I'm really hoping this post will not be that long. No one wants to read a blog post that goes over 10 years. I'm sure every blogger out there is working on a decade in review post. That is because it is worth looking back on and evaluating where you were and where you might be going. Is that what a 5 year and a 10 year plan are for? (For the record, I have never had a 5 or 10 year plan, which might be part of the issue for some things.)
Here's the deal, this last decade was not just any decade for me. I went from 40 to 50 years old. Yes, we all got a decade older, but those were significant birthdays. I guess I will start there. My 40th birthday was filled with laughter (literally); I had a laughter yoga instructor there and we laughed our heads off. It was tons of fun. My 50th was quieter. I wanted a huge celebration. I wanted a huge party. I mean it was my half century mark. Instead, I had a little surprise part at the belly dance studio I belonged to, and a quiet family celebration at home. It was a nice birthday, but much different than my 40th. And I'm certain that is because the last decade has been significantly harder and celebrating things just isn't the same as it was in the year 2010.
I will say there were some incredible highs in the last decade. To start, I set a huge goal for myself. I was to finish 52 weeks of weight watchers (You might have read that blog), and I set a goal to do the Honolulu marathon in 2011. I accomplished and surpassed that goal. Reaching that goal set a whole new passion in motion. I fell in love with running. I didn't just do the Honolulu marathon, but I did several more marathons, some half marathons, a 10K a couple of 5Ks and one ultra marathon. I didn't do all of those in 1 year, but I did do them in 2. I was in the best shape of my life, and I was loving life!
I was training for a 100 mile "race" when I ended up with back and knee surgeries followed by a huge concussion that I got while training for a 400 mile bike adventure where I raised over $2000 to help build/repair homes for those in need. I was to ride and help repair homes while on this adventure. The concussion took me out. So later that summer, after training, I decided to ride the 400 miles on my own. It was a beautiful week of riding my bike around some of my favorite roads, trails, and towns. During that time, I rode my first 100 mile bike ride in one day. It was a huge accomplishment that I have not repeated yet. Maybe in 2020...maybe.
In 2014, feeling amazing about my life, I decided to take to the burlesque stage. It was the most empowering thing I had done for myself. I had already started belly dancing in 2011, and burlesque was a form of performance that I had loved for years. I took a group class where we all agreed to perform at the next opportunity. As fate would have it, the rest of the class bailed and I was offered the solo for our routine, and I jumped at the opportunity and the rest was history. Burlesque has literally taken me places I never thought it would take me. I took me and Tracy all the way to England so that I could perform in the Bristol Burlesque Festival. It also took me to Portland, Oregon so that I could perform in a competition, which I didn't win; however the experience was tons of fun, and I wouldn't change it for the world. To this date, I have performed for 5 1/2 years, and I'm not entirely certain I will continue at the end of this season. I feel as though life is pulling me in a different direction, but never say never, right?
2014 had my life crash around me. Our oldest son, Nick, was killed in a motorcycle accident. Life has not been the same without him. The care free joy that was in our house disappeared. Every little victory is colored with the sense of grief of wishing Nick was here to celebrate with us. Yet, we all continue to live, persevere and move forward as best as possible. Each one of us walks a similar path, yet we all have our own paths to walk. My grief took me to some very dark places that landed me in the mental hospital a couple of times. If any of you read my blog on a regular basis, you have seen me vomit my grief all over the internet. And you have seen me claw my way up and out. I appreciate your support and love through it all.
Not all of this blog is in chronological order because life's victories and sadness do not all come in clear and neat ways (at least not for this blog's purposes).
Tracy and I had the immense pleasure of travelling this past decade. Not only did we get to do the usual trips to Florida, Texas, Vegas and Washington, but we also got to make some very long trips to Ecuador, Belize, Canada and England. The only trip that our kids got to join us on, was the trip to Canada, and if you ask them, that was their most favorite family vacation ever, and it was the first real vacation after Nick's death. It is certainly one of our favorite trips; we had so much fun with Nate and Omi Girl. There were tons of adventures and laughter. The trip to Belize was to celebrate mine and Tracy's 25th wedding anniversary. It was a huge bucket list for me, and it was the perfect trip. It is certainly one will will always remember, and I can honestly say that trip found me at my happiest with life. Our trip to Ecuador was a fun and unexpected adventure. It wasn't a surprise, but the way in which it happened was unexpected and a true adventure. We had an acquaintance turned friend who had a home there and offered it to anyone who wanted to come visit. AT the time, we had never met this man, but took him up on his offer. We had such an amazing time traveling around Ecuador, getting to know locals and learning a great deal about the culture. I wouldn't have changed a thing. Our trip to England was because of burlesque. I had been there as a teenager, but Tracy had never gone. It was a whirlwind trip of visiting and seeing as much as we possible could...we saw amazing art, architecture, ruins, castles, and of course, the studios where Harry Potter was filmed. We had VIP passes for the studios and that really made Tracy's trip. He deserves it; he works so hard for this family.
The other amazing thing that happened in this decade is that we went from renters to home owners. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. It seemed like the "grown up" thing to do. But man, being a renter is so much easier. Now WE are responsible for home repairs; that's not fun. However, being able to put a tiki bar in our back yard and paint the walls the colors we want IS fun. So its a give and take, and I'll take it.
We also watched our baby girl go from 10 to 20 years old. Do you know how much a kid changes in a decade??? She went from Elementary school to college to deciding that college isn't right for her. (I'm still trying to deal with that concept as that is still fresh). It's scary to think she won't be going to college and getting a degree, but she assures us that she has a plan to lead her to happiness and success in life. All I can do is trust that this will happen.
Nate went from 17 to 27. That means he went from high school to college, and he too, decided college wasn't the right thing for him. He is still trying to figure out what is right for him, but at least he keeps trying, and he hasn't given up. He has tried so many things, I applaud him for his tenacity and creativity and thinking outside of the box. He has the biggest heart I know, and I know that will serve him well.
We were also blessed with a grand baby by one of our bonus children, Jared and his ex wife Breezy. We love all of those kids so much. That grand baby gives us so much pleasure. He is a light in the darkness some days.
This last year of this decade has been harsh. I have never been so ready to see a year come to close, well except maybe the year that Nick died, but we were still grieving so hard, it didn't really make a difference. I'm ready to see this year come to a close. But with all of the angst, sadness, frustrations, scares, it is ending on a positive note with a new career for me. I"m starting 2020 off on a positive note and really hoping that next decade is one of good health, prosperity, joy, and positive growth for my entire family.
From my home to yours, happy New Year, and happy New Decade! May your lives be filled with joy, love, peace, prosperity, and grace to make it through the growth opportunities that are sure to come.
