So do you? And how do you define yourself? How do you really know who you are? Does it change depending on who you are around or is there a core sense of who you are that doesn't change? Is there a particular person in your life that really shakes you and makes you think twice about who you are? Are you swayed easily? Are you a people pleaser and find yourself changing certain things to make other people happy..or wishing you were someone else or like someone else to make someone happy?
I think at some point in our lives, we have all felt like this.
One lesson I have been taught (and that I try very hard to remember in my moments of doubt and frustration) is that people come into our lives for a reason. They are here to teach us something or vise versa. I have also been told that people are just mirrors of us. So if something about that person irritates us, they are just reflecting a part of us that irritates us. So when people come into my life and things get stirred up, I try very hard to remember this and ask myself, "What is it about them that reflects a part of me that I am not happy with?" But what if we can't find the answer?
What if we look at that person and all we see is stuff that seems positive from the outside and stuff you generally like and do anyway, yet that person still gets under your skin? Is it a matter of learning acceptance?
Generally people say, if that person really affects you negatively, then let go of them. But what if the situation is such that you can't? What if it is more complicated than that? What if you have let them go and yet they keep coming back..obviously for a reason... a lesson you haven't learned yet and you need to learn it. So how do you do that? For that matter, how do you figure out what you are suppose to learn so that you CAN learn it?
I'm the kind of person who is open to learning these lessons. I *want* to learn. I *want* to accept. I have a true desire to see the beauty in all things and in all opportunities. But I'm not gonna lie, it can be down right painful and frustrating!
As women we are brought up in such a culture that teaches us that everything is a competition between women. Heck, even men are taught that competition is everything (just look at the love affair with competitive sports). Yet in my spiritual and business practice, I have learned that there is no such thing as competition. There is enough for everyone. But the basic core of what I was taught as a child..."You gotta think, act, look a certain way in order to be accepted by boys, peers, teachers......." You gotta be smarter. You gotta be prettier. Your smile needs to be brighter and whiter. And if you are not, and someone else is chosen by the boy of your dreams, the job you are applying for, your best friend....you are heart broken and feel as though you are not enough. And what happens when that competition is just inside of you. You compete against yourself to get stronger, faster, better and you struggle to meet those goals and again you don't feel "good enough".
I'm not going to lie. This is something I have been dealing with (on several different levels) for a little while now. I have all of these amazing things that people would die for in my life. I have much to be grateful for. So some would say this feeling of "not enough" or "not good enough" is based on lack of gratitude for what I do have. Some would say it is based on jealousy which comes from insecurity. Some would say, "Martha, for Pete's sake, go for a run, you will feel better!" (Which is probably the real truth in all of it...but I'm sick and I can't. So here I sit with diarrhea of the mouth. *laugh*)
The other day I took a personality quiz based on some Jungian thoughts. It compares your personality to that of an animal (based on a test you took). Mine compared me to a dog: "ENFJs are social butterflies who are cheerleaders and supporters of a wide variety of friends and acquaintances. They hate bullying and they love to greet their loved ones with a face lick and a tail wag. They feel good when the people around them feel good, and they tend to adapt to the group that they are in very quickly, even adopting the values of whoever they are surrounded by. They are loyal and expect loyalty from others--think of them as the living embodiment of a 'team player.'" The letters ENFJ basically means I am an extrovert that relies on intuition for information and uses my feelings/emotions/empath while making decisions and in my life I would like things to be set and decided rather than flowing.
You can find this test here.
Anyway, this got me thinking. Am I really swayed by those around me? Am I really not as open to the flow of life as I would like to think I am? I do know that I love being around people. I love cheering people on and helping them reach their goals. And honestly, nothing makes me happier than hearing about someone reaching their goals (no matter what those goals are). I am a very loyal friend and I do expect my friends to be loyal to me, and when they are not, I will walk away.
I know that I tend to be a people pleaser. And I do want others to be happy. So I guess I can be swayed by the people around me in order for them to be happy (sometimes even to my detriment). So where is that fine line? Like a dog, who adores its master, I will do just about anything to make the person I love happy cause all I want in return is to be loved by that person. And like a dog, I thrive on the positive feedback of the people around me. And like a dog, if I feel as though I am not getting that positive feed back or if I am feeling threatened or neglected, I will act out. *laugh*
Every day this life teaches us something about ourselves. And I really try to be open to the teachable moments, even if they are painful. It's vitally important that we become honest with ourselves; this is the only way we can heal and grow and become better. And for those of us holding on to extra baggage known as weight, this is the only way we can truly let go of it for good.
