Finally, seriously......

On The Mend!!!

After waiting 4 1/2 months, I finally got to have my back surgery.  I'm not gonna lie.  I was nervous.  Yes, I have had a micro-discectomy before, and I even had the same surgeon.  But anytime I think about back surgery, I think about what *could* go wrong.  It is, after all, my back!  In 2005, the pain I experienced was crazy insane nerve pain that kept me in bed.  The pain I experienced this time wasn't crazy intense.  It just generally hurt and all very localized in my lumbar.  Sometimes it was better than others.  But it ALWAYS kept me from doing what I really wanted to do because the pain would get bad.

The MRI showed a ruptured disc in L4/L5 and some possible issues in L5/S1 (where I had my previous surgery). Dr. Doeer, told me he would go in and clean up L4/L5 and take a look at L5/S1.  With plan in place, and me all checked in, it was just a matter of time.

I really do love my surgeon.  I totally joke and call him Dr. Hottie, but to be completely honest, he may dress straight out of the GQ magazine, but he is one of the most talented surgeons I have ever met.  He is very intense and very good and what he does.  He doesn't take any non-sense and he gets in and gets the job done.  Sure the nurses can do some of his follow up work, but he would much rather be the person to do that. He wants to be complete control of his patient's experience.  He is pretty awesome. With all of that said, it didn't stop me from cracking jokes with him just before my surgery.  He came in to do the pre-op consultation and review and it was the first time I had see him in jeans that had holes in them, a running/workout shirt, and cowboy boots that were obviously some of his most favorite worn out comfy ones.  I joked and said, he must have a whole closet of boots to choose from, and he agreed with me.  He rotates expensive boots like I rotate expensive running shoes.  *laugh*  It was fun to see him a little bit more relaxed and comfortable.

Dr. Doerr has done 2 of my surgeries in recent years, but both of those have been at the big hospital here in town.  This time, I was having surgery in the private hospital owned and ran by the surgeons.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect. But let me tell you, if you live in Boise and you get the option to have surgery at Treasure Valley Hospital, DO IT!   My pre-op nurse was assigned to me and me only and made sure I was cared for.  Once it was time for surgery, the surgery nurse came and introduced herself to me and wheeled me back to the operating room. Once inside the OR, she introduced me to everyone else in the room.  I got to see the OR bed which looked like much more like a stretching/torture device than a bed.  It was two black rods with a sling/hammock type thing hanging between the two rods.  There were pads where I can only imagine my pelvic bones would be placed. There were pads where my chest and face would be placed. They placed pillows in that sling.  I talked to the nurse about the bed and she told me she lays in the "bed" before every surgery to make sure the patients would be comfortable.  The room itself was filled with very bright lights. It was very clean. I saw everyone running around getting ready. There was great music playing over head (just like on TV..its nice to know my surgeon has good choice in music).  Then I saw Dr. Doeer come in. He was covered from head to toe in "blood armor". *laugh*  He was all serious and NO ONE spoke to him.  He had his game face on and brought in his tools and got busy doing whatever it was he needed to get done.  Watching all of this going on was very reassuring.  Then I felt the cold stuff go into my IV, and I was gone.

I woke up in the recovery room to the sounds of Dr. Doeer talking sweetly to me.   "C'mon, sweetie, time to wake up." He touched me here and there to make sure I had feeling in places I needed to have feeling.  He also told me how surgery went and that the damage to my back was worse than we all had thought it was.

They wheeled me to my private room and I met my nurse and CNA.  I had this great huge window with a tree outside my window. I had Tracy open the blinds and I watched the storm come through. It was amazing!  Within the first hour, I had a grape Popsicle and 2 chocolate puddings and lots of ice chips.  Then I got to order my gourmet dinner which was amazing!  I was treated like a queen in the hosptial. The nurses were amazing.  By midnight, the catheter was taken out and I was walking the hallways.

Dr. Doeer came in at 9am the next morning to check on me and go over the surgery again.  He changed my dressing and took out the wound drainage. He did all of this without nurses help.  He insisted on doing it himself.  Again, he told me how bad the injury was and we both agreed that it was a good thing I had surgery; I was not going to get better without the surgery.  The rupture was much bigger than expected and was pressing on the nerve.  I had bone spurs in L5/S1 that were pressing on the nerves.  Now they are all gone. By 10:30, I was on my way home.

I had surgery on Wednesday; I went home on Thursday less than 24 hours after surgery.   It is now Saturday. Last night, we went out to a club for a work thing.  And I have only had 2 pain killers since 10:30 last night; its now 5pm on Saturday.  I'm walking a mile a day around my block (in increments) and I have very little pain.  The pain that I feel is from surgery and not from the injury.  My head is finally coming out of the fog a bit.  And I'm so pleased with the results of my surgery thus far.  I really am blessed with an amazing surgeon and support crew around me. I'm so glad my hubby supported the decision to have the surgery again.  I am taking recovery slowly and responsibly.  I will focus on strengthening my core before I get back into running.  But for right now, I am just grateful for being able to walk.

When Dreams Become Reality....

The Birth of Leahzetta Rose...

I can't even remember how long ago I saw my first Red Light Variety Show and said, "One day I will be up there!"  But it was probably around 3 years ago.  I had no idea HOW to go about getting up on stage with them, but I set that as a goal.  And one of my male friends (either Kurt or Kenneth) said, "And I will be there to catch it with a camera when you do!"  

