So yesterday, I wrote about what happened the day I got arrested. And I said in that post that I didn't have words to express what happened. Well, funny thing, I keep finding words, yet the words still seem so inadequate.
A couple of weeks ago, I was having a rather creative and profound moment that ended up with the question. "If you were to die and be mummified, and then later excavated, what would the archeologists find in your sarcophagus?" At first I thought they would find nothing in mine. I mean. I never graduated from college. I never did anything HUGE. What have I done? I have raised 3 beautiful children and loved countless others and I have accepted them as my own. I have run marathons and and ultra marathon. I have won a couple of awards for community service. So I guess pictures of my children, my race medals/bibs and my awards might be in there. And those are big things. I saw this quote above and it reminded me of that..."Above all, remember that you must build your life as if it were a work of art."
People keep telling me how proud they are of me. They keep telling me what an inspiration I am. And I find it hard to accept. I have learned to take compliments and appreciations. But this feels different. It's one thing to get up and get dressed up and be pretty or to get on stage and perform well and have people appreciate you for those things. But to me, standing up for Human Rights is different. I guess I do have a choice to ignore what is going on, but to me its not a choice. It's a necessity!
To me, adding the 4 worlds "Sexual Orientation" and "Gender Identity" to the Idaho Human Rights Act is not a choice. And, to me, its even more important than the legalization of same sex marriage. (I know that might sound kind of harsh, but please bear with me.) We can choose rather or not we want to enter into loving committed relationships and whether or not we WANT to get married. (And yes, I believe it should be legalized, but it is still a choice.) The people of the LGBT community did not a get a choice in their Sexual Orientation or even how they identify in their Sexual Identity. No one has been able to explain the medical/psychological reasons for the way human beings decide their orientation, but I know for myself I didn't get to choose to be straight or bisexual. I just AM bisexual, no matter how much I tried to pray it away or wish it away. So, here I am. I am a bisexual woman (without choice) and I am unprotected by law. I am not part of a protected class. I can be fired, or not hired, because of my sexuality. I can be denied services (medical, or other wise) due to my sexual identity. I can be refused housing. As a matter of fact, if my land lord saw me on the news standing up for my rights (or whatever), they could evict my family. This is why I think adding the 4 words is more important (at this point) than legalizing same sex marriage. I have had friends denied housing because the land lord found out they were a same sex couple. I have watched teens be discriminated against and bullied by a vice principal because they were a same sex couple. It happens, and it needs to END! Adding these words will do that! It will give them an umbrella to protect them. That is all we are asking.
How hard is it to add 4 words to an Act that is already created?
My other thought process is that this should be a national thing. Why are we having to fight this on a state level. Other states have these same issues. WHY IS THIS NOT NATIONAL? Why is this not something that is added to our National Human Rights wording? This is something so simple and so basic and so HUMANE! It makes no sense to me! And when I think about it, I get so frustrated! LGBT people are NOT second class citizens and they deserve the same protections as anyone else! It is this belief that keeps those of us in Idaho getting arrested. We believe so strongly in this cause. We are focused on protecting and providing a better place for our LGBT children..to give them hope to stop the suicides that are happening. But it's not just our children, its the adults too. The problem with the children is that they do not always have the maturity and wisdom it takes to survive the kind of bullying and discrimination they are getting (while adults tend to have a bit more experience under their belts). If our government won't stand up for them, who will? I WILL! I will keep getting arrested until Idaho creates the hearing to get the 4 words added!
*sigh* I know. I am getting rather passionate and wordy.... I'm taking a deep breath and trying to calm down.
So back to the arrest....
The day I was arrested we had several transgendered individuals with us. One of them was my new friend Patrick. I had not met Patrick until that day. Actually, we didn't even introduce ourselves until our hands were off of our mouths and we were sitting next to each other in the Capitol Police office waiting to be processed. He told me that as of April 15th he will legally be a male. I congratulated him and asked if that was a physical change. He explained he does not have the money for the gender reassignment surgery, but he is taking male hormones and on the 15th of April his birth certificate and name will be changed to reflect he is a male. I felt enormously happy for him. What a huge challenge these transgendered individuals face. But it wasn't until I was in the Ada County Jail with a group of women in one cell room that it dawned on me. "What do they do with the transgendered people?" For some it might be easier to decide what to do because they obviously look male or female. For others, it might not be as obvious from looking at them. But more importantly, I thought about those transgendered people who Identify as one gender but still have he genitals of the opposite gender. Now I realize, at this point, we were just in County Jail and we were not staying the night. We were all put in cells together away from the general population or outsiders being arrested. Patrick would be going home that night. But I worried for him anyway. How scary would it be to be a female to male transgendered individual still having female genitalia and being incarcerated in the male gen pop? As it turned out, for Patrick, they didn't know where to put him. So instead of him getting to hang out with the males of our group or the females of our group, he was put in a cell all on his own the entire time we were there. For the few minutes I was alone in my cell, I was a bit scared and lonely. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him. But I did see the huge smile on his face when he was finally released and allowed out to hang out in the chairs with us and he proudly walked to the "male seating" area of this waiting room.
Years ago, I used to go to these huge inspirational seminars. In the seminars the leader did his best to break down our walls and get us to become vulnerable and real with ourselves. What is really scaring us and keeping us from reaching our goals and our dreams. Usually these things had some kind of "initiation ritual" that would push our boundaries and face our fears. At the end of these things, we felt an enormous amount of personal growth. That is what standing up at the Capitol and the arrest has done for me. I am still feeling the growth consequences of these actions. I am still trying to assimilate all that I am feeling and all hat I have learned.
Several years ago, during Pride Week here in Boise, I was awarded a community service award for my work in the community. It was HUGE for me because when I moved here in 2002, I swore I would live my life out of the closet and be proud of who I am and several years later, there I was during Boise Pride Week receiving an award for my service in my community. However, only one part of my community service was being done for those in the LGBT community (and really it wasn't the LGBT community as much as it was the HIV/AIDS community). I ran a women's retreat for women infected with the disease, and most of these women were straight. I was encouraged by the people at this award ceremony to get more involved in my LGBT community once my time freed up from other things I had been doing. Well I let go of the other things I had been doing and for the last 3 years just been focusing on myself. I have been feeling quite alone and a little "in the wind" with no direction. Until I decided to get involved with the Add The Words campaign. This is where I am meant to be right now. I am pushing my limits. I am facing my fears. I am accepting the challenges. More importantly, I am standing for people who can not stand themselves. I am speaking for those who can not speak for themselves (even if by speaking, I mean standing silently with my hand over my mouth. Silence speaks volumes!)
Anyway, thanks for listening as I still process my experience. And if you live in the Boise area, tonight, there is a fundraiser at the Lucky Dog Tavern on Fairview at 9pm to help raise funds for the legal campaign for those of us being arrested for Add The Words. It will help with bail and fines. It will be a fun event. Please attend if you can. If you can't, there are other ways to donate, you can click on this link:
And if you don't want to get arrested and can spend your lunch hour on Monday, March 3rd, singing peacefully in the Capitol Building, please join me!
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