Sometimes it takes all the courage you can muster to walk through those doors.
Today, I walked back into my regular Weight Watcher's meeting facility. I started this journey back in March 2011. I went for 52 weeks straight and lost 65#. I went longer than that, but the 52 week journey was the original challenge, and actually the 65# came after the 52 weeks. Then when I bonked my head in January of this year, I stopped going and didn't return until April. When I went back in April I weighed in at 193#. I had gained 12 pounds. I went consistently until June 2# when I finally reached my lowest weight (again). Then life happened and I stopped going again.
I really do not have any reason to have stopped going. All I have are excuses. And as discussed several blogs back, my eating habits have gone to hell in a hand basket. However, back at the end of May, I also took a birth control shot with the sole reason of preventing my monthly period from coming while I was on vacation. I knew that this birth control shot could make me gain weight; I just willed it not to. I'm not entirely certain if the shot had anything to do with this round of weight gain or not, but I can tell you that today's weigh in found me at 192#. I'm back up 11 pounds from my lowest point. Ah well.
Those are just numbers on a scale. While they have their place, there is much more to this "getting healthy thing" than what the scale says. However, since I AM in Weight Watchers, there is definitely a scale focus. Reaching "goal" or "life time" means reaching a certain number on a scale.
Before I walked through the doors, Paula, my meeting leader saw me and I could hear her shout "oh my!!" And she quickly came around the corner to welcome me back with a huge hug saying "the rock star has returned". My reply was, "I'm not sure I feel like such a rock star, but I am back." She then went on to brag about how many miles I ran on the trails yesterday. We are friends on Facebook, but she never says anything. But I guess she reads my stuff *laugh* Then as I was weighing in and seeing just how much I have gained, another woman came in for her weigh in and she said, "You look great! You must be getting close to goal!" My reply was, "I'm FAR from close." (Now why couldn't I just take both of these compliments instead of dismissing them??? I have work to do!)
My original goal was set for 148#. Paula suggested that I go to my doctor to see what weight my doctor would be comfortable in saying... "Martha has reached goal." Based on my activity level (and I suppose my muscle mass), Paula believes 148 is too low for me to set as a goal. I also think part of this decision has been on the way my weight has fluctuated and stayed within 10-12# over the last year or so...and not being able to break through that barrier. My lowest weight was 181#. Paula suggested that my goal weight should be 170#. My friend Jenn and I went back to WW this week with the goal of each of us losing 30# which would put me at 162#.
Like I said, these are just numbers on a scale. Another way I judge my weight loss is the Body Mass Index (which can be off a tad because of muscle weight). However, the BMI will tell you if you are morbidly obese, obese, slightly obese, overweight or normal. I remember the day I wet from Morbidly Obese to just Obese. I was ecstatic! *laugh* I would like my BMI readings to say that I am just overweight (which will happen at 174# and normal is 145#..which I haven't seen since I was 19 years old). Maybe that sounds bizarre, but like I said, it doesn't take muscle ratios into account.
I would also like to have more energy and less muscle aches and pains. I would like my skin to clear up. I would like to find my mojo again! *laugh*
So there ya have it. I'm back in Weight Watchers with a doable goal. 30#. Here's to a fun adventure with my friend Jenn and a few others from Facebook!
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