So what do I know about myself? I know that in general I live a life of gratitude and happiness. I am stronger than I think I am. I am beautiful on the inside and out. I am creative. I am passionate. I am compassionate. I am talented. I am a loving and caring individual. I am empathetic. I'm intelligent and intuitive. I love people. I love being around people. I am loyal to a fault. I love quickly and deeply. I'm stubborn and I want people to see things my way and I like things a certain way. I like predictability. I like labels cause they put things in order. I like to know what is expected of me and I like people to know what I expect of them. I love communication and lack there of scares the hell out of me. When I recognize a fear of mine, I really do try to face it head on. I do not let people tell me what I can and can't do. If you tell me that something is impossible, I am likely to do it just to prove you wrong. So go ahead, dare me! I love adventure. I love being active. I love nature and playing in nature. I would totally live my life on a nudist beach or in a nudist colony if I thought the rest of the world would not think twice about it (that includes my entire family). I love music and dancing. I'm a hugger...dogs lick and wag tails, I hug! I'm touchy feely. I'm a hopeless romantic. I am deeply sensitive. I love to laugh. I love to grow, even if the process is painful. I love a good challenge. Unfortunately, I still long for the approval of others and how I feel about myself sometimes depends on how others treat me or how I *THINK* they feel about me (I'm working on that). I'm pretty liberal in the way I view relationships and life. However, I can also be very old-fashioned. (What can I say, I'm a conundrum.)
Here's to continual growth, learning and awareness.....yours and mine :)
Friday, November 22, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Big Goals Require Even Greater Gratitude
Last Friday, I went on my long slow training run that was scheduled for 24 miles. From start to finish, it ended up at 24.75 miles.
Why so many miles? Well, I had a change of plan. I had originally decided to train for a 50 mile race in March. Then while talking to another running friend on Facebook about the possibility of her doing 100 miles during the same race I had planned on doing 50, my interest was peaked. What *if* I could do a 100 miler instead of a 50 miler? I have not registered for the race yet. And honestly, the idea of jumping from a 50K to a 50 miler was a little scary, and the idea of jumping from a 50K to 100 miles is deathly scary! So I decided to look up training plans for a 100 mile race. My plan? Train as if I am going to do the 100 miles and when I get closer to race time, check in with my body and make the decision then. The goal is to push myself, not to injure myself. Train smart, race smarter! But it's still scary!
The first 10 miles of my training run were gorgeous and I was feeling so incredibly strong! I was very happy to be out there running and enjoy my day out in nature. My knee that has been speaking to me, was not speaking to me while I ran. My body was feeling great! By mile 14 or so, my back was beginning to hurt. My legs were beginning to cramp up. I was getting tired, and in that moment, I had this huge fear.....
"Going from a marathon of 26.2 miles to a 50K of 31/32 miles is 'easy'. I mean its only another 5 or 6 miles. But the training plans for a 50 mile race have my longest training run at 30 miles. There is a HUGE jump from 30 miles to 50 miles! How is my body going to handle that? Then I *think* I want to do 100 miles? My longest training run for my 100 mile training plan is 30 miles. It's an even bigger jump from 30 miles to 100 miles! I am crazy! I am never going to be able to do this! Even with back to back long run training days, training my legs to run on tired legs, HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS???? This seems impossible! How do people do this? I'm crazy to even *think* I can do this!"
Then, in that moment of serious doubt, depression, fear, my iPod decided to play one of my favorite songs from a punk rock band called Set It Off. I know the young men in this band; they stayed at my house one day. I have seen them twice in concert. They are amazing. And their song "Dream Catcher" played in just the right moment. (Please take a moment to listen to it, it truly is a magnificent song.)
My iPod must have known exactly what I needed. Of course, it followed this song with another very inspirational song about following your dreams. (I have a bunch of those.) Anyway, I was able to keep pushing through the pain, or what I thought was pain. Even my knee decided to talk to me a bit, and I just said, "Yes, I hear you and we are stronger than we think we are so let's just keep going." And I finished my 24.75 miles. I won't lie. I was disappointed in my time, in some regards, but not in others. I want to increase my marathon finishing time to 6 hours. But the 100 mile race I would like to finish with a 20 min/mile pace. Those are two very different goals and training for those are two very different things. I need to remember that. But most of all, I need to be very grateful for my body and the ability to do ANY of this.
