Tracy and I were newly married at just 4 1/2 months in to our marriage. I was pregnant. I was working 2 jobs; one at a baby clothing store, and one in an office. Tracy was working 2 jobs: One at JC Pennies in the appliance section, and one at UPS as a box sorter and truck loader. We were doing everything we possibly could to make ends meet and prepare for the baby that was on his way. To be fair, my second job at the baby clothing store did not last long. But Tracy, he worked his arse off for our family.
Thanks to his work at UPS, we had a free turkey. Thanks to his hard work at JC Penny's we got the biggest pay check we had ever seen in your 19 years of life. I remember it was like $1000. I took that money, and bought us our first Christmas decorations (we still have the "our first Christmas" ornament that we hang on the tree together every year). We bought a Christmas tree and put it in the corner and we took time to decorate it together while the fire crackled in the fire place. And we made a plan. I was going to cook a Christmas Eve dinner while he worked at Pennys. Here's the catch. I didn't know how to cook. The extent of my cooking was opening a can of ravioli, or fallowing the directions on the back of the mac and cheese box, or my famous tuna fish casserole (which Tracy hates). So a big Christmas meal was completely out of my league. That didn't stop me from dreaming. And boy did I dream big. That $1000 check? Part of it went toward a HUGE microwave. My only request in a microwave was that it was big enough to cook the turkey in. Yes, you read that right. I wanted to cook the turkey in the microwave!
The only family we had in town, was my oldest brother Matt and his wife Mary. We made plans for them to join us for Christmas even dinner. I promised them, a meal of turkey, green beans, yams, and Christmas cookies for dessert. (Never mind the fact, that I had NEVER made ANY of this before.)
The day of Christmas Eve came. I pulled out my turkey from the Freezer. Yes.. the turkey was frozen. You can make cook a frozen turkey in the microwave and have it come out delicious right? Right???!!!! I read the directions for cooking a turkey in the microwave. I set it in this large beast of a microwave that took up the entire counter in my small condo kitchen. I set the timer and let it cook. I spent the rest of the day, getting everything else ready to go.
My kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Flour was everywhere. The turkey (which I checked on often) didn't seem to be cooking and I didn't understand why. I was getting worried. Tracy was working and I knew I was going to have to go pick him up after his shift. Matt and Mary were due at our house for a late dinner in a few hours. My sugar cookies were burning. How did my mom make such perfect cookies at the holidays? My canned yams were not so great. The green beans were barely edible (if at all). And the turkey.. well......
I picked up Tracy from work. Matt and Mary showed up. I showed them my turkey. And the first thing Matt said was, "It looks like the Alien!" Indeed it did. Our dinner that night consisted of burnt cookies, horrible yams, and barely edible green beans. I'm pretty certain, Matt and Mary ran through a drive through or something on the way home. LOL I was such a freaking failure.
Turns out, there are pieces and parts of a turkey that are stored inside of his hollowed out breast. And those pieces and parts, are meant to be taken OUT of the turkey before cooking it. It also turns out, that you are supposed to defrost a turkey before cooking it. And most importantly, TURKEYS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE COOKED IN A MICROWAVE, NO MATTER HOW HUGE THAT MICROWAVE IS!
But you know what? We were 19, newly weds, madly in love, excited to be parents in a few short months, and living our lives happily oblivious to the pressures of the outside world. I had (what was left of my family in Texas) with me, and all was right in my world. Life was so simple back then. All we needed was a huge ass microwave, love, and each other.
This holiday season, as you prepare your turkeys (hopefully not in a microwave), I hope you remember the simple things in life. I hope you remember that family (chosen or biological) is what matters. The special times spent together laughing, even if its at the alien turkey or burnt cookies, is the best way to celebrate life. And I hope that you make precious memories that can be remembered and laughed at for decades to come!
Here's to my alien turkey, my hard working husband, amazing memories, lots of love, and the roll fight tradition that will be happening in my house in a few short days!
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