We don't always see eye to eye, but we love each other regardless. Sometimes it's painful to watch her learn her lessons. But it's what she needs in order to be a successful adult. Cutting the apron strings is not always easy, especially with everything she has been through. But cutting those strings is imperative for her to grow and be independent. For example, leaving one belly dance company where we BOTH danced together and letting her go her own way without me because that is what is best for her dance "career". I have been encouraging her to make the step for a while, but she was not ready to let go.. of us dancing together or her sisters in our other company. But eventually, she realized that if she was going to grow as a dancer, she needed to make the change. And I am proud of her for making that tough decision that put her in a situation where she was not entirely comfortable. Now that she has made that decision and is a few days from her first performance with this group, she is very happy with her decision. She has already grown leaps and bounds as a dancer. So proud of her! This summer has been a summer of big decisions for her and those included not just changing belly dance companies but also letting go of voice lessons and a few other things to make room for new things. She had to consider time as well as money spent. I am proud of her choices and her strength.
With all of that said, I am more proud of the kind of of relationship we have. We have had several very important conversations in the last couple of years as she comes into her own strength as a young woman. These conversations included her sexual identity, whether or not to have sex or when she is ready to have sex, birth control and all sorts of things. Of course before any of that happened, this conversation started from when she was little tiny. I have always been very open about what being a woman means and comes with. I have always been open about sexuality with her. I wanted to make sure that door was open so she would feel safe to walk through it when the time was right. And it worked. Time and time again, she has walked through that door and has come to me with questions or concerns. She doesn't ALWAYS come to me. Sometimes she goes to other trusted adults. Sometimes she goes to friends. But she has come to me so many times and knows there is no judgment there...just love and help and positive guidance.
Today it hit me as very surreal. She was having some female issues that required a doctor's visit. Everything is fine. But before they called her back, I asked her if she wanted me to go in the room with her or if she wanted to go alone. It is, after all, her body (not mine). Since it was someone she didn't know, she asked me to go with her. While I was in the room with her, the PA asked her some very personal questions (which I already knew the answers to), and Omi was able to answer them without me blinking an eye..without worry of judgment.
As we drove home, it hit me how special our relationship is. I am so grateful that I have managed to foster this kind of relationship with my daughter. It is so different than what I had with my own mom. I remember having worries about my female health and being scared as I went to the doctors alone. But Naomi was comfortable coming to me and allowed me there in her space and wanted me there. That is special. And I am grateful.
I'm certainly not a perfect parent. Though I am grateful I have done at least one thing right :).
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