Privacy on my public blog is an issue. I know that seems like an oxymoron but it is a very real issue.
I post my own very real emotional thoughts that are very personal in a very public way. I do this because people tell me that what they read helps them in some way. It also gives me a voice where sometimes I feel like I have none. It helps me be heard.
The problem with positing very personal stuff in a very public way is that I can not always control who decides to read my blog. I can share it on Facebook and it allows my friends to know its been posted. Sometimes, on rare occasions, my friends ask if they can share a blog post (which is cool). Then there are other occasions where I block (on facebook) certain people from seeing my posts about a new blog (as a means of protecting them) and yet, Google + sends them a notification that I have posted a blog. Then the same people I am trying to protect end up reading it anyway. There is a 3rd set of people. Those are the people that I didn't intentionally block from reading my posts. They go and read my posts and then take it upon themselves to read what I wrote and then go to the person I was intentionally trying to protect from my thoughts and tell them my blog exists or they stir up trouble.
Here is the deal. My blog is about me. My blog is about how I feel. I do my best not to make it about other people.. even if other people are part of why I am feeling the way I am feeling. I am a storyteller by nature. I share through story. My writing tends to be that kind of style. I talk about what is going on and then how I feel about what is going on. I don't do this as a means to betray or talk bad about anyone. I do not have an ulterior motives. I really just want to express my feelings in a safe environment (my blog). It is always about ME and no one else, even if someone else's name is shared.
Sometimes people who read my blog don't get that. Even when I specifically post a disclaimer, they still find a way to take it personally or worse, take what I have written and go to the person that I might have mentioned and start talking to them about what I have written. I don't know what their motives are. But I wish they would stop to think what their actions are doing. If the person mentioned in my blog wanted to read my blog, they would and they would know what I wrote. If the person I mentioned wanted to have a conversation about my blog, they would come to me and have a conversation. It is not up to a 3rd party reader to read my blog and then go to someone else and question them. It really isn't. If you are curious about what you read, ask me. Do not go to the other person mentioned and ask them. Why? Because you might just be causing that person harm. You might be stirring up some emotional trauma. And mostly because, it's none of your business! What is happening in my life (even if it is made public) is none of your business. Sure you are allowed to read it. You might even be invited to read it (because I put it out there publicly). But it does NOT give you permission to take what you read and go running to someone else and talk to them about it. They likely have no clue what is going on in my head and it wasn't' even about them to begin with. It was about ME! Why can't people understand that? Why do they feel they have to get involved in other people's lives?
Here is another piece of information about my blog. My blog is just a peep hole into big wide world and infinite amount of emotional thoughts I have. My blog is not the be all and end all of my every day life. It is not the entire story (mine or anyone else's). If I am writing about something, you can guarantee there is probably something else going on deeper that you are not aware of. I might over share on my facebook and my blog, but I can guarantee you that I do not share EVERYTHING. Please keep that in mind. For every word I type, there are probably at least a thousand more that I am not typing. The idea that you can read my blog and think you understand what I am going through enough to go and talk about it with a 3rd party as a means of understanding or trying to get another side of the story is ludicrous. Seriously, if you have questions about something I wrote, then by all means, come and talk to me. But don't think you heard my entire story and that you have all of the information you need to go and stir up trouble some place else.
Gah! This is mind boggling to me.
I have tried my hardest to protect the ones I love. Even in protecting them, I get accused of causing trouble. I have tried to research ways on Google + to block specific people from seeing reading my blogs, but I can't. There is no way to do that (that I can find). I can take my name out of search engines. But seriously? I need to do that? You can't just use self-control and stop reading? I can completely lock down my blog and make it private, but then again, it stops the purpose of the blog and prevents other people from learning through my experience.
I realize that by opening up to the public, I also open myself up to ridicule. But the thing is, it's not about how you feel about me that upsets me. It's that you have taken what I have said in my blog and used it to hurt the very people I try to protect. It's that you actively go looking for my blog to read what I wrote and then use it against me. It's that you actively go read my blog and then wait until the work day hours in the middle of a week to contact my husband and stir up shit while he is trying to work. These are the things I have issues with. Grow the fuck up!
(This is the end of my rant/test. This will not be posted on Facebook. I really just needed to vent and to see if I could post this without sharing it on Google +)
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