Yesterday was Naomi's first prom. She is a junior this year. She had been looking forward to this day for a very long time. A friend of our's gave us a dress she wore back in high school. She was just going to donate it, but I told her Naomi would LOVE it. It was Naomi's favorite color when it comes to formal dresses, and it was her size. So yay! About a month ago, Naomi and I went shopping for the right shoes for the dress. The only thing left was the hair.
I remember going to school dances as a kid. Most of the time, it was a matter of going to a salon to get an "up do". However, Naomi has asked me to help her with her hair. I am not a hair stylist. But somehow, over the years, Naomi and I have created this relationship that allows for us to come to each other for hair and make up help. We are good about helping each other pick out clothes. We make a good team in that department. So last night I had the privilege of helping my daughter with her hair. I did not take this for granted.
Sometimes as a parent we need to create times for special one on one interactions with our children and sometimes those events can feel contrived. But last night, Naomi and I were just two women in a bathroom using a curling iron and visiting. Naomi has seriously long and thick hair. Curling hair takes a bunch of hair spray, patience and time. So there we were for an hour doing nothing but curling her hair and chatting. In those small moments, big things were talked about. "I can't believe I am going to my first prom." "I can't believe I will be a senior next year." "I can't believe I will be 18 in a few months; I'm not ready." Those are small sentences with big and deep meaning for her, as well as for myself. She is my baby. My little girl is growing up. She isn't so little anymore. She is a remarkable young woman who is intelligent, compassionate, empathetic, talented, graceful, logical and passionate. She has a smart mouth and a quick wit. She is a loyal friend. She is feisty and funny. And I am so proud of her. And I am so grateful for these small moments in the mirror of life.
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| Forever Red Banquet 2010(ish) |
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| Freshman Homecoming 2014 |
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| Junior Prom 2017 |
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| Junior Prom 2017 |
Nate's only prom was his senior year. He wasn't planning on going. But a girl he had been dating (but wasn't dating at the time) basically told him that he was taking her to his prom. And he went. LOL. We rented the tux and he looked amazing. I suppose he had a good time, even if it was under duress. But the small moments I remember with Nate, when it comes to school, are all the nights we stayed up late doing home work. He had such a difficult time just before we moved here to Idaho. He was in 4th grade and just moved to a different school. He would come home from school, rest for an hour and then hit the books. He literally did homework from about 4 or 5 till after 10pm. In that time frame, there was much crying! He would get so behind, I would keep him home from school just to get caught up. It was a horrible cycle and the teacher blamed it on him. I asked her to not give so much homework, and she said that my son was holding back the class. It was horrible. Then when we moved to Idaho in the middle of that year, I asked them to keep an eye on him and let me know what they thought. I really thought he had some kind of issue. Indeed he did. I had been asking since kindergarten to get him tested (and I was completely clueless about testing.. I didn't know I could get him tested on my own. Of course, it didn't help that each year the teachers said he was fine.) Anyway, moving here was huge! We got him tested. Found out what his challenges were and got him the help he needed. School continued to be a struggle for him. But as he got older, and after graduation, he started to find his strengths in life. He is such an amazing human being. He is creative. He is a great people person. He can sell sand to a thirsty desert dweller. And he is one of the most compassionate and patient people you will meet (yes he also has a crazy temper....comes by it honestly). In high school he volunteered with the adaptive ski school at Bogus Basin and he taught a woman who was paralyzed on one side of her body to snowboard. He spent weeks teaching autistic kids to snowboard. He is phenomenal at connecting with people. It's the not so quiet moments on a ski hill that I will cherish for my life time. I am so grateful to have pictures of him doing crazy stunts.
Snowboarding Tamarack 2010(ish)
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| Bogus Basin Beach Party 2009(ish) |
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| Senior Prom |
I will also remember the day he broke his thumb and I totally laughed at him. I am notorious for laughing at inappropriate times. It's a nervous habit. We had gone on a bike ride on the greenbelt. We found a BMX track and he decided to do a couple of runs. He crashed and broke his thumb or wrist or something. He was going into shock. At the time, I didn't know the greenbelt well enough to know where we were. I just knew where we had dropped our car off and it was few miles away. I managed to keep him moving and keep him talking through the tears and the pain long enough to get him to the car. It was scary and adventurous all at the same time. These are the things that Nate lives for. He is one crazy kid. To this day he still does stuff and is constantly getting himself hurt. He has no fear. And yes there are pictures and even video of that. There is proof that I laughed at the moment of his crash (before I knew he had really hurt himself.)
One other very precious memory of Nate I have was hiking with him when he was 3 or 4 years old. We lived in Arizona, and one of my favorite places to hike was the Superstition Mountains. Nate and I had decided to go hiking. It was a chilly morning. He had this little tiny teddy bear he carried EVERYWHERE, including that hike. It was spring so there were wildflowers out in the desert. He sat down in the midst of the flowers with his knees up and his his little teddy bear. I took a picture of him. His blond hair. His freckles. His red flannel jacket. So precious. It is one of my favorite memories with him. I have that photo somewhere. It was long before digital cameras.
One of the sweetest "small hours" I have of Nick was the day that I drove he and Suzy to college tour at ISU. They had decided they wanted to go to ISU. I wasn't thrilled with the choice, but I understood it. When the date came for them to take that tour, we woke up long before the sun did and we made the 3 hour drive to Pocatello. The tour was enlightening. The kids were excited. It was a good day. But on the way home, the two of them fell asleep and I was trying my hardest to stay awake. And the song "Little Wonders" came on the radio and I cried. My oldest was about ready to go off to college. He was just a few weeks from graduating from high school. All of that hard work and worry of getting him through school was coming to an end. He was happy. He had put us through the wringer, but he was well adjusted and ready to be an adult on his own. As they slept, I cried.
I guess since I already talked about Nate and Omi's prom dates, I should also talk about Nick. He was a colorful child. He was certainly a non-conformist. For his Freshman Farewell Dance, he wore a kilt. We rented one from a store that is no longer in business. He looked amazing. For he and Suzy's sophomore homecoming, they wore matching black sarongs. Finally, his Senior year, he decided to wear an actual tux, but with no bow tie, just the fancy buttoned up collar. Tracy and I actually chaperoned that dance. It was so much fun!
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| Sophomore Homecoming 2005 |
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| Senior Prom 2007 |
As a family, we have spent so much time hiking, snowboarding, camping. We love being outside. And I have so many pictures. I wish we had had digital cameras back when the boys were little. And I wish the digital images I have now were better organized. But I'm so glad I have them.
Walking around Kathrine Albertson's Park 2003
There are so many moments we share with our children. Since Nick's death, I have vowed never to squander those moments. Each moment counts. Each day counts. Each hug counts. I listen to more music with Nate. I dance with Naomi. We play board games. We climb ropes. We go on bike rides. I watch Nate as he speeds down a grassy hill on his mountain board. We laugh together. We sit around a camp fire playing Bop It. No day is taken for granted. They are not always perfect. Lord knows, I'm not perfect. We all have our issues and times when we need our space or when we are not so happy with someone in the family. But even in THOSE moments, there are things to remember and love to be shared.
And this is why I blog..... to remember.....
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