Well last night was NOT Red Light Variety Show, but it was my debut performance as a burlesque performer!  I had the extreme honor of performing with Frankly Burlesque at Pengilly Saloon.  Each month, Frankly Frankie holds a burlesque show and she cycles in different performers every month.  3 weeks ago, I took an intensive bare necessities burlesque workshop with from her; there were 4 other women in that class.  As it turns out, I was the only one who was willing to perform, so the class dance became a solo.  For the last 3 weeks, I have been busy creating the perfect costume and then rolling with the punches when all of a sudden costuming plans changed.  First, I was going to lose my bra and get down to pasties and bare breasts.  But, recent events had Frankie changing plans and our breasts had to be covered at all times.  Since losing my bra was a significant portion of my classic burlesque performance, I had to get creative in order to live within the spirit of the law (if not the letter).   By "law" I mean liquor licensing rules.  (Long story)

So first and foremost, I had to create my original costume.......  Black bra, black panties, and pasties (the basics).  I already had a pair of black sequined panties from halloween..so it was just a matter of transforming a black bra into something fabulous and decorating the white pasties that Frankie won from Miss Dottie Minx and promptly gave to me.

The creative process was so much fun, and maybe a bit frustrating.  But the results were too much fun! I thought maybe it was a bit over the top, until the girls behind stage last night were all about the feathered bra :).  (Job well done)

I thought the costume was ready at this point until we were told we couldn't get down to just pasties.  So I went on the hunt for the perfect bra to fit under the feathered bra.  I needed something sheer......I ended up purchasing a bra that had a sheer mesh that was lined with polyester and lace that could be cut away. It worked out perfectly.  Then I added some rhinestones and....it turned out fabulous!!!

Now with everything I need to perform, the last thing was the question....."Do you have a dancer name?"  Oy!  I really didn't think Frankie would ask me that question.  I mean, I'm "just a student".  But I had been thinking about it anyway.  Every belly dancer thinks about a dance name.  Most burlesque performers have a different name than their given name.  So, yes, it was on my mind.  I had decided Leahzetta would be the first name.  It is a name that my mom found on a tomb stone in a family graveyard back in Texas.  She almost named me that.  So, as a tribute to my mom, and because it was an exotic name, I chose that.  But when I got the email asking about my dancer name, I was sitting around the table on Mother's Day with my family playing dominoes.  I asked them what they thought my last name should be.  Naomi came up with Rose.  So there we have it..... The naming of a burlesque dancer.  Now all I had to do, was get her to the bar and through the birth canal of dance and show her to the world.. or at least the crowd at Pengilly Saloon!

I was nervous about what to expect.  I had had panic attacks earlier in the week.  But I wasn't panicking about performing.  It was mostly about what to expect from before the show, and how things run.  It would be a completely different venue and context in performance than I am used to (or at least in my mind it was).  In reality, when I stopped to think about it, it's not much different than performing on stage for Oasis Dreams.

What I found when I got there, was something totally fantastic!  The women I was going to be sharing the stage with that night, were some of the most amazing and supportive women I have ever met.  All of us back in this little hall way turned dressing room.  Each of us helping the other with taping down costumes to cover up the necessities.  At one point, I had a woman I had just met kneeling down with her head at my rear end level helping me pull up sequined panties so as not to catch on the fishnet stockings! There were women helping each other clasp bras, tape on assles (pasties for our bum), and safety pinning dresses.  Makes up and glitter were being shared.  Hair spray was being passed around.  At one point, we were in various stages of undress when random men came walking through to get to the stairs to head up to offices just above us.  (Remember we were in a hall way.)  Then there is the lone man of the group, Dan.  He is freaking awesome...and there he was with the rest of us changing into costumes just like the girls.

I was worried about my costume.  Was it over the top? Was it okay?  But every performer back stage though it was amazing and creative.  And when they found out how old I was they cheered.  When they found out I was "popping my cherry" of burlesque performing they were all supportive.  It was the best experience I have ever had in any kind of "locker room" scenario!  Belly dance is about the same way, but I don't spend much time in a dressing room for belly dance performances.

Finally, it was time for me to go on stage. I was first to perform.  I stood behind the closed curtain and heard Frankly Frankie introduce me as her student, a belly dancer, and this being my first burlesque performance. Then she introduced me, and I heard my name, "Leahzetta Rose" and I KNEW I had picked the right name.  The curtain opened with my back to the audience, and the crowd cheered!  The music began, and my body moved and I got my flirt on! By the time I turned around and faced the audience, I could see each one of them out there.  They were whooping and hollering. They were cheering me on.  I was making eye contact with them.  I was so grateful for the huge smiles on my hubby's and our friend Rene's faces as I danced.  My other friends were out there somewhere.  But I focussed on who I could see and I flirted with my eyes and my dance and felt completely amazing!!!!

At one point, I could feel my face/smile shaking.  I wasn't nervous.  It was adrenneline. I told it to chill the heck out.  And I kept dancing.  The song ended with my hands in the air, my tassels spinning and a curtsy and kiss blown to the crowd.  Whew!!!  Leahzetta Rose was born into the warm and welcoming cheers of the audience of Pengillly's.  Once she stepped off stage, she was gathered in warm embraces by the other dancers.  Once I was out of costume and into "street clothes", just like a new born baby, I was passed around the audience and embraced with words of encouragement, love, and welcome to this new community of burlesque performers!

It was truly a birth... a right of passage.. and for my 45th birthday and 25th mother's day!  What a better way to celebrate Mother's Day than to give birth to my own beautiful amazing burlesque dancer, Leahzetta Rose!!!

The cherry on top?? As I was giving Frankly Frankie a hug goodbye and thanking her for giving me the opportunity, she gave me such lavish praise for the way I worked the audience.  And then she asked me if I would want to keep doing this with her.  Yes!!!!!  Dream come true!!!!  So, look out, there will be more of Leahzetta Rose to come!  She wasn't just a one-dance wonder!  Here's to more creative friskiness to come!