Then today, I went back to church for the first time in very long time. Since this is November, of course the message was on gratitude. It really hit home for me when it comes to training for my races and what I was feeling in the dark moment of my long run last Friday. It also spoke to some stuff that Tracy and I went through this week in our relationship. I wanted to take a moment to share these thoughts with you.
Rev. Jackie mentioned a TED talk about Gratitude done by a monk (I think); I do not remember his name. But there were 3 steps in which he mentioned how you could change your life through gratitude....even in the midst of pain. (Let's face it, it's really easy to be grateful when life is fantastic, but it is something completely different to feel genuine gratitude in the midst of a very challenging time.
1) Recognize the gift (opportunity) that is being given to you. (Yes, even if it feels as though it is coming in the form of some kind of pain.
2) Acknowledge the gift. This is not always easy, especially in the midst of pain. In order to acknowledge it, we need to step outside of ourselves (as an act of will) to be able to see things from a different perspective.
3) Welcome the gift. Open your arms wide and accept it. Be receptive with your whole heart. You need to be wide open and vulnerable. Being grateful does not protect us from pain but it will make us stronger so that we can deal with the pain. We will feel all of the pain, but we will also feel so much more gratitude!
So in the midst of the dark part of my training where I doubted everything. I heard the voices of people I know who say, "Maybe you should stick to the 50 miler; that's big enough isn't it. I don't think you are ready for 100 miles." When my body hurt and it started to believe that I am smaller and weaker than I truly am, I had the song come on to remind me to step outside of myself and what I was feeling in that moment and look at where I have come from. Take note of how strong I truly am. This life, my running, is a gift and an opportunity for me to grow not just in physical strength but in every area of my life. Not every one gets this opportunity, and who am I to squander it by believing I am smaller than I am...by believing that I am a limited being. Everything is possible! Infinite possibilities reside in this body and I am grateful and open to them all!
This week while Tracy and I were going through some stuff that brought up memories from a particularly difficult time in our marriage, for the very first time, I was able to stop and look outside of myself and look at things from a different perspective. Then I was able to look on from a place of compassion and gratitude. It was an amazing experience. Then when Rev. Jackie spoke today, she spoke about the exact steps that I went through in order to change things around, and I wanted to share them with you.....
1) Stop..... pay attention to what is going on. Pay attention to what you are feeling.
2) Look.....at it and open your hearts for the opportunity to work with and through you.
3) Go....Live your lives and take the opportunities that life gives you! You must do it and enjoy it even if it is a bit difficult.
Sometimes the memory of a painful moment is the opportunity to learn something and to be grateful. Sometimes it's the opportunity to practice compassion. Sometimes it's an opportunity to learn that you are much stronger than you believe you are! Don't let those opportunities pass you by! Grab them with all of your strength and live your life to the fullest with a heart full of gratitude and keep moving forward! This is the way to change your life. This is the way to change the world. This is the way to finish a 100 mile race...even when your longest training run is only 30 miles!!!
Set It Off- Dream Catcher (Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/v/gx-2n4SHepc?version=3&autohide=1&feature=share&showinfo=1&autohide=1&attribution_tag=KaLr4rz8A_4lS-jsDHeSSQ&autoplay=1
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Slow Down.......
Yes, I know that is something you don't usually hear from a runner, especially one who is trying to get her speed up.
This morning was quite the morning! You know what they say about the best laid plans.....
I had a plan. Take Tracy to work then go run 6 miles along the unpaved section of the Greenbelt off of Eagle Rd then head home to shower/change before heading to my Weight Watchers meeting. Just as we were about to leave the house, Tracy started getting emergency texts from work. This required that we hang out at home while he fixed some issues at work before we even left the house. This put me an hour behind my schedule. Just in case I ran out of time, I went and grabbed an extra shirt and extra jacket to change into for my meeting. Finally, we were able to leave, but I saw the time. I'm very glad I grabbed the extra clothes!
On my training schedule, today was 6 miles on flats with my 5:1 timing. I had just killed my legs last night in a tough 5 mile run so my body was not very happy about today's running. It was a hard day today. I was beginning to get discouraged, but then I just had to chalk the day up to a slow running day and not quitting (even though I had all these excuses...like getting to my meeting on time...to quit.) Instead, I just kept plugging along. I needed to get my 6 miles in, regardless of time. So I just switched my attitude and kept on going and enjoyed the leaves falling on my head. As soon as I allowed myself to slow down and enjoy the run/walk, things went much better!
What I found while running today was so much love! There was so much of it, it was falling from the skies and piling up on the trails!
