating happening. *laugh*  She was finally dating the boy she really liked.  And she even got her first kiss from this boy.  She told me about her first kiss and giggled and blushed.  It was too cute.  And just this past Friday we went in to meet this boy and he walked her to the doors of the rink to say goodbye.  He held her in his arms and she looked up at him.  I saw the look of complete smitten-ness in her eyes. Yup, she had it bad.  Then two days later, she comes out of her room in tears.  The boy had broken up with her.  When I asked her why, her response, "Because he likes someone else."  *sigh*  All I could do was hold her and let her cry.  I do believe that if she had not kissed him, this would not have hurt so much, but alas, the first kiss was given.

So where does technology fit into all of this?  I have no idea how this boy broke up with Omi.  He lives a good 20 minutes, maybe even 30 minutes away.  I know that the two of them skyped each other almost nightly. (When I was a kid, we would talk on the phone and stare at pictures of our sweeties or just remembered what they looked like.  If you were lucky, you had a stuffed animal that your sweetie gave you that you got to hold onto and cuddle with while you talked to your heart's desire.)

Now they have phones that take pictures and can be sent to each other. They have computers to skype or facetime so they can see each other when they talk.  Half the time they don't even talk on the phones, they just text each other.  Did this boy, call her voice to voice to break up with her?  Did he text her?  Did they skype to break up?  I don't know.  But back in my day, it was done face to face.....or sometimes in a note that was passed around by friends.  (Which I guess isn't any worse than a text.)  But then there is the ever rotating relationship status on facebook.  One week they are in a relationship and the next they aren't and the whole world sees it.  Or one week it says a girl is in a relationship with Tom and the next week it says Randy.  *laugh*    I'm sure its just the kids way of shouting to the world.."Hey I got a boyfriend/girlfriend!"  Isn't that the first thing we used to do when the boy of our dreams asked us to go with them? We jumped on the phone and we called all of our friends.  But now, the kids don't have to make a bazillion phone calls, they just have to change their relationship status on facebook.  Maybe it's a time saver.  But I just see it as something a little strange and odd.  Maybe it's the old fashioned person in me who thinks stating you are in a relationship the minute a boy ask you to "date" him is a bit premature; maybe you should wait until that "relationship" last more than a few days?  I also might be a bit jaded.   If you are constantly changing your relationship status to "in a relationship" with a different person every other week, won't the bullies of the world start talking?  Why give them ammunition?  Back in my day, if a girl went from boy to boy, she would get a reputation that is hard to live down.  Does that same thing happen with the changing of the relationship status on facebook?  I don't know.

Man for the fist time in my life, I am feeling a bit "old" when it comes to technology and modern relationships. *laugh*  I long for the days of notes that get passed through a chain of friends through school. I miss the days when you had one phone line in a house and if you wanted any privacy during a phone call, you had to hope and pray your parents bought the longest curly cord possible so it would reach around the corner to the next room away from listening ears and you hoped and prayed no one picked up the receiver that was in the other room!

Awwww, here's to love...the joys and the heartbreaks.

Pre-Mature Blogging......

It happens, get over it.

This week isn't really over with yet (thus the premature blogging), but I really wanted to blog today. I have stuff in my head!  *laugh*  Besides, for the most part, I am done with my training for the week, so I think it's safe to blog.

This was my first week with the new training plan.  According to my plan, for the first week, I have 2 rest days (Friday with total rest and Sunday with active rest) and I should get in 20 miles.  I have been playing and tweaking with things trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.  This is really the first time I have tried to follow a plan like this.  I have followed marathon training (almost to a T) and with my 50K training I tried to keep up with (with the exception of my injury breaks).  But both of those plans were just mileage plans and not really the strengthening stuff.  (Even if I did do dancing, skating, and weight lifting in the mix of it all.)

Anyway, this week went pretty well I think.  My mileage, as it stands right now, is 18.98 miles for the week.  So I'm just 1.2 miles behind the minimum goal.  I want to go for a walk with Tracy this weekend to look at the pretty fall leaves, so I will get the miles in.

