Grief rolls in kind of like an autumn storm system. It rains really heavy; then takes a long enough break for the sun to shine for a bit and rainbows to come out. Then it rains some more.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been in the dark rainy storm, but last week sometime, I got a break in the storm and the rainbow came out!
I am very grateful for my friends. Mishi is finally home from all of her traveling for work. And we are done with our traveling for fun. And we were finally able to hang out! She treated me to lunch a our favorite tea place here in town and we caught up on life. Man have I missed her! She was one of our very first friends here in Idaho. We have been friends for nearly 13 years now! (Never mind some "off time" in the middle.) No matter what happens we are always friends and connected at the heart.
I also had the pleasure of sharing company with my favorite bald man, Brandon. His wife was out of town and he wanted to go see a movie. I hadn't seen him in what seemed like forever. We visited and laughed before the movie. He always makes me laugh so hard. I'm so glad he and his amazing wife move here last year. Actually, at this time last year, we were moving into our new house and Brandon spent hours here with me just goofing off while I was here waiting for Omi to get out of school. Anyway, we saw Straight Out Of Compton. It was a great movie, and there is nothing funnier than watching a white bald man from Texas rapping to the music. LOL.
Then on Friday, my other friend, Tami, invited me out to lunch with her and her boys. What a treat. I love spending time with Tami. Funny, last month, marked 7 years that we first met. Crazy how time flies and how much our lives have changed and evolved since then. I am so grateful for her friendship. I learned more about grief from her than I realized. I had no idea what I observed from her and her family 7 years ago would help me in the future. Here I am now, so grateful for those lessons and for her friendship, compassion, and insights...and her snarky sense of humor that keeps me on my toes. Later that night, Tracy and I joined some other friends at the Gonzalez house for dinner and Cards Against Humanity..more laughter and silliness (just what the doctor ordered).
So that was Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Those were just friend visits. That didn't include the other happenings.
Thursday night, Omi and I worked a concession stand for the Boise High and Capital High football game. I was in charge of a register. This worried me some, but I explained the brain issue and everyone was very patient with me. Over all, I think he brain held it together well and we had a great time working with the other choir peeps in the concession stand. There was lots of laughter and silliness... and we made money for her choir account. However, all that fun came at a cost. The next day while visiting with Tami, my mouth had a very hard time forming words. The brain was not pulling up words, names or memories very well. Trying to hold an intelligent conversation with Tami was difficult. I saw in Tami and Tami's kids faces how hard it was for them to understand what I was trying to say. When I get that look, I know its bad. *sigh* But again, they are awesome.... I just wish the brain would come back.
Unfortunately, that same brain issue continued the rest of the day and that night. That night, Omi and I rehearsed our dances and I could not remember them to save my life. I was terrified that our performance on Saturday was going to be miserable! I almost cancelled.
Saturday morning came. I got up and dressed and Omi and I went to rehears our dances again. I was doing a bit better. I just prayed the brain would hold it together. We got to Hyde Park early so we could walk around. I had my purse, my dance bag and my dancing cane. I stopped in a booth to buy some hair flowers and I accidentally forgot my cane. I did not realize it until we were suppose to be meeting our troupe. I threw my stuff in Omi's arms and took off to look for my cane. But I could no remember where that booth was. Tracy realized that the brain was not working the way it needed to so he chased after me and lead me to exactly where I needed to go. Sure enough, they were holding my cane for me. Now I was frazzled. This was not a good thing 30 minutes before stage time.
Finally back stage waiting with my sisters to dance, and Omi was an emotional mess. Being at Hyde Park was a big trigger for my family. Nick LOVED Hyde Park. He was a HUGE hippy. And just before we went back stage, we ended up at the Atheist booth and they had stickers for Secular Student Alliance. Yup.... we were all affected by this. We miss Nick, and Hyde Park is one big memory of Nick. And all of that right before we went on stage. With lots of hugs and deep breaths, Omi and I collected ourselves and focused on dancing for Nick.
There is just something about dancing at festivals. It always makes me smile. We had a huge crowd watching us. We had little girls sitting at the edge of our stage smiling at us and saying hi to us while we danced. They looked at us with awe. I remember being them when I was little.. and now here I was, one of the women I always wanted to be. Naomi and I dance the intro dance with everyone. Then we were off stage for a dance. Then back on for our duet that was to a song by Bond called Fuego.. in honor of Nick. We danced it near perfectly (thank you brain). We danced 2 other dances, including our class dance (while missing a person) and we danced that nearly perfect (thank you brain). Then the very last dance (my 5th dance for the day) and I messed up a bit. I will take it as a win. My brain made it all the way through before melting down! Yay!!!
After we danced, he girls went and got hair wraps... this is something Nick loved doing. While they took turns in the chair, we all talked and remembered Nick. It was a sweet and fun moment.
It was a long and happy day at the festival. Then it was home to get cleaned up and head out for date night at Red Light Variety Show.
Tracy and I met Linda and her friends on her birthday at the Red Light Variety Show and we laughed some more! It was a great show with great company.
My life is very blessed with some amazing friends. More importantly, it is blessed with an amazing husband who is absolutely sexy, charming, funny, and so very sweet. I love him dearly!!!
Yay for rainbows!!!
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