I finished my run just in time to rush off to Weight Watchers, throw on a tshirt over my base layer, get weighed in and only be 2 minutes late to the meeting! Whew! Thank god there were no cops doing speed checks along the roads!
In the meeting I found out that this month's focus is to SLOW DOWN! Put our forks down and sip water between bites. But this can be taken even further. As my leader says, "Slow down between bites of life!" We do not have to go at break neck speeds all of the time. This is true for everything we do in life (including running).
The holidays are upon us and with all of the parties, shopping, working, kids school holiday performances, and just general life, things can get very busy. It would behoove us to slow down. Take a moment to take some deep breaths. Don't lose sight of the things that are important in life. Remember to take time to take care of ourselves. Eat right. Get some exercise. Do things that make us smile and help us relax. Instead of having a short temper when a car cuts you off on the high way, give that person a break; you have no idea what that person is going through. Be patient. Be reflective. Take it easy and just slow down a bit.
Here's to a peaceful holiday season and taking time to smell the Christmas trees :)
This morning was quite the morning! You know what they say about the best laid plans.....
I had a plan. Take Tracy to work then go run 6 miles along the unpaved section of the Greenbelt off of Eagle Rd then head home to shower/change before heading to my Weight Watchers meeting. Just as we were about to leave the house, Tracy started getting emergency texts from work. This required that we hang out at home while he fixed some issues at work before we even left the house. This put me an hour behind my schedule. Just in case I ran out of time, I went and grabbed an extra shirt and extra jacket to change into for my meeting. Finally, we were able to leave, but I saw the time. I'm very glad I grabbed the extra clothes!
On my training schedule, today was 6 miles on flats with my 5:1 timing. I had just killed my legs last night in a tough 5 mile run so my body was not very happy about today's running. It was a hard day today. I was beginning to get discouraged, but then I just had to chalk the day up to a slow running day and not quitting (even though I had all these excuses...like getting to my meeting on time...to quit.) Instead, I just kept plugging along. I needed to get my 6 miles in, regardless of time. So I just switched my attitude and kept on going and enjoyed the leaves falling on my head. As soon as I allowed myself to slow down and enjoy the run/walk, things went much better!
What I found while running today was so much love! There was so much of it, it was falling from the skies and piling up on the trails!
I finished my run just in time to rush off to Weight Watchers, throw on a tshirt over my base layer, get weighed in and only be 2 minutes late to the meeting! Whew! Thank god there were no cops doing speed checks along the roads!
In the meeting I found out that this month's focus is to SLOW DOWN! Put our forks down and sip water between bites. But this can be taken even further. As my leader says, "Slow down between bites of life!" We do not have to go at break neck speeds all of the time. This is true for everything we do in life (including running).
The holidays are upon us and with all of the parties, shopping, working, kids school holiday performances, and just general life, things can get very busy. It would behoove us to slow down. Take a moment to take some deep breaths. Don't lose sight of the things that are important in life. Remember to take time to take care of ourselves. Eat right. Get some exercise. Do things that make us smile and help us relax. Instead of having a short temper when a car cuts you off on the high way, give that person a break; you have no idea what that person is going through. Be patient. Be reflective. Take it easy and just slow down a bit.
Here's to a peaceful holiday season and taking time to smell the Christmas trees :)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Are you HWP, BBW, BHM, BMW, FFA, or FA? Do you even know what they mean?
What kind of labels do you give yourself and what does that say about you?
I will admit it, every once in a while I get on the Craigslist Personal Ads and peruse. Being a bisexual woman, sometimes, I think I would like a girlfriend, but I rarely respond to any of these ads. I would rather let things happen naturally (but that would mean I would need to hang out with other bisexual women, and well most don't advertise it with a label on their shirt)! Anyway, mostly I just look through the personals and say to myself, "What the heck does THAT mean, and how would I even answer that question?"
Last week, I came across an ad that sounded very interesting. She seemed like a woman I could hang out with. However, in her request for women to respond, she asked that they be HWP. That got me thinking about these labels:
HWP = Height Weight Proportionate (usually meaning someone who fits the usual BMI chart of what is healthy)
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman (usually reserved for women who are obese...or at least that is the way it is understood when looking at it)
BHM = Big Handsome Man
BMW = Big Mexican Woman (So I supposed BBW could also stand for Big Black Woman? *shrug*)
FFA = Fat Female Admirer or Female Fat Admirer
FA = Fat Admirer
When I read that lady's request for a HWP female, it made me think about MY body. I am 5'4"(ish) and weigh 190# (ish). According to BMI charts that is obese and NOT HWP. According to those charts, I should be 5'4" weighing in at the heaviest part at 145#. However, I am a size 10 or 12 depending on the clothing. My friends tell me I look "tiny" (though I think that is probably an exaggeration and certainly not a word I would use to describe myself). However, I would never describe myself as a BBW (that is the way I used to describe myself at a size 18, 20, 22 and 24). What I do know is that I am an ultra marathoner, I am healthy fit and strong. I do have some extra fat I could stand to lose and some extra skin from having lost the weight I have already lost. I have a body that has had 3 c-sections so there are those affects on my body as well. So ya.....just wasn't sure how to respond to that woman's post and it gave me pause......
