We actually spent a very quiet New Year's Eve at home with our grand baby, Tytus, and our bonus son, Jared. Nate came home from work for a couple of hours while his participant was at work, and he and Jared (and Tytus) played video games. But for the most part it was a very quiet evening, and when I wasn't with Tytus, I spent time on a costume for burlesque.
Tracy and I did end the night in the hot tub, we were there at the stroke of midnight when all of the fireworks were lit off around us. It was kind of nice, actually. We spent some time talking about our goals for the year, and what we learned from 2018. I realized that once again, my husband and I are very different beings. LOL I spent a great deal of time thinking about what I have learned and what I can change and what goals I want to attain and work towards. He doesn't. LOL
I will say that my "goal" for 2018 was to "think big". I had some specific goals that I wanted to achieve and then I just had a mindset of "thinking big". Some specific goals were to move for as many miles at the year so (2018), teach a burlesque class, and perform burlesque in Oregon. When I set those goals, I had already applied to teach a class at a conference, and I had a date set for Oregon. Funny thing is, I had to cancel my plans for Oregon (for some reason, cant' remember what it was now), my movement goals got forgotten about once I managed to give myself a concussion (at least I think that is why). I did teach the class, and that was a blast. AND, I managed to get into 2 festivals that took me to Oregon (goal achieved) and to England (making me an international performer). The "thinking big" got me onto some stages I never thought I would be on... the Orpheum in Twin Falls, Idaho...a Portland stage for a competition, and a stage in Bristol, England for a Festival. It also found me, applying and getting accepted for a big show here in Boise at the Visual Arts Collective. This "thinking big" had me rubbing elbows with some Burlesque Power houses...and before the year was over, I had booked for this year with a producer I had wanted to work with for years. "Thinking Big" had me teaching art as a Docent at the Boise Art Museum and then had me applying for full time jobs I never thought I would be able to do. Before the end of the year, I was offered and accepted a job that has a career path and pays more than I have ever made (myself); that job starts next week. "Thinking Big" had us buying our very first home; we have lived in it for 4 years, but we finally bought it, and its our first home purchase. "Thinking big" had Tracy and I reevaluating the way we handle some things, like our money, and had me creating a new budgeting system that is working and saving money.
The year of thinking big also brought its challenges, and I am grateful for them. I am grateful for lessons learned. I'm grateful to have found some clarity at the end of the year that is pushing my grief healing to new "speeds" or new "understandings". At least now, I know where to go from here. I am also grateful for the conversations Tracy and I have had. It's been a challenging year for us as a couple. But I see this as growth and opportunity to sit down and talk and consciously create the marriage and relationship that we want moving forward. This can only be good. For Christmas we gave each other these great journals of lists that are suppose to prompt communication and a closer sense of togetherness. 52 weeks of communication to be done on date nights or whatever. I'm excited to learn and grow with Tracy.
So now here we are in 2019. What does this year hold for me? As Tracy and I talked about this last night, I found myself rattling off a long list of things I want to do. Then all of a sudden, I thought, "Wow! That is alot! Am I asking too much of myself?" Starting a new job is kind of scary. And I need to give myself grace and time to adjust. I also have some burlesque shows and performances that I am scheduled to do and new acts I want to create. So here is a list of things:
1) Complete my first year at Wells Fargo. By the end of the year, I will have been there 51 weeks (close enough to a year)...and the longest I have held a job in over 20 years. This will be a HUGE achievement for me.
2) I have decided that my brand of burlesque has a very distinct intention. Or at least I have set one. Before, my acts were driven by a specific show theme or some whimsy that caught my attention. Only a few have really been about what puts a fire in my soul. So from now on, my acts will be created with the intentions of either Laughter, Healing, Empowerment, and Love. If I can not find an act that has that intention or a show that allows for that intention, I will not perform. As I create my acts, these intentions will be there at all times while creating....and performing. I have a show scheduled in May, just as I am turning 50 years old. I am already creating 1 new act and costume for it. But I would like (if there is room in the show) to create one more.. my new Mary Poppins act. Then I have 3 more acts I would like to create 1) very funny and cheeky 2) very sensual and slow burn (completely out of my comfort zone) 3) Something very personal, healing, empowering that uses one of my stories that I wrote a long time ago that is told over music and ends with another song that I love. Oh..there is a 4th one as well, that just makes me giggle..not sure if it will get done this year or not. I would like to do a festival this year (as long as work is willing to let me go and do that)
3) I was given a new inspiration on December 30th. I would like to create my own brand of "angel cards" or "oracle cards". The kind of cards where you just pull a card for the day and focus on that saying or thought for the day. I will be working on this, and would like to have it done in time to order for Christmas. This requires learning a new skill on the computer and learning some new art techniques. This also requires starting my own business that is inspired by Nick.