As for the strength training days, I have been doing the recommended squats and stuff.  I have also incorporated Yoga.  Like I mentioned before, I did not like the YogaX so I went out and bought a Gaiam Yoga for Beginners DVD.  I did the 20 minute work out yesterday morning.  It's funny.  The 15 minutes of YogaX about killed me and the 20 minutes of this beginner's Yoga was like nothing.  I feel like I need to meet somewhere in the middle.  Just not sure where that middle is!  I also do some extra stretching on these days.

Ya know, I find it really "easy" to follow the physical part of a training regimen, but the food part I just rebel against.  That is the only way I can describe it.  I have all kinds of dedication and stick-to-itiveness when it comes to working out, but food?  Don't leave an open bag of Goldfish around me!!!  I gotta get that reigned in!  I need to create  a food plan and stick to it!

So what has it felt like to stick to this training regimen?  My body feels sore!  To be fair, the training regimen says that TODAY (Friday) should be a rest day, with my Long Run being tomorrow with an active rest day on Sunday to follow.  However, I don't like to do my long runs on Saturdays if I can avoid it.  I like to spend time with my family.  Although, to be fair an 8-10 mile run on a Saturday would not take away much time from my family.  So maybe I need to be really honest here.  I like to sleep in all cuddled up with my hubby, and rolling out of bed on a cold Saturday morning to go outside and run just doesn't sound like as much fun!  *laugh*  There.. I've said it.  It's out in the open now!

So today, without a rest day, I went out on a "Long Run".  It was only 8 miles in the foot hills with 1,170 ft elevation gain in 2:27 hours.  But since my longest run this week was only a little over 5 miles, this fits the bill as a long run.  The training plan also says my long run should be 60 to 90 minutes for the first week.  *laugh*  I don't think my mileage and their timing are going to equal out!  *laugh*  But in terms of a 50 Mile Race or in any ultra marathon, the most important thing is time on you feet.  Anyway, today, I went out for that Long Run without a rest day and my legs were very tired and sluggish to begin with.

I went with my friends Mary and Kim for Kim's 50th birthday.  Mary planned the route which took me to trails I have never been on.  It included a trail called Sidewinder that had some pretty serious climbs that I'm not certain my body and mind were really ready for.  However, I did find myself running more up hills than normal.  Kim is a bit faster than me and I decided to push myself to keep up with her.  Actually, I think we make a pretty good running match.    It was a truly beautiful day to be out there running.  And as usual the Boise Foothills are just amazing!  I'm so blessed to have them as my play ground and training grounds!  Even feeling a bit sluggish, this pace was at a little over a 16 minute/mile pace for us and that was with some stopping to remove jackets and such.  So all in all, even with feeling sluggish, I think we made pretty decent time for the 8 miles we were out there for.  We did an out and back. so all of that climbing meant we got to run down hill on the way back to the cars.  I love running down hill :).

After my run, I came home and stretched in the hot shower (like I normally do) but my body is still feeling pretty sore.  My plan is to rest this weekend with either Saturday or Sunday as a day to go for a little, easy hike to look at the pretty trees....probably Sunday. My legs need to rest.

The jury is still out on my crazy looking shoes.  They now have 25.32 miles on them.  They need a good 20 miler to see if they will keep my feet blister free.  (That 20 miler is scheduled for next Friday with the girls.)   Anyway, the great news is, they are finally dirty and they look like trail runner shoes now!  Yay!!!!  I love when my running shoes get dirty!

One last final thought.....

Yesterday, I was talking to Tracy about the new shopping center/mall that was built in Meridian, Idaho.  It's called The Village and it has a few upper-end stores and restaurants like The Loft and Kona Grille.  Tracy asked me if I was gonna go shop there.  And honestly, I don't think it looks like any big deal really.  AND, I do not shop at The Loft.  Actually, we have that store in the local mall a few miles away from home and Naomi and I go in there and laugh at the prices.  I laughed and joked with Tracy, "I raised our daughter right!" (In reference to not wanting to pay for over priced clothing.)  Yes, there are some things I am willing to pay good money for, but really, I just do not see the need to spend $100 on a pair of pants (on a regular basis).  I LOVE a good bargain!  However, with that said, I am more than willing to spend $100 on a pair of running shoes or running tights or a nice running jacket. *laugh* "You might be a runner if.......your running clothes are more expensive than your regular dress clothes."