All of these acronyms and descriptions are based on someones appearance. While I understand that most people of the world have attraction to certain physical types (or quite the opposite and are completely turned off by certain physical types), I wonder what the world would be like if we placed personal ads that did NOT have any type of physical descriptions at all. What if we placed personal ads strictly based on our personal attitudes, out look on life, personal interests, hobbies, spiritual beliefs, political beliefs. What if we posted about the personality characteristics that we find sexy? What if we posted about what we thought were our best personality characteristics? What would happen if we chose to tell a story about a time that we overcame one of our fears or about one of our greatest adventures or something we were most proud of? How would the dating world be different?
Here is my challenge to you. I don't care if you are married, single, have multiple relationships or just aren't interested in a relationship. I challenge you to write a personals ad (even if its just for your own personal review) describing yourself without describing any of your personal traits. Also include what you are looking for in a mate without describing personal traits. See what you can come up with. And if you are brave enough..if you are looking for someone to date, post that ad on a place like Craigslist and see what happens.
I will admit it, every once in a while I get on the Craigslist Personal Ads and peruse. Being a bisexual woman, sometimes, I think I would like a girlfriend, but I rarely respond to any of these ads. I would rather let things happen naturally (but that would mean I would need to hang out with other bisexual women, and well most don't advertise it with a label on their shirt)! Anyway, mostly I just look through the personals and say to myself, "What the heck does THAT mean, and how would I even answer that question?"
Last week, I came across an ad that sounded very interesting. She seemed like a woman I could hang out with. However, in her request for women to respond, she asked that they be HWP. That got me thinking about these labels:
HWP = Height Weight Proportionate (usually meaning someone who fits the usual BMI chart of what is healthy)
BBW = Big Beautiful Woman (usually reserved for women who are obese...or at least that is the way it is understood when looking at it)
BHM = Big Handsome Man
BMW = Big Mexican Woman (So I supposed BBW could also stand for Big Black Woman? *shrug*)
FFA = Fat Female Admirer or Female Fat Admirer
FA = Fat Admirer
When I read that lady's request for a HWP female, it made me think about MY body. I am 5'4"(ish) and weigh 190# (ish). According to BMI charts that is obese and NOT HWP. According to those charts, I should be 5'4" weighing in at the heaviest part at 145#. However, I am a size 10 or 12 depending on the clothing. My friends tell me I look "tiny" (though I think that is probably an exaggeration and certainly not a word I would use to describe myself). However, I would never describe myself as a BBW (that is the way I used to describe myself at a size 18, 20, 22 and 24). What I do know is that I am an ultra marathoner, I am healthy fit and strong. I do have some extra fat I could stand to lose and some extra skin from having lost the weight I have already lost. I have a body that has had 3 c-sections so there are those affects on my body as well. So ya.....just wasn't sure how to respond to that woman's post and it gave me pause......
All of these acronyms and descriptions are based on someones appearance. While I understand that most people of the world have attraction to certain physical types (or quite the opposite and are completely turned off by certain physical types), I wonder what the world would be like if we placed personal ads that did NOT have any type of physical descriptions at all. What if we placed personal ads strictly based on our personal attitudes, out look on life, personal interests, hobbies, spiritual beliefs, political beliefs. What if we posted about the personality characteristics that we find sexy? What if we posted about what we thought were our best personality characteristics? What would happen if we chose to tell a story about a time that we overcame one of our fears or about one of our greatest adventures or something we were most proud of? How would the dating world be different?
Here is my challenge to you. I don't care if you are married, single, have multiple relationships or just aren't interested in a relationship. I challenge you to write a personals ad (even if its just for your own personal review) describing yourself without describing any of your personal traits. Also include what you are looking for in a mate without describing personal traits. See what you can come up with. And if you are brave enough..if you are looking for someone to date, post that ad on a place like Craigslist and see what happens.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Trail Running is Always an Adventure
The adventure isn't always about the run itself, but sometimes it's about gear and goals.
