I went for a hike today. It was my first long hike since back surgery 14 weeks ago. I decided to hike 5 Mile Gulch to Watchman Trail to Three Bears, to Rocky Canyon Road and back to my car. Somewhere around 6 miles. This route does some climbing; actually there is climbing at the beginning either way I decided to go. I was super stoked to be out hiking in my happy place!
Anyway, I have not done any real climbing since right before surgery. I did 6 miles on Pole Cat right before surgery. That was slow too. But today, was SUPER slow.
I started out on 5 Mile Gulch with a pace of a 25 minute mile. Last year at this time, I was doing this same stretch of trail at a minimum of 18 minutes/mile. Then again, last year I was training for my first ultra marathon and I was in pretty damn good shape (not the BEST shape of my life, but I was strong, healthy and lighter). As I hiked this trail, I started beating myself up. "You are so slow!" "You have gained so much weight!" "You are no where NEAR where you were a year ago!" "You might as well just turn back." Ugh!!!! Seriously! I reached the fork at 5 Mile Gulch and Watchman Trail; its about a mile and a half in and it took me entirely too long. I was so discouraged. But I told myself to keep going. Turning back was just silly.
After throwing a pitty party for myself, I decided to stop worry about pace and just enjoy the fact that I am ABLE to be out there enjoying the beautiful day. The sun had not risen over the mountains yet, so it was still cool and the first signs of Autumn had already fallen onto the ground.
Once I had shifted my focus, my feet felt lighter. I had a skip in my step. I was stopping to take more pictures. I was feeling frisky and I was going over the last couple of years of my life. I was taking stock of all of my accomplishments. I am MORE than the slow pace in which I am hiking. In the last 4 years, I completed 4 marathons, 4 half marathons, a 10K, a couple of 5Ks, and a 50K. I road my bike 400 miles in a week including my first century ride in that week, started belly dancing and have performed numerous times including a duet with my beautiful daughter, and gave birth to my burlesque persona and performed for the first time ever on stage as a solo act. I have done all of this with 3 years of injury: Knee surgery in 2012, head injury in 2013, and my back injury/surgery in 2014. I have had amazing accomplishments that don't even count as official races, like the fact that my training runs just for fun were marathon distances. (That still cracks me up that I have become that person.) I found my love for trail running and have enjoyed the mountains tremendously. I have found a love for cycling and would love to do so much more of it. I found my love for performing as a dancer..either with my belly dancing sisters or putting on sultry music and twirling tassels on stage.....either one makes me extremely happy! Then there are the amazing friends I have gained in the last 4 years. Our amazing 25th wedding anniversary trip to Belize last summer. My amazing trips to Washington to spend time with beautiful people. The trip to Washington DC and Philly this summer where I got to check off several things from my bucket list..including running the Rocky Stairs! My life is truly blessed, and the fact that I get to go out into the mountains during the week, while everyone is at work and I have the beauty all to myself is such a treasure! I have NOTHING to complain about! So I skipped my way along the Watchman Trail. I even had to cross over a couple of small water crossings (if you want to call them that).
And seriously, how many people (on a school day) get to hang out in the mountains and watch the sun rise over the mountains?
I was certainly enjoying my happy place... the mountain trails. Then at about 3 1/2 miles in, my back started to hurt. I felt my enthusiasm for this beautiful hike begin to die down. Just 4 days ago, I was taking a TRX class when I hurt my back and I was concerned that maybe I had re-injured my back in the same spot I had surgery. On Wednesday I was still having a difficult time walking. But here I am on Friday, doing this hike and 3 1/2 miles in, there is no way out. I just have to finish my hike, pain and all.
I started to remind myself that I am still only 14 weeks post op. Sometimes, it can take 6 months to completely heal from the surgery I had. I have to remember that I am human. I am 45 years old. And it takes time to heal. And even with the pain, I am still dancing, I am riding my bike, I am swimming, I do yoga, I ran up the rocky stairs and I'm hiking in my happy place! This too shall pass, and until it does, be grateful for what I do have...which is an amazing life blessed with more opportunities than I can even imagine. Enjoy THIS moment. Stop worrying about what I used to be able to do. Stop worrying about what I might not be able to do again. And focus on what I can do in THIS moment. So I kept walking and taking pictures......enjoying the beauty around me. I even picked up a friend along the way.
I have run these trails before. I have even taken this exact route once before (in the spring during a rain shower while the flowers were in bloom) but it never surprises me to see the vegetation change while I hike. I started in a Gulch with trees over head that gave way to high desert shrubs. But higher up, I could see the pines of the mountains. Then I came out of the lush green Gulch and found myself surrounded by Sages bushes and once at the top of Watchman and reach the Three Bears trail head, I see this beautiful view of my city below and the green trees below the mountains. And when I keep walking, the Sage turns to tall dry grasses until I finally reach the road to hike back to my car.
The short trek up Rocky Canyon Road back to the 5 Mile Gulch trail head where my car was parked was filled with tired gratitude. All I wanted to do was get to my car, sit down, rest my back, and call my hubby and thank him for providing me with such an amazing life and all the time in the world to romp around in my happy place and reconnect with who I truly am.
Life is an adventure, and it is not meant to be lived sitting on a couch with a lap top on my lap. It is meant to be lived outside romping the through the mountains, riding my bike along the greenbelts, and stretching myself and experiencing the present moment and all the gifts and majesty the Universe provides. It is meant to be danced and filled with laughter. And yes, sometimes life requires that I sit still in my house and heal, but that doesn't and shouldn't ever take away from the joy that my life is! Plain and simple!
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