January 1, 2018 Happy New Year!!!

For a couple of weeks now I have been thinking about the flipping of the calendar page that tells me that we have started a new year.  I have been thinking about how my 2017 played out. I had some amazing moments, that I have already gone over in blog.  There are a few things I would have liked to have gotten done, but over all, my year was pretty amazing.   I have absolutely no complaints.  But what about 2018?  I'm not big on resolutions, but if you have been following my blogs over the years, you might remember that I like to find projects or something to focus on throughout the year.

I was struggling with what kind of goals or ideas I wanted to focus on for 2018.  But I figured that it would all come to me in time. 

On December 29th, Naomi and I went on a little date to the art museum.  While we were downtown, we passed by JUMP (Jack's Urban Meet-up Place).  There was a photo of the giant rubber ducky that floats the rivers around the world.  When we saw it, we both smiled and thought of Nick.  There was some wording on the sign but I didn't really think much about it.  I told myself that I should stop and get a picture of the ducky, but then I told myself "If you stop at every random rubber ducky and took a picture, you would never get anywhere."  And I just kept driving and went on with my day.

On the 30th, I was feeling kind of "off".  But I didn't know the cause.  A friend posted a picture on my facebook wall; it was a set of rubber ducky ear rings being sold on Amazon.  Then I made a phone call to pay a bill and the customer service rep was named Nick.  I just smiled and went about my business.  A couple of hours later, I was doing something else when the name Nick popped up.  Okay.  Then Tracy and I went to the movies to see the new Jumanji movie.  I was feeling even more "off" and unsettled.  I was standing in the concession line when I saw a tall slender young man standing in line with his significant other when his mom came up and said she was going to get seats while they "kids" stood in line.  They looked about the same age as Nick would have been.  His comment to his mom was snarky and reminded me of Nick.  I burst into tears without warning.  Nick had now visited me 5 times in a little over 24 hours.  I thought I had been doing pretty good during the holiday season and Nick hasn't been hanging around alot lately. But there I was... a crying mess in a very public place.  I gathered myself, got my snacks and headed to the theater.

The movie was awesome.  But it wasn't until the end of the movie that I realized Nick was there with us.  The movie has Jack Black in it, and Nick LOVED Jack Black. He was there to watch the movie with us.  But he was there for more than that.  I realized the reason he kept showing up was because I saw him at JUMP and I didn't stop to read the sign and take a picture with it.  He wanted me to go back and take the picture and really let the "lesson" sink in.  I have been thinking about my thoughts for 2018 for weeks now, and there Nick was giving me the answer, and I drove right passed it and was not listening.  So what was the sign he is talking about? What was the message?  How is my year supposed to play out?   Here is is....

There it is.  THINK BIG!  That is Nick's message to me.  That is my motto for the year.  I know this sounds cheesy, but its reality.  I have dreams of things I want to have happen.  And I have allowed life to get in way of some progress.  I have allowed some rejection to keep me down and keep me thinking small.  I have allowed some heart ache to keep me down.  No more.  Time to pick myself back up. My knee has healed.  It's time for me to get out and hike and enjoy the outdoors again!  It's time for me to get back to eating healthy.  It's time for me get on stage and be the best performer I can be. It's time for me to teach some classes (I'm already scheduled to teach in a conference in April).  It's time for me to perform out of state (I already have an Oregon performance scheduled for May).  It's time for me to grow!  It's time for me to THINK BIG!

Once I realized what Nick was trying to tell me, I got on Facebook and ran into 2 messages from group boards that I have not really been participating in.  One was about someone who was making a HUGE leap and thinking HUGE.  Just like Nick was telling me.  But more importantly, there was a message from a young man who has been drawn to wear some women's fashion and felt uncomfortable expressing this desire.  He was afraid of being judged.  And Nick told me to message him and tell him about Nick's run with women's fashion.  I could feel Nick talking through my fingers.  It was a beautiful experience.

So yes.... my 2018 is all about "thinking big".  At first I thought it meant that I would do 2018 miles in 2018 (walking).  But then I realized, that though that is "doable"; its not practical and I don't want to hurt myself.  So... my goal: 2018 miles of MOVEMENT...walking, roller skating, riding my bike, hiking, snowshoeing..... (In case you were wondering what happened today.. I got ONE whole mile in while snowshoeing for 1 1/2 hours.. only 2017 more to go!)  I am getting back on keto tomorrow.  I would like to be down 20# by my birthday so I can jump out of that airplane I keep talking about!  My intention is to put myself out there again this year and submit for burlesque festivals. Think Big!  Put myself out there.  I am performing in Oregon for a friends show in May.  I would also like to perform in other states this year.  I will make some contacts and see what I can drum up!  I have a BIG performance I would like to put together and a HUGE costume to put together.  THINK BIG!  I want to walk a marathon this year.  I"m not sure which one yet, but it's going to happen!  So there you  have it.  I'm sure there is more I want to get done, but those are the ones I am going to put in black and white and on the internet for the world to see. LOL

Today a friend posted this meme......

It pretty  much sums up the way that I feel.  Life is too short.  Think Big.  Get out there and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!