The Shoe Drama Continues...Hopefully This Is The End.....
A while back (in the middle of my shoe drama) my friend, Tina, suggested I try Altra shoes. They are a minimalist trail running shoe with a zero drop. Which basically means it has no real arch support and is close to running barefooted. I wasn't entirely certain I wanted to try those shoes since I knew I needed arch support (but then again, I also run with hard plastic orthotics). Anyway, ignoring her suggestion, I bought those crazy looking Rebock all terrain shoes. What a disaster that was. I ran 35 miles in them. My last run with them was a 10 mile run along an unpaved section of the greenbelt. I could feel every single step and the little knobs on the bottom of the those ended up being pressure points every time my foot hit the pavement. And in the end, the sole of the shoe itself ended up being too flexible (which means they wore out in 35 miles).
Right after finishing my 10 mile run that day, I went to the Pulse shoe store to drop off some donated clothes. While I was there, Beth, the sales clerk, asked me if I wanted to try the Altras. She knows I have issues with shoes, and she remembered the thread on Facebook where someone suggested it. As it turned out, as soon as they came into the store, she thought they would be a good shoe for me. Sweaty, tired and stinky, I agreed to sit down and try on these size 9, zero drop, minimalist trail running shoes. They have a wider toe box (which was the biggest perk for my wide feet) and since they are zero drop with no arch support, they provide a deeper foot bed for my foot and my insert to fit in without my heal lifting out of he shoe when I walk/run. They felt amazing. I went back the next day and bought the very bright shoes. They have a 2 week refund policy, and I knew I had a 20 mile trail run planned for the next day. These shoes would have a trail by fire!
Swan Falls Dam to Celebration Park and Back 22 Mile Loop.....
Ever since I heard about this loop last year, I have wanted to run this loop. I love Swan Falls Dam and the Snake River Canyon. It's just gorgeous. And since my running girlfriends had planned this little trip, there was no way I was going to miss it. With my brand new bright orange Altras I met the girls at 7:45 am to make the 45 minute drive to the Canyon. It was cool and crisp and looked like it would be the perfect day for a 22 mile run!
After getting a group shot, it didn't take long for the group to spread apart and settle into our own paces. Andrea and Tina took off. Andrea was working on getting her last long training run in before her 50 mile race. She needed to run faster and get more miles in than the rest of us. Dondi, Joyce and Lori stayed several yards a head of Mary and I but generally were within eye sight of us. We did stop and meet each other to take some fun pictures at one of the stone house. This trail was so gorgeous and had such a rich history; it would have been a shame not to stop and take the pictures!
At the mid-way point (Celebration Park), Mary and I stopped to take care of her blistered feet. Dondi, Joyce and Lori took off as soon as we got to the park. And while Mary was finishing up with her feet, Andrea and Tina took off too. Again, Mary and I were on our own and made our way across the river on this really cool bridge that used to be a rail way bridge.
The trail on the North side of the River would appear then disappear. I tried my hardest to follow foot prints. Neither Mary nor I had ever been on this trail and I had no idea this run would have me playing the role of tracker trying to track our running buddies up ahead. It was pretty entertaining. There were parts of this trail that were down right scary. Mary had to sit on her bum to get down a particularly steep part of the trail. Then once when we caught up with Dondi, Joyce and Lori, we all had to cross a creek then crawl/climb on all fours up a steep rocky stretch up the trail onto a ridge. Poor Mary was behind me and the rocks beneath my feet kept on rolling. Thank god none of them hit her!
Dondi pointed out some really cool petroglyphs that I had been excited to see. (Like I said.. a rich history!)
I have no idea what was up with this trail. But every rock on the trail tried to trip me. One of them actually succeeded and I fell to the ground and kept rolling landing on my back. Mary was behind me and was a bit worried. We all worry about me hitting my head again. Or even just jarring my brain (without hitting it). After checking my tights and my long sleeves and the palms of my hands, I decided I was okay. Nothing was ripped and my head seemed fine. Off we went running again.
Like I said, the trail kept disappearing and we found ourselves bush whacking our way through sticker bushes and tumble weeds and climbing up big ol' boulders through boulder fields. Mary and I lost our way several times. But I just kept saying, as long as we follow the river, we know we will be okay. We just had to get to the dam which is on the river. But some how, toward the end of the run, we managed to find ourselves up on the cliff, passed the dam and did not see a trail to get us down. Mary and I found ourselves scaling the edge of the steep cliff to get down to the trail below us to cross the dam. It was certainly an adventure!