4) Complete the 52 weeks of journaling with Tracy.
5) Continue on this healing path that I have started. I have questions about my physical health, and I will follow up on that to make sure that some of my emotional stuff is not being brought on by some physical stuff.
6) I am going to teach another burlesque class somewhere this year. I don't know where or what just yet, but it is happening. And by burlesque, I don't necessarily mean a performance class, but rather maybe some storyline class. I don't know how to describe it right now, but I have it in my head.
7) 2 weekends away with my hubby somewhere.
8) Focus on my intention for the year. Last year was "Think Big" and HUGE things happened. This year, my intention is on love and peace and laughter. May my words, deeds, and thoughts create peace, love and laughter not just for myself but for the people around me and the world at large.
In 2017, I went to an Evolving Out Loud seminar with Kyle Cease and he taught us a way of manifesting our desires and goals. I know what its called, but I can't spell it. But basically, you speak as if it has already happened like you are remembering it. So here is mine for 2019...
I remember that 2019 was a HUGE year of creative growth, success, strength, wisdom gained, knowledge gained, and wealth generation. It started out with laughter with our grand child and visit with our bonus son and listened to him talk about his goals for his life. And you know what? He did it! Jared got the manager position that he had wanted and is making plenty of money to support his son. He has found peace and laughter, and is genuinely happy with where his life is at now!
Tracy and I started the new year saying that we were strong and our marriage was going to make it. And you know what? It didn't just make it. But we are back to being as happy as we were in 2013. We are joyous together. We have connected in such a deep and intimate way. We have spent the entire year filling out that journal which allowed us to get to know each other better and opened up some great conversations. We have spent weekends away with each other going on fun and glamorous adventures. We have been acting like kids dating again, and it has been so fun! 2019 was our best year as a married couple yet!
I remember stepping in a studio filled with 15 women all wanting to learn and grow and empower themselves through the creative art of burlesque. The looks on their faces were tentative and excited. Some had never been to a burlesque workshop before; others were my friends from performances passed. They excitedly participated in opening themselves up to their own authenticity and learning how to find the hero within and use it to show up on stage..whether its a state to perform on or the stage of life...filled with a powerful force to be reckoned with! It was a huge success and everyone enjoyed themselves. As a result of that class, I have been asked to teach more classes in other studios and have already been asked to teach my class out of town to other performers.
I remember the excitement I felt walking into my first day on the joy at Wells Fargo. I was scared and excited and nervous. But as the year went by, I found my memory worked flawlessly. All those fears fell away as I became stronger and more confident in myself and my new job. My bosses are pleased with me. My coworkers have been amazing! I have even been given time off to perform out of town at a Burlesque Festival and I was given time off to perform here in town with Cairo Fusion. This job is allowing me to not only gain so much insight and growth in the financial world, but is also helping me with work/life balance so that I have not felt like I had to sacrifice my passion for necessity. Instead, my passion for service is strong and active within my day to day job, and is strong and active in my burlesque world as well. It has been the most perfect job for me. I remember being given excellent reviews and encouraged to continue growing with the company and creating a career here.
I remember the day that Nate told us that he found the perfect place to move to! I remember helping him pack and purchasing all the things he needs for a place of his own. He had a fantastic year with a new job that pays well and has amazing benefits. He is feeling fantastic about life and is finally settling down into adulthood all on his own. It has been a fantastic year for him and such a joy to watch and cheer him on through.
I remember the day I received my very first deck of ducky cards! They were absolutely perfect! They were everything I could have dreamed of. The colors were perfect. The designs were endearing and beautiful. The words were inspirational (and no one typo!). Not only that, but these beautiful cards, sold like hot cakes at Christmas time. Leaning the skills needed to make these cards was fun, and my heart was so light. I felt nothing but joy and peace as I followed this dream and inspiration. And now they are a huge success and are being carried in several brick and mortar stores in town as well as online. It has been everything I have ever imagined and so much more!
2019 was Great for Omi as well. Her relationship with Mason continued to grow. She found her way in college and her grades picked up and she has a drive and purpose and is happy to be in school and doing well. She brought her grades up and is feeling certain that she is on the right path. Work has been great for her. She made enough money to save up enough to go on a vacation she paid for herself and she even made enough money to pay for her share of the college bill. She has been in such great spirits. Her stomach issues have all but disappeared. She finally found the right doctor to help her get the sleep she needs. She is doing fantastic now!
2019 was a fantastic year filled with travel, laughter, love, success, happy relationships, financial freedom, good health, and peace! I feel so very grateful for all of the blessings that 2019 brought to us.
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Happy New Year, Friends! May your year be filled with all of the love, joy, peace and laughter.