Have a great day everyone!!!

Getting Faster and Feeling Beat Up......

Just another day of training *laugh*

So I have started a new training plan with the 50 Mile run in March in sight.  Between now and then, there will be a 50K trail race in there, but I'm pretty certain this training plan that I am using will work for both races.  Here is the first paragraph of my training plan that I will  use for the first 6 weeks (this week being week 1).

"BASE:  6 weeks
You can begin with only 20 miles per week, but build to 35 miles before starting the next phase.
MON:  Easy run Start with 3 miles and work up to 5 or 6 by week 6.
TUE:  Strength workout 10 minutes of abdominal work, plus 1x12 reps of squats, lunges, calf raises, dips, and bench presses.
WED:  Easy run 4 to 5 miles, adding a few hills each week.  By week 6 the run should be mostly hills. This can either be a continuous run on hilly terrain or repeats on one short, steep hill.
THU:  Strength workout with Optional 30 to 45 minutes of low-intensity cross-training (XT) or easy running.
FRI:  Rest
SAT:  Long, slow run.  Start with 60 to 90 minutes and add 15 to 30 minutes each week.  IF your race is off-road, do this run on trails.  After 6 weeks, this run should cover 12 to 14 miles.
SUN:  Rest or walk/jog 2 miles."

This seems like a smart plan to me.  Especially since I just completed my first 50K 2 1/2 weeks ago.  I may have a tendency to over train and not let my body rest.  I let it rest for a week and a half but then right back to 6 miles on the trails (which I think is okay).  But I am very tempted to go do 20 miles this weekend with some friends, and I do have a 22 mile run planned for NEXT week. *laugh*  Anyway, I think starting at these lower mileage weeks will help my body to continue to rest while I build back up to the peak.  Also, I have not been very good about incorporating strength training into my training routine (or stretching for that matter).

So my plan is to follow this schedule relatively closely.  This past Monday I ran 5 1/2 miles or so.  Yesterday, I did 15 minutes of yoga, 12 squats, 24 walking lunges (12 on each leg), 12 calf dips/raises on my stairs), 75 crunches, and 10 push ups.  I also did an hour of belly dancing.

Today, I did my first road running in over a year.  I did a 5K, my fastest 5K in 41:01 with a 13:13 pace.  During this run, I also started a new pacing procedure I plan to use for my 50 mile race.  Since the 50 mile race will be on flat trail, I decided to use the 5 minute run 1 minute walk pacing routine.  So today that is what I started.  It was hard.  I mean genuinely hard.  I am not entirely certain why.  Maybe it's because it's the road which is more jolting on my body. Maybe it was because it was all in my mind.  Maybe it was because it was more flat and up hill rather than lots of fun down hills (so I had to work harder than my running on the down hills on the trails).  So a 13:26 pace on a trail (my last 5K pace) will have LOTS of down hill that has me running faster on the downhill making up for the slower up hills, but the 13:13 pace on the street has me running mostly flats with a few up hills that *might* lead to a gradual down hill, but not necessarily since I turn on to different streets at the tops of these hills.  So I am working harder for that 13:13 pace than I am for that 13:26 pace.  Anyway, I think that it may be a combination of my head games and the road.  Either way, I did my fastest 5K today and I will get used to the 5:1 routine in time.

Today, my body is feeling pretty sore. Almost as sore as it felt after my 50K.  I am not sure why.  Though I think it was the road mileage and the yoga from yesterday *laugh*.

And since I did NOT like YogaX yesterday (I have NEVER liked that program, even when I was doing P90X on a regular basis), I decided to purchase a new yoga program that is geared for beginners that includes a 20 minute program for the mornings and a 15 minute one for the evening and a 40 minute pose instructional program.   I think the 20 minute morning program will be perfect for my Tuesday/Thursday training days.

I have also been keeping up with my training log.  I really like it.  I am able to log about how I am feeling about my training and keeping track of the mileage of my shoes, which I am still really liking.