Now I want to go back and start by crossing the dam and go backwards and see if I can find the actual trail that doesn't require scaling the cliff :). Soon.
Adventures of BIG Goals.....
I have already set a goal to do my first 50 mile race in March. However, I found myself in a Facebook conversation with a friend who was asking about the 100 mile distance that is being offered at the same race in which I wanted to do the 50 miles. (Neither of us have ever done a 100 mile race.) During this conversation, I told my friend that in order to do the actual 100 mile race which has a 32 hour cut off, she only needed to do a little over 3 miles an hour to reach that goal. (That was after she said, she could easily walk a 15 minute mile..which is 4 miles per hour.) I have never been someone to discourage someone from following their goals. I believe anything and everything is possible....especially with running goals. All you have to do is have your head and your heart in the right place and train properly. Yes, these races are huge challenges, and I respect the mental and physical strength and fortitude it takes to complete these huge goals, but I do believe anything is possible. Maybe that is a Pollyanna attitude, but its the truth. As a matter of fact, I am a good example of this.
Anyway, after a conversation with someone else, I had to go back and read this entire thread. My other friend said that I had said that this 100 mile race on flat ground would be "easy"...and I never said that. (I had to re-read the thread to verify that.)
What I do believe is.......no matter what goal you set for yourself, as long as you train (put your work in) and BELIEVE it is possible, then that is half the battle. No matter what your goal is, there are going to be obstacles. There are going to be nay sayers. There are going to be doubters. But if you want to reach your goal, you need to stay focused on what YOU believe, stay positive and keep moving forward! In the case of distance running, you also need to listen to your body to make sure you do not injure yourself. You need to train smart. But don't ever let someone else's limitations keep you from reaching your goals. You need to run your own race...not anyone else's. Just because someone else may not be up for the challenge, doesn't mean you are not. Just because someone thinks something is difficult, doesn't mean it needs to be difficult for you. At the same time, just because someone thinks something is EASY doesn't mean it is going to be easy for you too. You can reach for a huge, scary goal and still be realistic. Only you know what you are capable of, and you should surround yourself with people who believe in you and will support your goals! So go for it!!! And don't ever look back!
This life is an adventure and its meant to be lived fully!!! Get out there and live it!
The Shoe Drama Continues...Hopefully This Is The End.....
A while back (in the middle of my shoe drama) my friend, Tina, suggested I try Altra shoes. They are a minimalist trail running shoe with a zero drop. Which basically means it has no real arch support and is close to running barefooted. I wasn't entirely certain I wanted to try those shoes since I knew I needed arch support (but then again, I also run with hard plastic orthotics). Anyway, ignoring her suggestion, I bought those crazy looking Rebock all terrain shoes. What a disaster that was. I ran 35 miles in them. My last run with them was a 10 mile run along an unpaved section of the greenbelt. I could feel every single step and the little knobs on the bottom of the those ended up being pressure points every time my foot hit the pavement. And in the end, the sole of the shoe itself ended up being too flexible (which means they wore out in 35 miles).
Right after finishing my 10 mile run that day, I went to the Pulse shoe store to drop off some donated clothes. While I was there, Beth, the sales clerk, asked me if I wanted to try the Altras. She knows I have issues with shoes, and she remembered the thread on Facebook where someone suggested it. As it turned out, as soon as they came into the store, she thought they would be a good shoe for me. Sweaty, tired and stinky, I agreed to sit down and try on these size 9, zero drop, minimalist trail running shoes. They have a wider toe box (which was the biggest perk for my wide feet) and since they are zero drop with no arch support, they provide a deeper foot bed for my foot and my insert to fit in without my heal lifting out of he shoe when I walk/run. They felt amazing. I went back the next day and bought the very bright shoes. They have a 2 week refund policy, and I knew I had a 20 mile trail run planned for the next day. These shoes would have a trail by fire!
Swan Falls Dam to Celebration Park and Back 22 Mile Loop.....
Ever since I heard about this loop last year, I have wanted to run this loop. I love Swan Falls Dam and the Snake River Canyon. It's just gorgeous. And since my running girlfriends had planned this little trip, there was no way I was going to miss it. With my brand new bright orange Altras I met the girls at 7:45 am to make the 45 minute drive to the Canyon. It was cool and crisp and looked like it would be the perfect day for a 22 mile run!
After getting a group shot, it didn't take long for the group to spread apart and settle into our own paces. Andrea and Tina took off. Andrea was working on getting her last long training run in before her 50 mile race. She needed to run faster and get more miles in than the rest of us. Dondi, Joyce and Lori stayed several yards a head of Mary and I but generally were within eye sight of us. We did stop and meet each other to take some fun pictures at one of the stone house. This trail was so gorgeous and had such a rich history; it would have been a shame not to stop and take the pictures!
At the mid-way point (Celebration Park), Mary and I stopped to take care of her blistered feet. Dondi, Joyce and Lori took off as soon as we got to the park. And while Mary was finishing up with her feet, Andrea and Tina took off too. Again, Mary and I were on our own and made our way across the river on this really cool bridge that used to be a rail way bridge.
The trail on the North side of the River would appear then disappear. I tried my hardest to follow foot prints. Neither Mary nor I had ever been on this trail and I had no idea this run would have me playing the role of tracker trying to track our running buddies up ahead. It was pretty entertaining. There were parts of this trail that were down right scary. Mary had to sit on her bum to get down a particularly steep part of the trail. Then once when we caught up with Dondi, Joyce and Lori, we all had to cross a creek then crawl/climb on all fours up a steep rocky stretch up the trail onto a ridge. Poor Mary was behind me and the rocks beneath my feet kept on rolling. Thank god none of them hit her!
Dondi pointed out some really cool petroglyphs that I had been excited to see. (Like I said.. a rich history!)
I have no idea what was up with this trail. But every rock on the trail tried to trip me. One of them actually succeeded and I fell to the ground and kept rolling landing on my back. Mary was behind me and was a bit worried. We all worry about me hitting my head again. Or even just jarring my brain (without hitting it). After checking my tights and my long sleeves and the palms of my hands, I decided I was okay. Nothing was ripped and my head seemed fine. Off we went running again.
Like I said, the trail kept disappearing and we found ourselves bush whacking our way through sticker bushes and tumble weeds and climbing up big ol' boulders through boulder fields. Mary and I lost our way several times. But I just kept saying, as long as we follow the river, we know we will be okay. We just had to get to the dam which is on the river. But some how, toward the end of the run, we managed to find ourselves up on the cliff, passed the dam and did not see a trail to get us down. Mary and I found ourselves scaling the edge of the steep cliff to get down to the trail below us to cross the dam. It was certainly an adventure!
Now I want to go back and start by crossing the dam and go backwards and see if I can find the actual trail that doesn't require scaling the cliff :). Soon.
Adventures of BIG Goals.....
I have already set a goal to do my first 50 mile race in March. However, I found myself in a Facebook conversation with a friend who was asking about the 100 mile distance that is being offered at the same race in which I wanted to do the 50 miles. (Neither of us have ever done a 100 mile race.) During this conversation, I told my friend that in order to do the actual 100 mile race which has a 32 hour cut off, she only needed to do a little over 3 miles an hour to reach that goal. (That was after she said, she could easily walk a 15 minute mile..which is 4 miles per hour.) I have never been someone to discourage someone from following their goals. I believe anything and everything is possible....especially with running goals. All you have to do is have your head and your heart in the right place and train properly. Yes, these races are huge challenges, and I respect the mental and physical strength and fortitude it takes to complete these huge goals, but I do believe anything is possible. Maybe that is a Pollyanna attitude, but its the truth. As a matter of fact, I am a good example of this.
Anyway, after a conversation with someone else, I had to go back and read this entire thread. My other friend said that I had said that this 100 mile race on flat ground would be "easy"...and I never said that. (I had to re-read the thread to verify that.)
What I do believe is.......no matter what goal you set for yourself, as long as you train (put your work in) and BELIEVE it is possible, then that is half the battle. No matter what your goal is, there are going to be obstacles. There are going to be nay sayers. There are going to be doubters. But if you want to reach your goal, you need to stay focused on what YOU believe, stay positive and keep moving forward! In the case of distance running, you also need to listen to your body to make sure you do not injure yourself. You need to train smart. But don't ever let someone else's limitations keep you from reaching your goals. You need to run your own race...not anyone else's. Just because someone else may not be up for the challenge, doesn't mean you are not. Just because someone thinks something is difficult, doesn't mean it needs to be difficult for you. At the same time, just because someone thinks something is EASY doesn't mean it is going to be easy for you too. You can reach for a huge, scary goal and still be realistic. Only you know what you are capable of, and you should surround yourself with people who believe in you and will support your goals! So go for it!!! And don't ever look back!
This life is an adventure and its meant to be lived fully!!! Get out there and live it!
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